Reality - The Road To Joy – Part 2

Drawing women and their womanly energy TOWARD you instead of away.

In Part 1 I talked about trying to bridge the gap between the incredibly persistent and very powerful fantasy life that many of us have about female dominance and the reality of our lives. At the same time we find these fantasies really humiliating and not only would we die of shame if our friends and family saw us performing these acts, we would be mortified if they just caught us cruising the web just looking at PICTURES of this stuff!

Total Female Domination and Humiliation, A Dream Come True? In REAL LIFE, Maybe Not So much...

 

I believe that these fantasies are SO STRONG within us (and many many other men! You are not uniquely weird. Weird yes. Unique no.)  because we are suppressing them. As individuals we suppress them and as a society we suppress everything that supports them! Sexual fetishism obviously is suppressed in public and probably for good reasons. But so is real and personal female empowerment. 

We seem able nowadays to accept women with advanced degrees and even women who have climbed the corporate ladder. But it is still a jump to openly in public accept that a woman can be ‘the boss’ at home, or that a man should dedicate himself to service, even obedience to her.

If you push hard enough in one direction, (suppression of female power over us and our natural desire to surrender to it) something will pop out somewhere else (harsh dramatic fantasies of degradation, pain, and humiliation).

It’s probably not the healthiest way to live with our minds and souls divided like that.

I also went over some of the ways that we have misread female desires, dreams, and fantasies in the past as well. While most girls do not want (in general) to lead an army and vanquish the enemy as many boys dream of doing, they want to ride big beautiful muscular horses and have these beasts obey their every wish. They want to be the all powerful ‘Mommy’ and control every aspect of their play family’s life. And yes, REAL women even have sexually dominant fantasies about us! (Lucky us if we can help channel it!)

IN FACT!!!! JUST as I was editing this entry for publication RIGHT NOW (yes it was all written before I added this section), a lady I know on Facebook shared THIS picture. Ha Ha Big Joke... (Oh you think it was just one or two women involved in this big joke? When I downloaded this picture, it had already been shared FOURTEEN THOUSAND times and had over TWENTY THOUSAND COMMENTS! Hmm, this could be a fun little side business for some of us...)

Personally, I like the light blue feminine looking sneakers propped up on the left side of the photo. Looks like "Momma" is sitting back and enjoying the show!

Big Joke Having A Sexy Man Submissively Cleaning Your House, Or Is It?

I think that things like this are considered a 'big joke' only because the women find them "too good to be true"! I think that MOST women would at least at some level ABSOLUTELY LOVE to own a guy like this! Yes, LOTS OF women DO DREAM about dominating guys and having us do chores for them!

Now gentlemen, it is your duty to go MAKE (at least some) of this true for the lady you love! Make your male servitude acceptable to her, and she will LOVE YOU TO PIECES!

Like men with submissive fantasies, women feel a certain level of guilt about their dominant fantasies. I don’t think women get as obsessive about this as we do, but then that’s true about a lot of things, however it doesn’t mean that they don’t have them either or that they don't feel guilty about having them.

So like an announcer on an old TV game show might say “I think we have a match!” So why don’t we have many ‘matches’? Why don't we simply have more men happily serving and adoring women who LOVE to be bossy and relax while 'her sweet hubby' does the chores and reveres her? I mean that sounds like heaven to me!

We still have a lot of women out there living frustrated lives where they don’t feel loved or appreciated. And we all know that there are a large number of very frustrated submissive males out there BEGGING to be dominated by a powerful female.

So can we bridge this gap?

I think that we can. Of course I can only speak from the male viewpoint here and I would love to hear a woman comment on the other side of this after I am done, but yes we men can help to bridge that gap ourselves.

The first step for any of us in bridging this gap is to simply attract women TOWARD you. Make yourself attractive to them and make ladies in general be happy to be around you and you will have taken your first positive step in 'finding the proper thumb for you to live under forever more.'

Mystery Date - The Little Girl's Game That Should Serve As A Neon Guidepost For Us!

When I was young, there was a board game for girls called “Mystery Date”. Yes it was a silly game for little girls to gush over “Mr. Dream Boat” and all go “Ewwww!!!! Gross!!!” over some ‘lesser date’ that they all wanted to avoid. I frankly think they used the same male models for both types of shots and just dressed the attractive ones better and gave them more confident and attractive poses than the ‘losers’ got.

Check out the two pictures I posted here of the Winning Date and the Losing Date. I bet that if the 'Losing Date' shaved, got cleaned up, put on a new suit, stood up straight, and held a bouquet of roses all the girls would gush over him too! 

Anyone else see where I am going yet?

OK, it’s a child’s game, but as I have talked about before, the games one sex plays when they are young are a big window into their hearts and souls. Later in life such blatant behavior gets covered in layers of societal messages about how we ‘should act’. But the girls who played this game were sending us strong signals about what they really wanted. Yes it’s all very surface. It does not even approach the depth of what the real person is all about. 

Her Dream Date! Can you be more like him?

HOWEVER, think of your own reaction to a female that pays zero attention to her ‘surface’. Are you attracted to her? Do you want to get to know the real person inside? She might be awesome! But it is unlikely that she will attract enough attention from guys to find some of the really great guys who are out there. 

Mystery Date Loser - Ewwwwwwwwww!!!! Gross!!!!

