The Art of "Gifting"

After enforced chastity, one of the other cornerstones (at least as I read the literature) of a Female Led relationship (FLR) is that She must have total financial control of the marriage. The man needs to have his paychecks direct deposited into an account that only she has access to! She takes TOTAL control of their money and he lives on an allowance that she can set for him. Basically he has enough money to get gas and drive back and forth to work. She may give him enough money to go grocery shopping but when he does, he gives her all the change and accounts for every penny in the receipt.

Money is A Source of Her Power and Her Fun!!

This is another level of her having complete control of his life. He certainly isn’t going to be going out for drinks with the boys and coming home at all hours of the night. Nor is he going to be wasting the family’s money on a new jet-ski or flat screen TV without her permission.

hubby is reduced to a waif in his own home

I can see how she might enjoy having the power of having every penny in her pocket and making him beg for anything other than the most basic things, especially if she had a playfully cruel streak in her. And I have to admit that having HER micro managing my every thought, breath, and deed has been a fantasy that I have entertained more than once. But again, this is at least to me, fantasy. I cannot imagine either of us enjoying that level of control for very long. She would get tired of my begging and while the powerlessness and humiliation may seem a turn on, it would become painful and degrading in reality. So while this might work for some couples, and maybe it is the only thing that works when the marriage is in such bad shape that extreme measures need to be taken, I just don’t think it would work for me or most other couples in the real world.

Please, Please, Please, Please... (Well this DOES look fun!)

Like his chastity, his earnings are something normally placed under a man’s control. It is not there to be abused but to be used properly. And like chastity there are many temptations to abuse this gift and use it selfishly and destroy its true value in the relationship. For me, I find both of these items to be opportunities to channel my love for my Queen. My chastity is my God ordained gift to Her. My sexual energy is almost boundless if channeled properly and we are both very happy in my self-denial. When it is time, she receives all that I am. I lay my offering before Her as a worshiper would before his very Creatrix. When it is not time I am reminded that any small amount of suffering that I do now I do in her service, and that is what should truly matter to me. With money I am pretty frugal. I buy what we need and am not extravagant in most cases. There are two exceptions to my rule of frugality. 

1 ) I dress well. I find it important to look attractive if part of your role is to be the arm candy of your Queen. If you want to please her, do your best to be something that she would actually want! I will have another post on mens' clothing in the coming days. (This all goes with Rule One – Be a manly man, towards the outside world that any woman would be proud to have. Dressing well is part of this big one!)

2 ) I look for ways to glorify her and show my love for her through gift giving. I do not scrimp on gifts. I give lavishly. I buy her things of quality and present them as one gives gifts to one’s Queen.

Now one must always consider their financial condition before doing these things and the response should be appropriate, but the art of giving involves sacrificing the wants and needs of the giver in order to show a level of love and devotion to the receiver that should touch her heart. Gift Giving is one of the Five Languages of Love.

Take the 5 languages quiz yourself, then show it to your significant other:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

My advice to you before you go off and buy her a new Bentley, a diamond tiara, and a sable coat is to consider your own financial position as a couple. Do you have funds set aside for a rainy day? Are you on track with your retirement savings? Are you actively saving for some big project? If these things are on track, it will give her a feeling of financial security and I have to emphasize that a feeling of financial security will trump any fancy present you can give her! A sense of financial security is VERY HIGH on most any woman’s list of things she seeks in a man or a relationship. So make certain that your ducks are in a row first!

A Full Length Russian Sable Coat - YUM!

There was a time when my Queen would actually become angry with me for buying her romantic gifts! The time was not right and I had not ‘earned the privilege’ to buy her romantic gifts yet! The greatest gift that she wanted was a man to do the housework! She wanted her home under control, neat and clutter free and not having to do it herself. I gave her that gift. I am an imperfect house keeper and since I work 40 hours a week as does she, the house is not immaculate. Nor am I the most efficient at the tasks I do. But the point is that I put forward the effort as a GIFT to her. Now that the housework is under control, she is more relaxed and feels more loved. Yes I am speaking in the Language of Doing Chores for her. Service is the language she wants to hear the most. Doing this also has freed her spirit up to enjoy her second language and that is gift giving. 

