We have already covered in the previous two posts a
couple items that fall under what I call “Rule #1” or “Be a manly man”. We
talked about “The Man Hour” when you let all that is uniquely masculine within you take
control and get the loud brutal nasty part of you escape out of your system out of the sight of the ladies, and we have
covered dressing properly to be attractive for the ladies in “Clothes Make the
Man”. Today I would like to take it a little further and talk about what it
means to be a “Classy Guy”.
Having Class and Grace are not restricted just to
one gender. In fact some of the ideas I will present here were gathered (and
modified) from a blog called The Classy Woman.
If you read through the Classy Woman and think about
the modern world after you get past the ads for pretty dresses and shoes, I
think that you will agree that most of it can be modified to fit the modern
male just as well. Certainly to me being a Surrendered Husband involves being a class act
and not a crass bore.
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| Tea Your Ladyship? |
Some of the behaviors that I think define class and
elegance are:
1.
SMILE! Smiling creates a pleasant environment for those around you and
keeps your spirits up too, no matter what life is throwing at you each day. It
is a sign both of confidence in your abilities AND of your own comfort level
with yourself. Smiling often instills a sunny disposition in the ladies who see
it as well. Smiling gives other people a positive outlook and they usually
bounce it right back. Research shows that women spend more time with guys who
are smiling constantly than those who don’t. It also shows that they find them
to be more attractive and more fun to be around and play with. All real ladies
LIKE to be surrounded by happy, perky, lads and so will yours!
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| Smile! Women like happy guys just like YOU like being around happy women! |
2.
Project a positive and
cheerful attitude! Women like to be around guys who are eager to please and always
have a kind word to say. A sunny disposition will brighten any room and lighten
the moods of others. People like to be around other happy cheerful people and
they will seek you out and pass by the perpetually downcast.
3.
Do not gossip. Do not talk ill of
other people, even if it is true! Have only positive things to say about
others, or simply hold your piece. There will be times when others will tempt
you into making statements about other people that you dislike. You need to see
these times as opportunities to practice deflecting the conversation. When
asked what you think of Joe Jones (whom you really dislike), the bottom line
roughest thing you should say would be something like “Well Joe and I have had
our differences. We should just leave it at that.”
4.
Do not be
argumentative. You may think that what you have to say must be heard, but most
people are really not interested in your harsh opinions on politics or religion
or any other controversial subject. In fact if others bring controversial
subjects up that could cause hard feelings, this will be your opportunity to
try and steer the conversation in a different direction. By saying something
like: “That’s a fascinating subject. But maybe now is not the time or place to
discuss it.”, you acknowledge the value of the person asking and re-focus
everyone’s attention away from a dangerous subject matter. A guy who can do
this and avoid speaking ill of others will be someone who is sought out in
polite company and often trusted with secrets that other might not be.
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| No one likes a loud butt head. |
5.
Do not be a bore. It is important to
learn new things and it is important to have interesting ideas. But remember
that what fascinates and motivates you may not be what fascinates and motivates
others. If you find yourself getting excited over some subject do a quick
reality check. Is the person listening actually interested or are they trying
to be polite while pulling away. In most social encounters, it is best to keep
conversation light and upbeat. Do not drill way down in detail on anything
unless you are certain that the other person is just as interested as you are
AND is in basic agreement. Women seem to especially dislike men who have strong
opinions and will not be quiet around them.
6.
Be Chivalrous at all
times. Classy
lads always hold doors for ladies. Classy guys are always polite. They give
their coats to ladies who are cold, and they are always ready to defend a
ladies honor or physical well being. It makes no difference just who that lady
is, she is a lady! As a Surrendered Hubby, you were put on Earth to serve,
defend, and show respect for ladies both in public and in private! You were
given muscles to protect little girls, old ladies, and even street walkers, not
just the Lady who holds the legal papers on you, or other ladies that you think
are “classy”. So always open doors for ladies and always let them know that you
will defend them should the need arise. This will fill women with a sense of
confidence, empowerment, and well being when they are with you and will
communicate to them that you are both trustworthy and a really good guy!