Now, turn it around. “Uooohhh!!! Sexual Role Reversal!!! Uooohh!!! HOT!!!!”

Well a little, but I am not asking you to dress like a sexy girl and try to be a pretty cross dresser. Studies have shown that more women are interested in men who groom and dress well and look like men, than men who primp and swish and look like women. (Well it was my own study… But that means that you can trust it!)

Biggest thing I could take away from “Mystery Date” was that girls went all dreamy eyed over guys who dressed nicely and held themselves confidently with a smile on their face. And since at least to ME it seemed that they used the same models for the good and bad pictures that no matter who you are now, you can look better to the ladies if you put out a little effort! You could be a ‘stone cold fox’ of a dude, or you could be a dud but if you put a little effort into your packaging you will be MORE attractive than you would be otherwise.

It’s called ‘be attractive to the opposite sex’. Girls do it. At least the girls that guys find ATTRACTIVE do it. Now it’s your turn. So yeah I guess we have started down the ‘sexual role reversal’ road again. Enjoy! Oh and this is not a ONE TIME THING. You don’t play dress up one time to get a first date with your future wife and then go back to being a bum. You put out an effort from now on. Impress the one you ‘belong too’. She will enjoy checking you out AND she will enjoy seeing other women checking you out even in her presence and knowing that SHE is the one that will be taking you home afterward. And if she sees other women regularly checking you out, she will make sure that that is all they get a chance to do and she will make every effort to make you happy and/or control your every moment and every breath to make SURE that only she continues to own you! (Hmm, not a bad deal for a subby hubby in either case. Powerful, Confident, Possessive Women, who want possession of me? Yum!)

Yes women are more like us that anyone lets on. Guys love to be seen with a beautiful lady.  It raises our self esteem. Girls love to be seen holding the arm of a ‘hunk’. That raises her self esteem.

For YEARS I wondered if I was the only one who thought taking clues from “Mystery Date” would make me a bigger hit with the ladies… I just didn’t understand how a neon sign over the city like that could be missed, but I think it was by most.

In an earlier entry I talked about bearing. How do you carry yourself? Are you in a hurry? Are you angry all the time? Do you look harried and worried? Or do you glide with confidence and a quiet joy in your heart and in your step?

 

Walking with the right ‘bearing’ will take practice, but it is worth it. And if you mess up, it’s OK! Just go right back to both the image you want to project and the way you want to be and be seen.

Walk tall! Lengthen your spine and walk with your chin up. Have your shoulders back and your chest out. Remember that you are a ‘class act’. Ever seen a really ‘classy lady’ walk? Think Grace Kelly. She walked with ease and kept her spine proudly but not arrogantly erect with her chin held high. She didn’t look down on people, but people looked up to her.

 

The Magnificent And Classy Grace Kelly - Always Natural Royalty

Keep a smile on your face! Whatever emotion you project outwardly will be reflected back to you. If you look depressed or angry, you will get a measure of depression and anger returned to you. And people in general will try to avoid your company! Smile, look confident, and be helpful. People will seek you out. Both sexes will seek you out. They may not say it but they will think “Oh that Joe! I love being around him. He always has a smile on his face, and a kind and encouraging word for everyone he meets!” People LOVE to be around happy people.

Woman have been ‘encouraged’ to smile and walk gracefully for a long time now. I suppose it’s’ all part of a patriarchal society. Some have felt put upon to do it all day every day. That’s not healthy if it is too much, but add a little sunshine when you can and the world will smile with you.

Besides we are taking another step down that sexual role reversal road now, isn’t this fun!?

Don’t ogle women! I’ve said this numerous times already. Doing that just makes them uncomfortable. The last thing you want is for women to be uncomfortable around you! Be a classy guy instead. As BEAUTIFUL AND IRRESISTIBLE as she is do not stare. Instead look straight ahead as if she were not there. If she boldly decides to make contact (even just eye contact) confidently and graciously acknowledge the honor. Otherwise just pass on by. Classy guys and gals always have a purpose. If you are walking somewhere it is because you are going to do something when you get there. You are not in a hurry because you have planned your time out well. But you are not an idler either. You have a purpose. So walk with purpose but do so with grace. 

Remember, you always have a purpose to what you are doing and where you are going. Don't meander or look lost or without purpose. But never be in a hurry. Being in a hurry means being out of control. Move toward your destination but be happy to stop and chat with someone or help them out. Be just a 'little' aloof and unapproachable looking, but there is no reason to be an ice berg either! 

This is advice that works when you are out grocery shopping. (I LOVE GROCERY SHOPPING!!! The stores are FILLED with women!) It also works at home. You are going out to sweep the kitchen floor, but Mistress wants a word with you. You are moving quietly and with purpose, but you stop and smile. Your mind and your heart are open to her comments. Maybe she wants you to do something different. If so, you smile and go do it. If not you listen actively, possibly complimenting her on something, her thoughtful comment, her good idea, her outfit, who knows what.. Then you happily return to your previous purpose until finished or called away by her again.

Now comes the fun part of this exercise. Women will be ogling you! You are well dressed, you look important, handsome, and you even look friendly but maybe you are just a tiny bit out of her league. As you pass by women, they often become interested. (Don't flatter yourself. Not all of them! Sheesh! But if it's just ONE, it is a blessing - be thankful for it!) 