In Their Proper Respective Places

I buy her clothes. I buy her jewelry. I send her flowers at work. (This one goes over well as she gets to show off in front of her co-workers! She is always really happy if the other ladies are just a little bit jealous…) I take her out to eat in good restaurants. I take her to the best concerts and plays. I whisk her out of town for romantic weekends at least every three months. I take care of all the details and make certain that the evening or weekend is all about her. I make sure that there is no reason that she should NOT feel like the Queen! I tell her that she is my Queen and I show her that she is my Queen.

Majesty, I beg Thee accept my humble gift...

And finally, a word on “Gifting Opportunities”.

If you think about it, you can find little gifts and little reasons for giving her things all the time. When I grocery shop, I always buy a bouquet of fresh flowers each week. I cut them and put them on the table. They add color and warmth to any room. She always smiles when she sees new flowers. Most men will waste this opportunity to please. I stop and get a bottle of wine for no reason and bring it home. I do the same with ice cream or baking. When she is away and I am home, she often comes home to a cake or pan of brownies. It makes her homecoming more pleasant and comfortable. (Oh here is an aside to any guy out there who is still looking for that special someone. “Make sure your home or apartment is neat and clean, and always have both wine and a nice quality of ice cream in your fridge! MOST WOMEN LOVE WINE and they also LOVE ICE CREAM! If you have both on hand and the place is neat and comfortable, when she visits she will feel very at ease and quite happy. Simple trick, never forget it! Oh and keep doing it FOREVER once you are married too!)

Any tiny gift that had thought put behind it can make a nice impression. She wants to know how important she is to you and how much time you spend thinking about her. 

Those are the every day gifts. There are also the High Holy Days of Woman Gifting! Most men have trouble remembering the basics on these days, don’t be average! The standard dates where you the luckily owned male get to celebrate her greatness are 1 ) Her Birthday, 2 ) Christmas, 3 ) Valentine’s Day, 4 ) Your Anniversary, and 5 ) Mother’s Day. These can be the GREATEST days of your entire year if you do them right! Plan ahead. Think ahead. Get her something special and personal. KNOW HER. Know what she likes! Always know her clothing sizes and tastes. If you get her thoughtful gifts, take her out to eat (or cook something special for her), do extra things for her (sometimes we call them chores), and get her a romantic or even a funny card – you sir will be on your way to domestic bliss!

Gifts!!! Appropriate For All Goddesses!

Now those are the OFFICIAL High Holy Days. Now the TRULY Surrendered hubby will be inventive and CREATE MORE Woman Worshiping Days on his calendar! This is something that I have done and am constantly on the lookout for new opportunities as well. Since My Queen was born quite close to Christmas, as a child she never got the kind of attention that she should have on her birthday. Therefore I have instituted the “Half Birthday” celebration in mid-summer. A gift, a card, a dinner, a massage, you name it! This is a new chance to adore the Queen! And trust me, she brags about it at work! I have been asked about this from her co-workers when she was present. I get a very warm glow in my cheeks when something like that happens. It is always a little bit embarrassing, but it shows HER and all the ladies she knows that she has a VERY eager to please hubby! And trust me Women even if they laugh at first, LIKE that!

I also dug through my memory banks and scoured the internet to discover the actual date of our first date! Now THAT has become a High Holy Day to celebrate my good fortune in coming under her loving authority as well! As I have gotten into my role of celebrator of all things 'HER', we have begun to set aside the date of October 25^th each year to watch a DVD of Shakespeare’s Henry V. We just happen to like that play and Oct 25^th is the anniversary of St. Crispin’s Day and the date the great battle in the play takes place. St. Crispin it turns out was the patron Saint of cobblers. Therefore, I now present my Queen with a new pair of shoes each October 25^th. You see? Be inventive and create little holidays to celebrate how wonderful it is to be hers. She will enjoy it and you will be MORE than amply rewarded for your efforts.

Good boy!