Reality - The Road To Joy – Part 2

Drawing women and their womanly energy TOWARD you instead of away.

In Part 1 I talked about trying to bridge the gap between the incredibly persistent and very powerful fantasy life that many of us have about female dominance and the reality of our lives. At the same time we find these fantasies really humiliating and not only would we die of shame if our friends and family saw us performing these acts, we would be mortified if they just caught us cruising the web just looking at PICTURES of this stuff!

Total Female Domination and Humiliation, A Dream Come True? In REAL LIFE, Maybe Not So much...

 

I believe that these fantasies are SO STRONG within us (and many many other men! You are not uniquely weird. Weird yes. Unique no.)  because we are suppressing them. As individuals we suppress them and as a society we suppress everything that supports them! Sexual fetishism obviously is suppressed in public and probably for good reasons. But so is real and personal female empowerment. 

We seem able nowadays to accept women with advanced degrees and even women who have climbed the corporate ladder. But it is still a jump to openly in public accept that a woman can be ‘the boss’ at home, or that a man should dedicate himself to service, even obedience to her.

If you push hard enough in one direction, (suppression of female power over us and our natural desire to surrender to it) something will pop out somewhere else (harsh dramatic fantasies of degradation, pain, and humiliation).

It’s probably not the healthiest way to live with our minds and souls divided like that.

I also went over some of the ways that we have misread female desires, dreams, and fantasies in the past as well. While most girls do not want (in general) to lead an army and vanquish the enemy as many boys dream of doing, they want to ride big beautiful muscular horses and have these beasts obey their every wish. They want to be the all powerful ‘Mommy’ and control every aspect of their play family’s life. And yes, REAL women even have sexually dominant fantasies about us! (Lucky us if we can help channel it!)

IN FACT!!!! JUST as I was editing this entry for publication RIGHT NOW (yes it was all written before I added this section), a lady I know on Facebook shared THIS picture. Ha Ha Big Joke... (Oh you think it was just one or two women involved in this big joke? When I downloaded this picture, it had already been shared FOURTEEN THOUSAND times and had over TWENTY THOUSAND COMMENTS! Hmm, this could be a fun little side business for some of us...)

Personally, I like the light blue feminine looking sneakers propped up on the left side of the photo. Looks like "Momma" is sitting back and enjoying the show!

Big Joke Having A Sexy Man Submissively Cleaning Your House, Or Is It?

I think that things like this are considered a 'big joke' only because the women find them "too good to be true"! I think that MOST women would at least at some level ABSOLUTELY LOVE to own a guy like this! Yes, LOTS OF women DO DREAM about dominating guys and having us do chores for them!

Now gentlemen, it is your duty to go MAKE (at least some) of this true for the lady you love! Make your male servitude acceptable to her, and she will LOVE YOU TO PIECES!

Like men with submissive fantasies, women feel a certain level of guilt about their dominant fantasies. I don’t think women get as obsessive about this as we do, but then that’s true about a lot of things, however it doesn’t mean that they don’t have them either or that they don't feel guilty about having them.

So like an announcer on an old TV game show might say “I think we have a match!” So why don’t we have many ‘matches’? Why don't we simply have more men happily serving and adoring women who LOVE to be bossy and relax while 'her sweet hubby' does the chores and reveres her? I mean that sounds like heaven to me!

We still have a lot of women out there living frustrated lives where they don’t feel loved or appreciated. And we all know that there are a large number of very frustrated submissive males out there BEGGING to be dominated by a powerful female.

So can we bridge this gap?

I think that we can. Of course I can only speak from the male viewpoint here and I would love to hear a woman comment on the other side of this after I am done, but yes we men can help to bridge that gap ourselves.

The first step for any of us in bridging this gap is to simply attract women TOWARD you. Make yourself attractive to them and make ladies in general be happy to be around you and you will have taken your first positive step in 'finding the proper thumb for you to live under forever more.'

Mystery Date - The Little Girl's Game That Should Serve As A Neon Guidepost For Us!