Women will sneak furtive glimpses at you. Some will flat out stare. Simply enjoy. With my chin up, spine lengthened, shoulders back and chest out I have on a number of occasions experienced what women go through with men staring at their chests. An extreme example happened a couple of weeks ago. I was at a restaurant in the company of Her Majesty. We were waiting to be seated and we strolled by the bar. A very attractive young woman seated there must have had a couple drinks in her, and as we passed I was in full shoulders back, chest out mode. She turned and glimpsed. Then I guess she liked what she saw and she just leaned back with her somewhat intoxicated eyes riveted on my chest. She eventually caught herself and gave me a sheepish smile. I smiled back and nodded my thanks to her. Frankly the rare incident like that really motivates me to carry myself well and dress well all the time! I am not going to act on it and ask her for her number or anything like that, but I would be lying if I did not tell you that I enjoyed the attention. And if this isn’t fantasy fulfillment I don’t know what is!

At this point it is important for you to be cool. As I said, if eye contact is made, STAY CONFIDENT. It is now YOU who are the object of attention and she who is the actor. It is now YOU who have been found to be the 'eye candy'. Do not blush and shy away. Stand tall and simply smile back at her. You can nod a little to acknowledge her or say “Hello” and do your best to set her at ease about what has just happened. Think Cary Grant here. I have seen him do this in movies before and it is behavior that I am happy to emulate.

Cary Grant - AKA Mr. Style

Practice! The more you keep your bearing in mind, the more opportunities you will have and yes, the more times women will be checking out your butt! ;) Insert "Submissive male giggles like a school girl." here. If you get all flustered and blow it, don’t worry just try it again next time!

OK, a lot of what I have just covered are things I talked about in my first few entries. If you want to read more of what I said about dressing well, or carrying yourself like a class act check those earlier entries.

Now that we have all become cute, yet distinctly masculine “cup cakes” for the ladies how do we move to the next phase of our transition to a more joyfully matriarchal lifestyle? Well actually this is a pretty big jump for most guys already. If you have done all of this up to this point, you have already moved down the road of ‘sexual role reversal’ from actor to object! This does not make you a ‘slave’ or an underling. But it puts you out there for the WOMEN to check out and act upon. This is a BIG first step for most guys.

I couldn't recount how many guys I knew when I was young who would ask me to help them 'get a girl friend'. My first question was 'Look in the mirror. Do you see something the average girl would be interested in, just on the surface?' I was not trying to put them down at all, but was just encouraging them to think what would a girl want, instead of what do I want?

My next step was to encourage them to 'update the current package' to make it a little more attractive. Buy some nice new clothes that fit well and make you look sharp. Eliminate any unusual hair or facial hair styles that might not be seen as attractive, etc...
Simple advice. Some took it and usually did OK. For others, asking them to change themselves was just too much and well they did what they did and got what they got. Only the individual can decide what is worth it for themselves and what is not.

Now that you are all pretty and the ladies are paying more attention to you than ever before, you hopefully will either be married or dating, or one of these ladies you passed so well dressed and classy looking started a conversation with you and now you have set up a first date with her! NICE! This is the road to us truly becoming a ladies property which seems to be the true end of this exercise!

The next step is to introduce her to your fem-dom porn collection right and ask her to spank you? Uh no. Put that shit AWAY!And shut your mouth! Try to be "NORMAL" for one night please!

No. The next step is to practice LISTENING TO HER! Shocker! Women talk more than we do. No surprise. Women often talk not to get to the logical solution of a problem like we do but to BE VALIDATED! First listen. Listen to her concerns and stories not to be able to solve her problem, but to VALIDATE HER!

Now, don't you feel cheap? Good! You Deserve To You Desperate Little Boy Whore!

She may want other parts of you later but the first part she probably needs is your ear. Listen actively. Speak maybe 10% of the time early on. And that should be used mostly to draw her out and encourage her to tell you more. Of course if this is a first date you may need to be a little more active to let her know that you are not actually dead, but as much as possible draw her out to speak. There is an old saying that a boor is someone who talks about themselves and a brilliant conversationalist is someone who talks about me!

AND of course there is always the possibility on a first date that you can hear enough to say “Uh she is not for me.” Be kind. Be gentle. But don’t string her along. She may not be for you, but she is still a lady and you need to show respect for that in and of itself.

If you listen well to her, you will hear what she wants in life and what she wants in a man. Now if this IS the woman for you, start to make those little changes in yourself that will move you closer to being that man that she wants! Does she want a ‘home body’ or a party animal? What type of music, movies, politics is she interested in? (OH really. Do not talk politics or religion! We should all know that by now. That is the instant road to OUT THE DOOR.) But if she really is the one, then modify as much as you are comfortable your tastes and habits to make her feel more comfortable with you. Some of these things are core to us and would be deal breakers, a lot of them are well far less important than pleasing the love of our lives and drawing her nearer. Trust me if they are not really deal breakers, then you will both eventually grow together on these opinions anyway.

OK you have not been tied up and whipped yet like you wanted, but you have suffered through HOURS of listening to a woman talk and you have been totally docile. That’s LIKE Fem-domme torture right? Wait! We are just getting started!