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| Chivalry which is a form of service to ladies, needs to become the measure of manhood once again. |
7.
Profanity is a no-no,
and so is slang. Do not swear in front of women! It is low class. Sure I swear
during “Man Hour” but I keep it at that. Don’t let ladies hear you cuss. It is
offensive and low. Learn to enunciate your words. Do not slur them or use
excessive slang. Show your class and style by exercising and practicing
speaking well.
8.
Dressing and Grooming
well are important. We went over some thoughts on wardrobe in a previous post, think
along the same lines when grooming. Keep the hair on top of your head and your
facial hair if any neat. Wash regularly, and present yourself as a clean and neat
package.
9.
Walk Tall, and
Gracefully, you Will Feel More Attractive! Whether you are making a grand entrance at the
opera, walking your Lady Boss into a fine restaurant, doing the grocery shopping,
or just pumping gas, hold your chin high. Stand with your head up, your shoulders
back, lengthen your spine, and tuck your tummy in. Gracefully walk to your
destination, always with purpose. Cute and classy guys always appear as though
they have something very important to do, but are never in a rush about it.
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| Grace in more than name. |
10.
Do Not Ogle Women! Never ever ogle or
stare at women! Walk slowly, fully erect, with a sweet blank smile on your face
and look straight ahead with gentle purpose and know that women are checking
YOU out! Your mission is to be their pretty cupcake NOT the other way around! I
know you WANT to check them out. Resist the urge! It makes them uncomfortable.
Pretend that you don’t even see them! Soon their eyes will fall easily upon
you! Don’t worry, if you have done everything else we’ve talked about up to
this point you will get more than your share of the ladies checking you out!
And wouldn’t you really rather have women feeling good about you and looking
you over hungrily than turning away from you thinking that you are a creep?
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| Oh the Ladies DO check us out! Be worthy of it! |
Trust me, they DO look!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5970007/Men-spend-a-year-staring-at-women.html
11.
Stay in Control! Don’t get drunk. Don’t yell and
argue. Don’t be loud or have a sharp tongue. Losing self control is a sign of
poor breeding and a sign that you are not doing your best to be classy. Know
your limits. In terms of drinking, most women (not all) are more self
controlled AND smaller. If you only match her drink for drink and do not go past
her limits, you should be fine. Of course if your date is a real boozer, maybe
YOU should look for a different lady.
12.
Learn
how to take a Compliment. Too many people shrug off well meant comments
either on their accomplishments, work, physical beauty, wardrobe, home and the
list goes on. They do this with the "it's no big deal" response and
attitude. You work hard every day and commit yourself just like Hollywood celebrities
do but they accept their Oscars and Emmy Awards for all of their dedication and
accomplishment. Smile, politely say thank you and just feel good about
yourself. If you have received a compliment from a lady you have pleased a lady,
and THAT is your life’s purpose! This also includes just being looked over! If
a lady checks you out, smile back softly and acknowledge that you feel
privileged to have been her eye candy that day.
13.
Know How
to turn down a request. There are times in life where we are simply
too tired, not interested or don't have the financial wherewithal to take part
in an upcoming event or in someone's request. Most people just say okay, I'll
do it or I'll be there because they don't want to be perceived as rude or
selfish. There is nothing wrong with taking time for yourself, just ensure you
express it the right way. Example: Your grandmother asks you to take some items
she has stored for you (as she knows she is moving to a retirement home soon)
and you just don't have the room and do not like them anyway. Simply say
"Grandma, these are definitely some neat treasures. I would love to but I
just can't." This does not leave room for discussion on how big your
apartment is, if you have a storage locker or what personal style is. If she
asks again, repeat the same words. "I would love to but I simply can't.
This is probably enough about “Rule #1” for now.
Next time we will move
from being a “manly man” to being your wife’s eager to serve and happy house
maid. (er, butler right?)
Until then… Remember that class and style involve making the other person comfortable around you without selling yourself short. If you can show 'good breeding' and make people happy to see you coming, your life will be good.
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