Continuing
on with what I consider Rule #1 “Be a manly man.”, I thought that today would
be a good time to talk about clothes. I know that many reading this as an FLR
Blog are thinking cross dressing here. Sorry, as sexy a fantasy as that might
be I am talking about being a man and dressing in men's clothes. Nice clothes.
Quality clothes. Clothes that will get you noticed not for their flamboyance
but for your understated style.
One of
the many blessings we have as men today is that women are no longer shy about
looking us over and letting us know that they appreciate being around guys whom
they consider to be “eye candy”. I have experienced “The Look” more than once
and every time it feels like a blessing straight out of heaven!
I was handed the phrase “The Look” on a wonderful day when I was dressed well and had just experienced it myself several times in a row. I was at the art museum in a big city that I do not live in on a crowded Saturday afternoon. I was wearing a pair of charcoal slacks, black wingtip shoes, a light blue Oxford button down shirt, a colorful tie (one of my collection of Jerry Garcia ties to be exact) and a tweed charcoal jacket (which has just a hint of a couple other colors in the weave). That jacket is my favorite piece of clothing. I was on my way to somewhere near there in a short time and just wanted to stop and get some lunch.
I was handed the phrase “The Look” on a wonderful day when I was dressed well and had just experienced it myself several times in a row. I was at the art museum in a big city that I do not live in on a crowded Saturday afternoon. I was wearing a pair of charcoal slacks, black wingtip shoes, a light blue Oxford button down shirt, a colorful tie (one of my collection of Jerry Garcia ties to be exact) and a tweed charcoal jacket (which has just a hint of a couple other colors in the weave). That jacket is my favorite piece of clothing. I was on my way to somewhere near there in a short time and just wanted to stop and get some lunch.
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| Ladies LOVE Well Dressed Guys! |
Now one
would expect the crowd at a big city art museum on a Saturday afternoon to be
fairly well dressed. But what I found was that most people were in baggy sweat
pants, or old faded jeans, or some other ‘height of casual’ fashion. I had just
parked the car and been looked over thoroughly by roving female eyes probably
four or five times by the time I reached my destination, which was the museum cafe.
The lady at the register looked at me and smiled. “My, but you are well
dressed.”
GODDESS IN HEAVEN, I LOVE HEARING THOSE WORDS COME FROM A WOMAN’S LIPS!
GODDESS IN HEAVEN, I LOVE HEARING THOSE WORDS COME FROM A WOMAN’S LIPS!
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| Ooouuuuhhh check him out! |
My
response to that or basically any compliment is always a gentle smile and soft
eye contact: “Why thank you.” A simple thank you shows class. It acknowledges
the other person for saying good things about you and it neither deflects the
praise in false humility, nor becomes boastful as it could if you were to suddenly dive into unwanted details. Just say “Why, Thank you.” It always works and allows both of you
to feel good about the conversation.
She
continued obviously wanting to talk some more about men's clothing: “My husband
travels for work and he often wears a suit when he flies. He tells me that when
he does he gets “The Look” all the time. Then she laughed a little and said:
“You KNOW what I’m talking about don’t you?” I blushed a little and said “Yes,
and well it’s really pretty nice.” “Well, let me tell you that WE appreciate it
when you guys dress nice. That’s for sure.” I felt like she had broken the
secret sisterhood’s vow of silence on something that we are not supposed to be
told. And I REALLY appreciated it.
Was she flirting with me? Oh maybe just a little, she did tell me about her husband. She obviously wasn’t ‘on the prowl’. But what she DID do was pay me the ultimate compliment that a twenty first century male can receive from a female. She had basically told me that I looked pretty and that she enjoyed looking me over and wanted to thank me for dressing up for her. She made me feel really good the rest of the day and only re-enforced what I had learned on my own elsewhere.
Was she flirting with me? Oh maybe just a little, she did tell me about her husband. She obviously wasn’t ‘on the prowl’. But what she DID do was pay me the ultimate compliment that a twenty first century male can receive from a female. She had basically told me that I looked pretty and that she enjoyed looking me over and wanted to thank me for dressing up for her. She made me feel really good the rest of the day and only re-enforced what I had learned on my own elsewhere.
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| True Story |
After lunch I was standing in the main hallway waiting for my Queen and must have experienced "The Look" a dozen times in ten minutes or so. It was HEAVEN! For the first time in my life I recognized in women's eyes what I knew had been in my own for them so many times. A woman would suddenly notice me and look me over from head to toe a little hungrily and then just as suddenly she would realize that I had seen her and dart her eyes away in shame.
When I see a woman paying me that ultimate compliment of checking me out like that I always try to find a way to silently thank her with a gentle smile and maybe a tiny nod. But just like us, they too feel a certain shame in being caught staring. So if they are bold enough to retain contact, smile and nod. It is a way for them to feel good about checking you out.