In Part 3 I am going to get down to a more intimate level of making our dreams of female control a real life 24/7 relationship and a foundation of joy for both. So bear with me. But start practicing what you’ve been preached today. Dress right, walk right, (be classy but cute) and become her sounding board. I think that your own reality will improve quickly as you start to DRAW women and their womanly energy into your life instead of repelling it.

Reality - The Road To Joy - Part 1

As I write this entry I have to tell you that I have been feeling pretty euphoric of late. I am almost certain that I am imagining things and this CAN’T really be as good as it is, but it sure feels that way. 

I feel like my woman really LOVES me. I feel that women in general really enjoy my company. I feel totally overwhelmed with blessings.

This has not always been the case with me and I think the same could probably be said for most of us who harbor feelings of downright adulation for females and hold them in higher esteem than we do ourselves.

Much of my life I have of course fantasized about powerful women and dreamed of having them dominate me. These dreams and fantasies have obviously been powered by images from movies, TV shows, magazines, and now the internet.

The dream is always the extreme 24/7 version of male servitude and female supremacy. I grovel and beg and lick her boots. She (or better a large group of she’s) in turn snarl at me, heap scorn upon me and whip my naked and helpless ass. 

Amazon Capture And Humiliation - Every REAL Man's DREAM! (Well it's mine so it must be...)

At different points in my life I attempted to duplicate various parts of this dream as the only possible road to my fulfillment. I asked girl friends to spank me or dominate me in some fashion. Some cooperated for a time. Some had fun with it a few times but after a while it just seemed too weird for them and they distanced themselves from me and we broke up. Most women just thought I was a sicko and things slowly went downhill in our relationships after that. Yet I persevered! 

OMG! That is SO SICK!

Yet in my heart I also felt great shame. I felt unworthy to be loved by a woman BECAUSE I worshiped and adored them so much! I would make eye contact with a woman and instantly shift away in shame as she returned it. I knew that she had ‘caught me’ staring at her and I was not worthy.

For many, many years, I would see a woman and as she 'caught me' looking at her quickly averted my unworthy eyes. I just KNEW that she was thinking "What a creep! He just wants ONE THING! Disgusting men! All he wants is to use me sexually and throw me away! Pig!" Actually the ONE THING I wanted was to fall on my hands and knees and worship her, be taken home by her and made to serve as her slave forever more. But what I thought that they saw was a disgusting macho pervert.

What they probably did see was a guy who was so conflicted that his confidence was zero and seeing this they reacted properly under the circumstances. If I didn't have any confidence in myself then they shouldn't either."Look, if HE thinks he is a pervert, I bet that he is right!"

Yuck! Don't you DARE look at me you worm!

My attitude is MUCH different and MUCH healthier now. If I get 'caught' looking at a woman, I am already standing tall with my shoulders back and chest out, a light smile on my face and the instant she makes eye contact I flash a little more smile and maybe nod in acknowledgement. 

Guys, do NOT ogle women. But don't be ashamed if you make eye contact either! It was my lack of confidence that made them turn away. Now MOST of these women smile back sometimes a little self conscientiously as if to say "That man over their thinks I am pretty! I like that!"

And yes now I don't feel like I am unworthy to look upon women. If it happens and I am confident in my bearing, I now know my place in the universe and I feel very blessed and quite worthy to SERVE and ADORE women in the ways that they like it. Not only do I now feel WORTHY to serve and adore women, I feel that that is one of the reasons I was on Earth in the first place! I dress well. I carry myself well. I open doors for ladies. I pick things up if they happen to drop something. I smile for them. Do my best to be 'cute', and let them know that I respect them and LOVE being in their company. 

But back to my fantasy/reality dichotomy - my sexual drive wanted, no it DEMANDED female dominance or it would never be fulfilled. And frankly no female I ever met ever really wanted to do that. None. I was heart sick. I see this lament all the time on line. So many guys want to be submissive yet there seem to be no matching dominant women to take them up on it.

Or are there? 

Is true female dominance always a dominatrix in leather or latex who wants to be an aloof majestic bitch all the time, she makes you scrub the floor on your hands and knees for hours every day in the nude and frequently beat your ass with a kitchen spoon or a riding crop? Is that the hallmark of real female power today? 

 

Domestic Female Domination - OUCH! YUM! OUCH! YUM! Tears of Shame! Tears of Ecstasy!

Can such a relationship really exist and sustain itself?

Or is it more likely that what most of us are actually asking for is a kinky beat my ass and humiliate me part time relationship, where when it is over our Female Dominance dream woman makes us dinner and does the laundry while we watch TV and have a beer? These type of fantasy relationships that only last as long as there is intense kink remind me of porn because you get totally overwhelmed with feelings of love and desire, then once you have climaxed you almost immediately lose interest and move on.

Is this ‘fantasy’ really even possible? Or is it really destined to be a fantasy and nothing more?

If it can never be, then why do so many men feel this tremendous pull to have it happen? Why do so many men fantasize about it their whole lives through? 