When I was young, there was a board game for girls called “Mystery Date”. Yes it was a silly game for little girls to gush over “Mr. Dream Boat” and all go “Ewwww!!!! Gross!!!” over some ‘lesser date’ that they all wanted to avoid. I frankly think they used the same male models for both types of shots and just dressed the attractive ones better and gave them more confident and attractive poses than the ‘losers’ got.

Check out the two pictures I posted here of the Winning Date and the Losing Date. I bet that if the 'Losing Date' shaved, got cleaned up, put on a new suit, stood up straight, and held a bouquet of roses all the girls would gush over him too! 

Anyone else see where I am going yet?

OK, it’s a child’s game, but as I have talked about before, the games one sex plays when they are young are a big window into their hearts and souls. Later in life such blatant behavior gets covered in layers of societal messages about how we ‘should act’. But the girls who played this game were sending us strong signals about what they really wanted. Yes it’s all very surface. It does not even approach the depth of what the real person is all about. 

Her Dream Date! Can you be more like him?

HOWEVER, think of your own reaction to a female that pays zero attention to her ‘surface’. Are you attracted to her? Do you want to get to know the real person inside? She might be awesome! But it is unlikely that she will attract enough attention from guys to find some of the really great guys who are out there. 

Mystery Date Loser - Ewwwwwwwwww!!!! Gross!!!!

Now, turn it around. “Uooohhh!!! Sexual Role Reversal!!! Uooohh!!! HOT!!!!”

Well a little, but I am not asking you to dress like a sexy girl and try to be a pretty cross dresser. Studies have shown that more women are interested in men who groom and dress well and look like men, than men who primp and swish and look like women. (Well it was my own study… But that means that you can trust it!)

Biggest thing I could take away from “Mystery Date” was that girls went all dreamy eyed over guys who dressed nicely and held themselves confidently with a smile on their face. And since at least to ME it seemed that they used the same models for the good and bad pictures that no matter who you are now, you can look better to the ladies if you put out a little effort! You could be a ‘stone cold fox’ of a dude, or you could be a dud but if you put a little effort into your packaging you will be MORE attractive than you would be otherwise.

It’s called ‘be attractive to the opposite sex’. Girls do it. At least the girls that guys find ATTRACTIVE do it. Now it’s your turn. So yeah I guess we have started down the ‘sexual role reversal’ road again. Enjoy! Oh and this is not a ONE TIME THING. You don’t play dress up one time to get a first date with your future wife and then go back to being a bum. You put out an effort from now on. Impress the one you ‘belong too’. She will enjoy checking you out AND she will enjoy seeing other women checking you out even in her presence and knowing that SHE is the one that will be taking you home afterward. And if she sees other women regularly checking you out, she will make sure that that is all they get a chance to do and she will make every effort to make you happy and/or control your every moment and every breath to make SURE that only she continues to own you! (Hmm, not a bad deal for a subby hubby in either case. Powerful, Confident, Possessive Women, who want possession of me? Yum!)

Yes women are more like us that anyone lets on. Guys love to be seen with a beautiful lady.  It raises our self esteem. Girls love to be seen holding the arm of a ‘hunk’. That raises her self esteem.

For YEARS I wondered if I was the only one who thought taking clues from “Mystery Date” would make me a bigger hit with the ladies… I just didn’t understand how a neon sign over the city like that could be missed, but I think it was by most.

In an earlier entry I talked about bearing. How do you carry yourself? Are you in a hurry? Are you angry all the time? Do you look harried and worried? Or do you glide with confidence and a quiet joy in your heart and in your step?

 

Walking with the right ‘bearing’ will take practice, but it is worth it. And if you mess up, it’s OK! Just go right back to both the image you want to project and the way you want to be and be seen.

Walk tall! Lengthen your spine and walk with your chin up. Have your shoulders back and your chest out. Remember that you are a ‘class act’. Ever seen a really ‘classy lady’ walk? Think Grace Kelly. She walked with ease and kept her spine proudly but not arrogantly erect with her chin held high. She didn’t look down on people, but people looked up to her.

