Keep an Open Heart and an Open Mind for Her - She Will Fill It For You!

A while back I made an entry about “Male Patterned Sassy Mouth” and how we all need to avoid it. This is one of the most common problems I see written about in the entire FLR blogosphere. Men WANT to serve, worship, please, and obey their women! And yet we often end up ‘Sassing Momma Back’ much to our own shame and chagrin. 

Why do guys who YEARN so desperately to please and serve the women that they Worship end up in reality acting like petulant and disobedient children?

To me the problem almost always starts when I have ‘something already on my mind’. I SAY that I am dedicated to pleasing and serving HER and yet I have plans of my own. It may be that I am ‘Watching the game on TV’ or that I am reading or already have a list of jobs I WANT to get done. At that point she will come to me and start talking about something that is TOTALLY outside of my stream of consciousness. To the mind already emotionally engaged in whatever it was already doing, this can seem like an invasion! What happens when men feel like that? They react in a hostile way generally.

Example 1:

I am watching the probably 10,000,000^th ball game of my life on TV. It’s the 3^rd period, 4^th quarter, 9^th inning and someone is trying in desperation to tie a close game. SUDDENLY while I am transfixed (as I often am) on the immensity of the situation, my wife sits down beside me and starts telling me about her day at work and some co-worker that was rude to her after not pulling their own weight. 

My NATURAL reaction (since I am already deeply engrossed in the drama of it all is to snap “HONEYYYYYYYYYYYY, I’M TRYING TO WATCH THIS!!!!!” or something even ruder.

OK, show of hands. Who thinks that was a wise course of action?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

No. That is what we call a screw up and believe you me, you are going to pay for it. You tell her that you are dedicated to serving and pleasing her and yet you are actually holding out on her. You are allowing other things to take control of your mind when what you WANT is to be open to her thought processes and her wishes and desires. Now I am not saying that you want to be her programmable robot, although some of those Female Dominance Mind Control Stories are pretty Shall we say “HAWT”?

But what you DO want to do is to honor her in terms of listening to what animates her and being there to be supportive when she feels poorly. I mean really, is THIS GAME that important? Is this TV SHOW, MAGAZINE ARTICLE, MOVIE, RADIO BROADCAST all THAT important that you should shunt her aside when SHE wants to talk? A happy home and a confident, satisfied wife is more important to me that whether the Sand Crabs beat the Mudbugs by one or by five.

Bet This Guy's Wife Always Dreamed Of Moments Like This When She Was Little.

Example 2:

I am in SUPER Pussy Whipped Good Boy House Hubby mode! I have organized my entire day of dude work and house cleaning and I know that to get it all done, I will have to work hard all day! There will be no time or energy left to ‘screw around’ and I am not only happy with that, I’m quite eager to get it all done and do it as a sacrificial gift to the Queen of my World! Oh She Will Be SO happy!

I dive in and start working away on task number one on my list. 

Suddenly she appears and while I am aggressively sweeping the kitchen floor, she says: “Honey, do you think that you can help me get some things out of the attic now? I promised that I would bring that old XYZ machine and the attached Whirlatron device to Ms. Whitaker this morning and well I’ll need for you to put it together and test it out for her when we get there and….”

I snap “Honey, I’ve got a long list of things to do today and I...” I only half catch yourself so as not to explode at her and say something like “I JUST DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!” but it’s only a half catch and well I fail again and it comes out as really angry. The tone comes out as: “HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT ME WHEN I AM DOING ALL THIS FOR YOU!!!!???”

Now in the afterglow of this disaster, I start to reflect on what my intent was when I made up that long list in the first place. It was to please HER and make her happy that her ‘good boy’ was taking care of things FOR HER.

Does she LOOK happy?

Smooth Move Buddy. Now SHE'S MAD TOO!

Solution 1:

I think the key to any situation where one loses their cool like this is to work on their state of self-control. In my last entry I talked about how self-discipline can replace external discipline in any organization and that includes the home. One of the ‘things’ each of us needs to be working on is our self-control and self-discipline.  If one can ‘curb their enthusiasm’, then anything that would normally be seen as an ‘interruption’ is not seen as a serious breech. Keep things in perspective. Don’t get carried away! EVEN IN SERVICE TO HER LADYSHIP, don’t get carried away!

When I first arrive at home at the end of the day, my last thought just before I open that door is that she is inside and the jumbled crazy world inside my head is just that. A crazy jumbled mixed up pile of whatever. BEFORE I face her, my mind needs to be clear, relaxed, and open. Yes I need to CLEAR MY MIND and be ready to embrace what she wants to put in it! She may have made plans for us for dinner out. She may have a minor crisis on her hands that she needs you to drop everything for. She may just want to talk to you.

 

Wine Your Ladyship?

 

YOU need to be open to whatever comes. Be ready to be flexible! A calm relaxed and open mind is a key to good relations and being a good servant to her. Think of what being a good butler would mean. That is basically what you are. You serve in many ways as her butler. (That is of course unless she dresses you REALLY PRETTY! Tee hee hee! Even then, does a good ‘maid’ come blustering into a room yelling about the traffic on the 419 tonight?) Does a good butler start yelling about the current situation in Congress? No. Butlers (and maids) enter a room demurely and with a mind that is flexible enough to satisfy Her Ladyship’s immediate wants and needs. Butlers live with self-discipline in order to serve better!

Oh Now That's Just Silly! No One Would Actually Think This Was Cute Or Attractive Or....
Well Hmmm...
Well Some Might. Not That I'm Saying I Would!!!

They are demure. They are circumspect. And they are flexible. Yes they have a plan for what they will be doing if not called upon for something else, but they are totally prepared to interrupt those plans to serve the immediate needs of Her Ladyship.

When I find myself getting too wrapped up in something when I am around her, I now have a little mental alarm that goes off that says “Cool it.” It has taken years to build up this inner alarm but it serves us both well.

The Buddhists have a thought on all of this. It is called being in a state of ‘non-attachment’. For the Buddhist, to be attached to things or ideas is to suffer because we are not then open to the real world that exists outside our minds. So practice a little ‘non-attachment’ when in the presence of your Queen. I think that it will serve you both well.

Relax your mind and do not fret over small things.

Solution 2:

You sign a Level Five Female Led Relationship contract with her. In that pact you both agree that if you are ever naughty in the SLIGHTEST that she is to slap your face hard immediately afterward no matter what you are doing and drag you by the ear to her dungeon! Once there you will become naked and attached to a punishment chair where She will flay your ass with a rattan cane until you are bright red from top to bottom and are dehydrated from all the tearful apologies that you have given. After that it is unlikely that you will make that same mistake again.

Solution Two Also Looks Effective

Either way.

;)