Maybe just maybe, there IS a realistic solution. Maybe what we are seeing in our dreams and searching for online without ceasing is just a shadow of the reality that can be our newer happier lives. Just maybe what we are dreaming about is an extreme version of what we really seek that IS healthy and happy and wonderful and doable. Since we suppress the thoughts and expressions of female ‘leadership’ or female ‘reverence’ so harshly in our everyday lives (maybe not us specifically but PLENTY of men do in our presence regularly - and I have a quarter that says those who put women down the hardest have some of the MOST VIVID female dominant fantasy lives around!) without even thinking about it that we have ended up creating a leather clad monster to both worship and torment us all of our lives. The more anyone suppresses something the harder it comes back somewhere else.

So my guess is that if there was more female domestic empowerment and a more open and accepting environment for it in our every day lives, the natural instincts to say 'Yes Ma'am' and to do some chores to make her happy, and bring her something to eat or drink, or sit quietly and adoringly and listen to her for hours would simply flow from us without a second thought and the drastic dominant, humiliating fantasies we have would vanish as we were no longer suppressing our dreams and making them stronger.

We read about and see for ourselves examples of modern women’s empowerment throughout society. We see the ladies getting more advanced degrees in college than the guys do. We see them moving up the corporate ladder like never before. Yet we STILL see women, grown women treated like children to be laughed at or have their opinions ignored when they take leadership positions. 

We are all familiar with the image of the angry man hating feminist who has had it with us, and frankly I am surprised the number of them is not higher if we are still doing the things we do to them as I imagine we are. Infantilisation is a real issue. Just watch how men treat other men with an opinion and how they treat a woman with just as valid an opinion. The men are generally listened too and the women and scorned. Their ideas are belittled, and they are treated like they are little children to be patronized.

I read a book a few years back by Naomi Wolfe (I believe it was The Beauty Myth - but I may be wrong) about women and power. She said some very interesting things on the subject. We say that girls do not dream about being in control because of the toys they choose and the games they play. Instead of a war plane or a big construction crane, they play with dolls and pretend to be the mommy. Only they pretend to be the VERY BIG Mommy who makes everyone in the family do EXACTLY what mommy wants them to do when and how Mommy wants them to do it! 

Ever 'play house' with a little girl and her dolls. Most of them are pretty clear about the roles and they are the ones who make things happen. You are there to 'assist' them. If you break out of the role she has assigned you for the game, you will be 'put straight' in a hurry. And I am talking about four and five year old girls here! They are the boss of play time just like they are the boss in the game they are playing just like the real dream of control of the family they will run one day.

Small Dolls in the Dollhouse, a Princess in a Tiara, and a Pink Pony to ride – 3 symbols of the Power Dreams of Most Girls

And yes, girls do love horses. They love the big sleek powerful animals that they can get on top of and control. In many ways horses resemble the man who will be in their lives later. The message I got from all this was that girls DO dream about control and about power. It just manifests itself in a different way than what we would expect from boys. 

Another good book that I (very secretly) read back in the early 90s was Dr. Nancy Friday's book about Female Sexual Fantasies and how they have changed through the years. She is a clinical psychologist and over the years she wrote that the fantasies of women have grown more and more aggressive and more dominant as their positions in society have become more power wielding. It was titled "Women On Top". With a title like that how could I resist sneaking away with a copy to feed my own submissive fantasy machine!?

FANTASY ALERT START!

I found this book to be SMOKING HOT! While most of the fantasies were not as extreme as men generally have, some of them were SO HOT and SO DOMINANT that I well, uh, well I ENJOYED reading them. That's what it was. I ENJOYED reading them yeah... I found them very educational and sometimes I ENJOY remembering reading them still...

I recall a couple of them distinctly - One was about a woman waiting for a man to come to her place and ask her to marry him. When he arrived she yelled at him for being late. She grabbed him by the ear, bent him over the back of her couch, pulled down his pants and whipped his ass raw with his own belt while he blubbered his hapless apologies to her. 

Then because he was not a proper virgin groom (proper virgin male bride?), she dragged him to the bathtub and with scalding hot water and a hard wooden kitchen brush she 'SCRUBBED ALL THOSE OTHER WOMEN RIGHT OUT OF HIS SYSTEM". She burned him with that water and scraped his skin all painfully raw with that brush. After he was reduced to a sobbing, terrified apology machine she put on his ring, took him by the ear to bed and ABUSED him AGAIN in there too!

Uh - Utterly Submissive male BOING! I mean WHERE WAS THIS WOMAN WHEN I WAS LOOKING!!?

Another was about a woman who had bought a male sex slave who had been abused and repeatedly raped with broom handles by his previous female owner and her sadistic friends. She gently restored his health by taking him to all female doctors who all had to inspect his damaged anus over and over again. She held him while he cowered and trembled in fear of them. She gently brought him back to health and settled his fears. But this was all while they both knew that she was preparing him for her own use because he was so pretty, so cute, and so helpless.

Uhhhhh - tender and just a little frightened 'schhhhhwing'!

FANTASY ALERT END!

In the West today we live in a society where men are TOLD to be in control, but it is also a world where women WANT to be in control. And to an extent both are frustrated by the reality of it all. 

I have been in a position where everyone was looking for me to lead day in and day out and make all the decisions and not only that but to come up with most of the solutions and drive their implementation as well. This went on non stop for a long period of time. Guess what? I got really tired of it.

I did a bang up job over that time frame I must say, but if that was to be my life 24/7 for the rest of my life, I would die early simply because I wanted too! I am just not that DRIVEN twenty four hours a day!