Now I am no awesomely handsome dude. I want to make that clear. I'm fair looking, but my face will not stop clocks and my body while it is big and strong looking is not what one would call trim. All I am saying is that ANY guy can improve the way he looks to women simply by paying attention to his wardrobe. It's not that hard guys!
Like
most things, fashion obviously swings back and forth. In the 1930s and 40s men
basically dressed in suits and ties whenever they were out in public. I really
like how they dressed back then. The movies show a real flare for what it was
to be a gentleman. Well dressed, but not prissy. A manly man if you will who
has an easy careful manner but isn’t afraid to give someone a sock on the jaw if he insults a lady.
One of my favorite movies from the era is called “Mr. Lucky” and stars Cary Grant and Loraine Day. Cary Grant was always both stylish and manly in all of his movies. The ladies LOVED him! OK maybe later we found out that he didn’t love the ladies quite as much as they loved him, but still his on screen persona is something I find inspirational.
One of my favorite movies from the era is called “Mr. Lucky” and stars Cary Grant and Loraine Day. Cary Grant was always both stylish and manly in all of his movies. The ladies LOVED him! OK maybe later we found out that he didn’t love the ladies quite as much as they loved him, but still his on screen persona is something I find inspirational.
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| Lorraine Day And Carey Grant in Mr Lucky |
Today, we
live in a time when the average person dresses like they just fell out of bed
and found a couple of rags to tape to their bodies. IMHO, the pendulum between
‘too formal’ and ‘too casual’ has swung to the absolute limit of casual and
should be swinging the other way very soon. (MY GAWD I HOPE SO!)
So what does
this mean to you, the potentially ‘Surrendered Husband’, the potential 'Stepford' or 'Trophy' husband? It means ‘Easy
Pickings’! That’s what it means! I love it. It is SO easy for me to out dress
the average man around me now and garner the share of female attention that he deserved too that it makes me laugh.
Here are
some guidelines on how to dress like a classy gentleman:
1)
Go
through your closet and simply eliminate anything that does not make you look
good when you wear it! If it is worn, torn, stained, or ill fitting either
donate it to charity, throw it out or designate it to the ‘clothes used when painting’
category. Get Rid of it! Why would you WANT to wear something that makes you
look poorly?
2)
Take
pride in what you do own. Keep your shoes shined. Take your shirts to the
cleaners and have them cleaned and pressed. Look sharp!
3)
Update
your style. I work in a place where the ‘uniform’ is khaki pants and polo
shirts all the time and THEN we have ‘Casual Friday’! On Friday the ‘uniform’
is worn out blue jeans and running shoes. I never found worn out clothes to
actually be more ‘comfortable’ than sharp looking ones. So I wear nice clothes
every day at work. I wear nice dress slacks, polished dress shoes and when the
weather permits a sports coat. I like it when the weather permits me to wear a
jacket like that. I do not wear ties to work. I would if it felt right but
going too far above the norm can make you look cartoonish. For example, it might
be fun to wear a tuxedo, top hat, and a men’s mink coat. But I would not wear
them to an eighth grade soccer game. Get the pic? So until style catches up a
bit I will not be wearing a tie to work in a casual office atmosphere.
4)
Slowly
replace your old clothes with quality new clothes. Update your look while you
are at it. Have a plan and add one piece at a time to a nice wardrobe. I shop
regularly. It is something I do over lunchtime and I work with a couple of
tailors here in my town who know what I like. They also know that I shop and am
not always going to buy something on every visit, but I do give them my
business. I COULD buy things at department stores, but the quality of the
material is not always the same, nor will you get a fit that is as good. These
higher quality clothes can be expensive, and that is why I buy one piece at a
time while keeping my overall plan on track.
Now it’s
obvious that you need to dress appropriately for your surroundings. I don’t
wear a tie to work, but I do wear one when I am out on the town. I don’t wear a
suit to mow the lawn. If you work in say an auto body shop, you will wear
clothes that are durable and that you can damage if need be. But after work,
after whatever it is that you do that requires rough clothes, dress up and take
your lady out on the town. Be her “Arm Candy”, let her show you off to other
women as their “Eye Candy”. Face it, men love going out with good looking women! It makes the man look better in other men's eyes. The opposite is also true. Women like taking a fine looking guy out with them and parading him in front of other women too!
Finally think about this – If you had the opportunity to do something simple that would
make you look good in women’s eyes would you do it? Of course you would!
Guys workout like fiends to look good to women only to waste all that work by
dressing as if it did not matter at all what they wore.
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| Crunches are a pain, dressing well is easy! |
Here are
a couple of links about men’s clothing and dressing well. I don’t necessarily
agree with everything in them but they do have some very good information:
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