 

The Magnificent And Classy Grace Kelly - Always Natural Royalty

Keep a smile on your face! Whatever emotion you project outwardly will be reflected back to you. If you look depressed or angry, you will get a measure of depression and anger returned to you. And people in general will try to avoid your company! Smile, look confident, and be helpful. People will seek you out. Both sexes will seek you out. They may not say it but they will think “Oh that Joe! I love being around him. He always has a smile on his face, and a kind and encouraging word for everyone he meets!” People LOVE to be around happy people.

Woman have been ‘encouraged’ to smile and walk gracefully for a long time now. I suppose it’s’ all part of a patriarchal society. Some have felt put upon to do it all day every day. That’s not healthy if it is too much, but add a little sunshine when you can and the world will smile with you.

Besides we are taking another step down that sexual role reversal road now, isn’t this fun!?

Don’t ogle women! I’ve said this numerous times already. Doing that just makes them uncomfortable. The last thing you want is for women to be uncomfortable around you! Be a classy guy instead. As BEAUTIFUL AND IRRESISTIBLE as she is do not stare. Instead look straight ahead as if she were not there. If she boldly decides to make contact (even just eye contact) confidently and graciously acknowledge the honor. Otherwise just pass on by. Classy guys and gals always have a purpose. If you are walking somewhere it is because you are going to do something when you get there. You are not in a hurry because you have planned your time out well. But you are not an idler either. You have a purpose. So walk with purpose but do so with grace. 

Remember, you always have a purpose to what you are doing and where you are going. Don't meander or look lost or without purpose. But never be in a hurry. Being in a hurry means being out of control. Move toward your destination but be happy to stop and chat with someone or help them out. Be just a 'little' aloof and unapproachable looking, but there is no reason to be an ice berg either! 

This is advice that works when you are out grocery shopping. (I LOVE GROCERY SHOPPING!!! The stores are FILLED with women!) It also works at home. You are going out to sweep the kitchen floor, but Mistress wants a word with you. You are moving quietly and with purpose, but you stop and smile. Your mind and your heart are open to her comments. Maybe she wants you to do something different. If so, you smile and go do it. If not you listen actively, possibly complimenting her on something, her thoughtful comment, her good idea, her outfit, who knows what.. Then you happily return to your previous purpose until finished or called away by her again.

Now comes the fun part of this exercise. Women will be ogling you! You are well dressed, you look important, handsome, and you even look friendly but maybe you are just a tiny bit out of her league. As you pass by women, they often become interested. (Don't flatter yourself. Not all of them! Sheesh! But if it's just ONE, it is a blessing - be thankful for it!) 

Women will sneak furtive glimpses at you. Some will flat out stare. Simply enjoy. With my chin up, spine lengthened, shoulders back and chest out I have on a number of occasions experienced what women go through with men staring at their chests. An extreme example happened a couple of weeks ago. I was at a restaurant in the company of Her Majesty. We were waiting to be seated and we strolled by the bar. A very attractive young woman seated there must have had a couple drinks in her, and as we passed I was in full shoulders back, chest out mode. She turned and glimpsed. Then I guess she liked what she saw and she just leaned back with her somewhat intoxicated eyes riveted on my chest. She eventually caught herself and gave me a sheepish smile. I smiled back and nodded my thanks to her. Frankly the rare incident like that really motivates me to carry myself well and dress well all the time! I am not going to act on it and ask her for her number or anything like that, but I would be lying if I did not tell you that I enjoyed the attention. And if this isn’t fantasy fulfillment I don’t know what is!

At this point it is important for you to be cool. As I said, if eye contact is made, STAY CONFIDENT. It is now YOU who are the object of attention and she who is the actor. It is now YOU who have been found to be the 'eye candy'. Do not blush and shy away. Stand tall and simply smile back at her. You can nod a little to acknowledge her or say “Hello” and do your best to set her at ease about what has just happened. Think Cary Grant here. I have seen him do this in movies before and it is behavior that I am happy to emulate.