Now, put yourself in the position of a woman who has never had the reigns of command or has been sneered at or laughed at when she did take command no matter how well she did. I can imagine that she would be pretty pissed off and REALLY want to boss some people around and even take an amount of revenge out on total strangers for it. (HEY! Do you think that I could create a business where women in that position would pay to spank me, and yell at me, and make me apologize really sincerely over and over again? Uh well maybe not. But DAMN that was a sweet idea! "Oh Honey, I KNOW that you don't like to rent me out to these business women to spank me, and degrade me, but we really need the money and I do so want to buy you that new car and... OK yes Honey I'll be on time tonight in getting home! Yes I agree that you can spank me if I'm late again..." - <<Oh My! I do declare! I think I'm getting the vapors!>> )

And frankly have you ever seen a woman who gets to make fun of a man and especially her own husband? THEY LOVE IT! Usually it is all in good fun but they LOVE to make us squirm and they LOVE to make us blush and they LOVE to make us apologize. Really. The ones I know do. Oh they tone it back enough so that she doesn’t really damage the man's ego seriously, but they do it and they do it to the point of making us squirm a little. AND the guys that most women really LOVE to be around are the ones who seem to enjoy their ‘teasing’ too. (As long as he doesn’t go nuts and actually grovel. And as long as he ‘plays along’ with their games and doesn’t get angry about it. As the Buddha would say: "Seek ye the Middle Path".) 

Women LOVE to ‘tease’/ ‘play with’ guys. And the stronger and more capable the guy is the more they seem to love it! I can recall seeing JOHN WAYNE movies where this happens. He would be injured or sick or shot and Maureen O’Hara would nurse him back to health. But when he decides that he is OK to leave before he really is healthy, she bosses him around and treats him as if her were her five year old. 

Once he realizes how firm she is in her convictions and that she actually IS doing it for his own good, he smartly says “Yes Ma’am!” with a half embarrassed half ‘I am SO in LOVE” smile and she gives him the sternest (yet playful) look, then turns away just BEAMING about how she embarrassed and controlled him. YES! WOMEN LOVE TO BOSS US AROUND in the right settings. 

 

Look Pilgrim, If Mr Macho himself "John Wayne American" can be happy being Pussy Whipped So Can you! So Stop yer belly aching!

I cannot speak for female fantasies. I have never had one myself. But I would not be surprised if a LARGE number of women DREAM about being able to control one or more men and have them do as she says, without any of the sexual trappings of the whole whips and chains scene of course. This is because while women want to be in control, they also want to feel safe.

A sniveling worm will not make a woman feel safe. Would he stay with her for life? Would she want him to? Would he fight to protect her if it were needed? Would he actually sacrifice for her benefit? She can and probably should have serious doubts about all of this. Would he provide for her if the need arose and she could not? Maybe. But just as likely she is seeing him as just some kind of a weird ‘kinkster’ who would be off to the next bit of fun the minute that she was not fulfilling HIS every want and need.

So if the world is actually populated by a large percentage of men who’s every dream is about being controlled by a woman, and a large percentage of women who actually do dream about controlling men why can’t we all just get together and make each other happy?

Because as I said “I’m not so sure that the men who want female dominance want it for any more than an hour a week and then be waited on by a servile ‘little woman’.” They want the fantasy fulfillment but they don’t want to truly ‘own’ it.

And I am not so sure that the women who have powerful dreams themselves of Liberation and Empowerment really want to take on the full weight of leadership and still enjoy being the beautiful flower that her womanhood has given her as a gift. We tried the model of ‘Women Having It All’ in the 80s. What we got was a bunch of burned out women. Because ‘having it all’ meant DOING IT ALL. 

Is It 'Having It All' or 'Doing It All'?

These forty plus hour a week career women were also coming home to cook and clean every night of the week as well! And while she had changed from average 'house frau' to Wonder Woman, most of the men these women had married had not really changed much from the 1950s model. Yes the family had more money with dual full time incomes but most men were still living in the past couple of decades and didn’t feel the same urge to change things the way that she had. 

I think there is a bridge. I think that we can cross it. But it will take work, dedication, and certainly humility on our parts as men. In part 2, I will talk about what I have found to be a way to bridge that divide and find the real happiness and surrender that my soul had always yearned for.

What is my hobby? My hobby Is House Work Part 4

Now, I promised that I would take you through a typical weekend and how I approach the weekly house work. Generally on Saturday morning whether Her Majesty leaves for work or not I will rise shortly after 8am and strip the bed. Before I get any coffee or breakfast I start a laundry load with hot water for the bedding and any white socks, underwear, bras, etc that will fit in one load properly. 

Laundry takes TIME to run, so it must be started first. Once it is underway I will eat a light meal and have some coffee and check my email and whatever on the computer (well I do that when she is not home because basically the computer belongs to her on the weekend mornings when she is there. ) This brings me to pit fall #1 – internet surfing can be a HUGE time waster! Don’t sit there until noon avoiding doing your work! And I haven’t even mentioned internet porn. 

Keep yourself chaste for your Mistress, your Queen, your very Owner!! Being home alone with the internet is a dangerous time for the man who is on an honor chastity regimen! Get up and get started on your chores quickly! Remember that the ‘love energy’ you have growing within you belongs to her and not to you! So keep her foremost in your mind during this time.  Being home alone with the internet is as much of a danger time as being in bed alone or being in the shower. Be on guard and be strong. Sacrifice for her sake!

Once breakfast is done, I set to work on room number one. That is always the kitchen! You will spend more time in the kitchen than any other room because food is prepared there and messes always follow. Put any dishes away that ran in the dishwasher, and put any dirty ones you have in there. Next wipe off the counter tops. Try to catch all the crumbs but if some fall on the floor it’s OK you will sweep soon.

Around this time the first load of laundry will be done. Move it from the washer to the dryer. This is the time critical item of the day. The dryer takes more time than the washer and washed clothes should always be backed up waiting on the dryer so get the dryer going quickly. Once the dryer is running the whites, start filling the washer with cold water and detergent. (Put the detergent in as it fills. Don’t pour it on the clothes and burn them. Let it dissolve into the water as it fills. THEN put the clothes in when the washer is full.) 

If your house is like mine the bedrooms and the laundry room are at different ends of the house. So you will do some walking. A GOLDEN RULE for house work is “DO NOT WALK FROM ONE END OF THE HOUSE TO THE OTHER EMPTY HANDED!”

Think on that rule throughout your day because you will walk back and forth A LOT. And there are always things that need to move from one end to the other! ALWAYS! Cleaning supplies, laundry, trash bags, or just trash itself. 

Carry the empty laundry basket and something along with it to the back rooms.  Often I will grab something I will use later for bathroom cleaning. Fill the basket with colored clothes and take them to the laundry room.

 

Her Obedient Little 'Laundry Bunny'

Once that second load is underway, you should either continue your counter top work or if everything at hip level and above is clean start sweeping the floor! The kitchen floor takes more time and effort than any other surface in the house I think. It MUST be clean and it attracts food crumbs, dirt and just junk. Sweep it two or three times a week and wash it at least weekly. 

Now IF you are a really submissive scrubby hubby type washing the kitchen floor offers you the opportunity to indulge your cleaning and woman worshiping fantasies while you are doing something useful. There are probably a number of you reading this who have long dreamed of getting down on your hands and knees with a scrub brush and scrubbing that floor until it shines! 

Well here is the good news and the bad news, sometimes it actually NEEDS THAT! Now that is a task I reserve for when I am completely alone at home. Watching a man doing that is just TOO “Pussy Whipped” for most other people to handle including your Mistress and I would blush myself to death if someone else saw me doing that! But there are times when the dirt is so tracked onto it that no other way will clean it!

I don’t do it often but when I do, I really do get that warm glow of totally submissive service and of being owned! I work the brush HARD against that surface and I build up a good sweat before I am done and generally I can enjoy stiff back muscles the next day or two to remind me of my earlier subservient bliss! 

Mostly I just use a mop and a bucket with some pine cleaner in it. When that is done be careful about walking on that floor for a while. It is slippery and more so, it will attract any dirt your feet or shoes can carry. Generally when I clean house I do it in a t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts with bare feet. You know that old saying: “Men should be barefoot and doing housework at all times!” well anyway I WISH it were an old saying or at least a saying that is becoming popular now! So you guys get out there and promote it for me!

At this point the kitchen should look presentable. Depending upon circumstances you might want to bake some kind of snack or desert at this time. If it comes from a mix it takes little time and BOY when the Mistress comes home and her house is neat, clean, and pleasant and she can smell a freshly baked cake or a pan of brownies you have the opportunity for your Woman to feel content and HAPPY! If not, it can take longer and taste better! Either way. She may have had her doubts about you before but if you clean well AND BAKE FOR HER then you will be ALL HERS now! She will never want to let you go!

  

Bake Someone Happy

The next major chore now that the kitchen is in order is generally the bathrooms. This is usually the grossest and most degrading of the rooms to clean for obvious reasons women do not enjoy cleaning the bathroom. That makes this your golden opportunity to serve! 

I start my maintenance bathroom cleaning by using window wash on the mirror AND the faucet. Let the stuff sit on the faucet after you spray it there until you are done with the mirror. The nasty stuff like tooth paste may take a couple minutes to loosen. Then you can rub it clean.

Next clean off the sink top and counter and dust everything then use some Comet cleanser in the sink and on the surface. Rub it good with a sponge. Be careful to use the right amount. Too much makes a mess and too little does not clean anything. Now put things back in place all cleaned up. You will probably have to clean the soap dish and any toothbrush holder you have now. 

When you are done, wipe the whole area with a paper towel to remove any left-over grit. This is the way you can go from the average guy doing this to a higher level of service. Grit screams “Look at me! I JUST washed this and I did a half-assed job.” A smooth clean surface just says ‘class’ and 'service'.

Get rid of old chips of soap and replace them with a fresh bar.  I just throw ‘em out. Don’t try to be too economical. Make things look good. Few people are so poor that they can not afford a new bar of soap every couple of weeks.

Now How Did This Little Sweetie Get In Here!? I Mean I Would NEVER Fantasize About Dressing Like This And Scrubbing the Toilet... Well OK I Might Just A Little...

Next comes the big one. The toilet! This is the nastiest, most degrading job in the house. But by the looks of our picture it seems that SOME of you rather enjoy it! ;) Frankly along with scrubbing the kitchen floor and apparently ironing, there are no household tasks that the subby hubby dreams more about! Well good news! There are times when you DO have to get down on your hands and knees and scrub the inside of the bowl with your hands! LUCKY YOU!