Cary Grant - AKA Mr. Style

Practice! The more you keep your bearing in mind, the more opportunities you will have and yes, the more times women will be checking out your butt! ;) Insert "Submissive male giggles like a school girl." here. If you get all flustered and blow it, don’t worry just try it again next time!

OK, a lot of what I have just covered are things I talked about in my first few entries. If you want to read more of what I said about dressing well, or carrying yourself like a class act check those earlier entries.

Now that we have all become cute, yet distinctly masculine “cup cakes” for the ladies how do we move to the next phase of our transition to a more joyfully matriarchal lifestyle? Well actually this is a pretty big jump for most guys already. If you have done all of this up to this point, you have already moved down the road of ‘sexual role reversal’ from actor to object! This does not make you a ‘slave’ or an underling. But it puts you out there for the WOMEN to check out and act upon. This is a BIG first step for most guys.

I couldn't recount how many guys I knew when I was young who would ask me to help them 'get a girl friend'. My first question was 'Look in the mirror. Do you see something the average girl would be interested in, just on the surface?' I was not trying to put them down at all, but was just encouraging them to think what would a girl want, instead of what do I want?

My next step was to encourage them to 'update the current package' to make it a little more attractive. Buy some nice new clothes that fit well and make you look sharp. Eliminate any unusual hair or facial hair styles that might not be seen as attractive, etc...
Simple advice. Some took it and usually did OK. For others, asking them to change themselves was just too much and well they did what they did and got what they got. Only the individual can decide what is worth it for themselves and what is not.

Now that you are all pretty and the ladies are paying more attention to you than ever before, you hopefully will either be married or dating, or one of these ladies you passed so well dressed and classy looking started a conversation with you and now you have set up a first date with her! NICE! This is the road to us truly becoming a ladies property which seems to be the true end of this exercise!

The next step is to introduce her to your fem-dom porn collection right and ask her to spank you? Uh no. Put that shit AWAY!And shut your mouth! Try to be "NORMAL" for one night please!

No. The next step is to practice LISTENING TO HER! Shocker! Women talk more than we do. No surprise. Women often talk not to get to the logical solution of a problem like we do but to BE VALIDATED! First listen. Listen to her concerns and stories not to be able to solve her problem, but to VALIDATE HER!

Now, don't you feel cheap? Good! You Deserve To You Desperate Little Boy Whore!

She may want other parts of you later but the first part she probably needs is your ear. Listen actively. Speak maybe 10% of the time early on. And that should be used mostly to draw her out and encourage her to tell you more. Of course if this is a first date you may need to be a little more active to let her know that you are not actually dead, but as much as possible draw her out to speak. There is an old saying that a boor is someone who talks about themselves and a brilliant conversationalist is someone who talks about me!

AND of course there is always the possibility on a first date that you can hear enough to say “Uh she is not for me.” Be kind. Be gentle. But don’t string her along. She may not be for you, but she is still a lady and you need to show respect for that in and of itself.

If you listen well to her, you will hear what she wants in life and what she wants in a man. Now if this IS the woman for you, start to make those little changes in yourself that will move you closer to being that man that she wants! Does she want a ‘home body’ or a party animal? What type of music, movies, politics is she interested in? (OH really. Do not talk politics or religion! We should all know that by now. That is the instant road to OUT THE DOOR.) But if she really is the one, then modify as much as you are comfortable your tastes and habits to make her feel more comfortable with you. Some of these things are core to us and would be deal breakers, a lot of them are well far less important than pleasing the love of our lives and drawing her nearer. Trust me if they are not really deal breakers, then you will both eventually grow together on these opinions anyway.

OK you have not been tied up and whipped yet like you wanted, but you have suffered through HOURS of listening to a woman talk and you have been totally docile. That’s LIKE Fem-domme torture right? Wait! We are just getting started!

In Part 3 I am going to get down to a more intimate level of making our dreams of female control a real life 24/7 relationship and a foundation of joy for both. So bear with me. But start practicing what you’ve been preached today. Dress right, walk right, (be classy but cute) and become her sounding board. I think that your own reality will improve quickly as you start to DRAW women and their womanly energy into your life instead of repelling it.