The first step is to use some kind of industrial product to wash the surfaces down inside the bowl and under the water. I find the usual products make the water so darned blue I can’t see if it is clean or not at the bottom! So I start at the bottom and STILL I have to flush more than once because of this.

Many of you will have hard water stains in your toilet and the best way I have found to clean those is to use a pumice based scour stick. Here is a link on Amazon to buy them if you don’t have something like that already:

http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=scour+stick&tag=mh0b-20&index=aps&hvadid=1676149785&ref=pd_sl_5pfa3y44i6_e

This is the FUN part where you get down onto your knees and stick your hands and face into the bowl itself to clean it good! (Get the gross stuff out first though and just clean the water stains like this.)

If you have suffered from water stains for a while and you clean it like this, Mistress will be SO HAPPY that she won’t ever let you stop cleaning house for her! Lucky YOU!

Another thing that you can do to rid the toilet of hard water stains is to use vinegar on them. First clean the bowl as best you can using conventional methods. Then soak a bunch of paper towels in vinegar and stuff them up under the rim of the bowl. Let them sit there over night to work their magic. The next day remove them and scrub again. MUCH of the hard water issue can be solved in one of these two ways.

Next task is to wash the outside of the bowl and the floor down around and behind the toilet. Boy! If you are looking for a way to swallow your pride and feel like a domestic lackey, just try to keep that area truly clean from week to week. It is a definite an 'on your hands and knees' kind of job. I use Windex and a bunch of paper towels. 

Make sure you dust off the toilet paper holder. TP has a way of putting off a lot of dust and this is just one of those tiny details that add up to a good job.

If you plan it right when you wash the kitchen floor with the mop you can continue and mop the bathroom floors at the same time. I often wash the bathroom carpets and toilet covers and let them dry out back if it is a nice day.

We have two bathrooms, so I repeat these steps now in the other bathroom and constantly listen for the dryer buzzer. Hey! The house is starting to shape up now! Oh the dryer just went off. Go get the clothes and carry the bathroom cleaning tools that you keep in the laundry room or kitchen to the other end of the house if you are done with both bathrooms. And change out the bathroom drinking cups as well. 

Next it is time to fold and hang up the laundry and probably start the load with the bath towels in it.

The next thing for me to do is straighten the living room up and make it look inviting. This is where I often divide jobs and do one every other week. You will definitely want to throw out old newspapers and clean up the mail and the 'what not' now. Straighten the magazines and books. You might wipe down any leather chair or couch and or vacuum the fabric or under the cushions. Fold any blankets and put them and any pillows up correctly. 


This finally brings me to time waster #2 - DO NOT turn on the TV! Men have a habit of staring at the TV like zombies and it can RUIN your entire day of housework! Put on some high energy tunes on an iPod and work to that sound track. It will keep your energy level up and you will not be as distracted as you would be with the television keeping you company.

Now DUST boys DUST!  I use a Swiffer brand duster (not the SUPER SEXY AND ULTRA FEMININE FEATHER DUSTER of fantasy-ville – DARN they just clean better) They really pick up the dust and don’t just swirl it around.

Do all of the book shelves, and the mantle, and the tops of the picture frames. Do the door frames, do the TV and the DVD player etc... DO EVERYTHING where dust could accumulate! When I dust I usually do the entire house all at once instead of one room at a time. 

Next I take some Windex and clean the TV screens, the fish tank, and any picture that is dusty too. We have glass doors and I do those at this time as well. 

The next step is to dance with the broom!  Sweep the corners and all around the ‘other rooms’ other than the kitchen now. And finally I vacuum the entire house. 

Whew! Doing all of that and putting all the remaining laundry away generally takes me about 3 to 4 hours and when it is done, I feel very good about how things look.

Good Job! Her Ladyships Castle Shines!

She used to tell me how great everything looked and how happy she was with my efforts each time she came home. Now she does that less and less. But that is fine. That tells me that I have been good enough at my chores to raise her level of expectations and now she simply expects a certain level of service from me as the norm. I kind of enjoy that now as I have gotten better at what I do and it shows that she trusts me to BE her house work hubby (or male wife) now and I think we both enjoy that relationship.

Shortly before she comes home do one final walk through the whole house. Make certainly there are no obvious messes just laying out or cleaning tools you forgot to put back. Then make sure the lighting is soft and inviting and there is no loud music or TV or anything annoying. Your Queen should enter a warm, gentle, and inviting home. She should feel good about coming home, not annoyed.

At last Her Majesty comes home! She sits on the couch with her iPad and says “I’m hungry and that cake you baked sure smells good!” “Shall I get you a piece my Queen?” (Yes I DO call her ‘My Queen’ at home and she likes it! – I haven’t been outed by her on that count yet! But I don't think that I would really mind if I was. I mean shouldn't EVERY home be a Matriarchal Monarchy? Wouldn't that be heaven on earth?) 

I present it to her tired and hungry majesty who has come home to a clean, orderly and peaceful home and is now being fed and doted upon by her adoring male wife. My basic chores are done and my next task is up to her...

Her Majesty Has Now Been Served And Is Pleased. Heaven On Earth...