How to Cure “Male Pattern Sassy Mouth”

If I was to single out one issue that I see “supportive” hubbies mention as the biggest problem that they have in their relationships I think that it would be “I forget my place and I sass back to my Queen” more often than anything else.

I see it all the time in other blogs. Generally, the male does something stupid and self centered (or just not slavish enough to meet some set of standards) and gets ‘put into his place’ by her and this teaches him once again that his role is to serve and to please and not to confront her.

In my own experiences this has been one of the issues that I have faced as well. It generally has come in one of three flavors.

Scenario 1 is where I am all wound up about doing something and the Queen has other plans for me. Let’s say that I have just come home and I have been thinking about doing some task when I first get home. It has filled my mind all afternoon at work and all the way home and I can’t wait to just get in there and scrub down the kitchen counters and wash the kitchen floor and start dinner. This is the most important thing in the world to me as I charge through the door all ready to be Mr. Perfect hubby and get things done to please her!

I get inside the house and almost immediately she is telling me that she has five big heavy bags of mulch in the trunk of her car and ‘thinks it would be a good idea’ if I were to carry them from the car to the garden and ‘help her’ spread them.

Like most of the ‘directions’ I receive this comes in the form of a suggestion. But upon reflecting it is obvious that it actually is an order and it would be best if I simply dropped everything and did as I was told without question and with a smile.

But being stupid, and being already being ‘would up’ about doing something else I make an excuse or snap at her that I ‘have other plans’.

Oops!

Scenario 2 is where I am lazing around on the couch with my mind totally occupied by something else and She suddenly starts talking about something completely different than what is on my mind or ‘asks’ me to do something. “Honey… can you help me on the computer?” to which I stupidly snap back: “I’m busy!” or “Can’t you do that yourself yet?” or “I’ll get it later!”

Oops!

Scenario 3 is where she starts talking to me about something totally foreign to my stream of consciousness and in my hurried state of mind I only want to get to the ‘punch line’. I brusquely offer a ‘solution’ and treat her as if her ideas/thoughts/opinions didn’t really matter.

Oops!

In many of the FLR blogs the solution often goes something like this: The second that he is rude to her or acts in a self centered fashion, she slaps him hard across the face! Then she grabs hubbies ear and twisting it painfully she drags him down the hall to the bedroom where she sits on the bed. He stands before her knowing that he must now lower his pants and present his naked and submissive rump to her across her lap. She pats her lap assertively. He crawls across it submissively.

Once in place, she whips his butt twenty to thirty times with her hair brush until his rump is on fire and tears and apologies come gushing from him like rivers. She pushes him coldly onto the floor. Then still naked, he is told to stand in the corner until she tells him to stop. While there she scolds him again and reads out a long list of difficult and degrading ‘punishment chores’ for him to ‘help get his mind right’.

YOU GO GIRL! SHOW HIM WHO IS BOSS!!!

Whew! Sounds pretty sexy to me! Sounds like a submission fantasy come true, and although it may actually happen from time to time, I am guessing that most of those blog entries are just that ‘fantasy’.

For me the reality of it is not so ‘hot’ as it is very ‘cold’. I do get snapped at and called ‘rude and thoughtless’. And unless I swallow my male pride and cave quickly and apologize completely I can get the ‘cold shoulder’ for days and maybe spend a few nights on the couch as well. And all the while I KNOW that I will have to apologize eventually anyway!

The 'Cold Shoulder'. The WORST of all possible punishments!

I have to admit that caving quickly and apologizing on the spot is pretty hot in itself! I know that I get a warm glow of humiliation about what is happening and I think she gets a jolt of dominant power through her veins at the same time which she secretly LOVES but probably would never admit to it. So maybe we SHOULD be naughty just once in a while, as it spices everything up!

Oh how she loves to hear you beg for forgiveness!

However I think it would all be best if 99% of the time we were more ‘open’ to what she had in mind, even if it does seem to come right out of the blue.

It has been a long slow process for me to learn how to ‘behave’, but I think I now understand some of the basic principles and as exciting and sexy as the fantasy spanking scenario I listed above is, I find this solution to be even deeper and in some ways more radically dominating and fulfilling than the angry spanking wife.

What I am talking about is ‘emptying your mind’ and being eager to accept any input from her that she wants to give at any time. If you will notice, in all of the bad boy scenarios that I listed above, the problem was not that she did anything that should have upset even a vanilla type of man. The problem was that I had filled my mind completely up and had no room for her input! I had committed myself to serving her and yet when she wanted something done I was ‘too busy’.

If my mind had been more quiescent and prepared for her directions I would have smiled on each occasion and said: “Yes my Queen! I’ll get right to it dear!” or I would have listened intently and appreciated that what was on her mind was important to her and that I had already committed myself to serving her because SHE was what was most important to me!

I considered naming this piece something like “Serving Her More Deeply” or “Giving Yourself Over More Deeply To Her Control” because when you think about it this is not just control of your body and outward response that you are giving to her. You are beginning the process of giving total control of your mind and with it your very soul to her to mold and use as she sees fit!

Yes Mistress! I hear and shall obey!

You are beginning to help her to totally remold you into the man she wants. So is that radical? Do you think that a modern assertive woman might enjoy having that level of control over you?” My answer to both would be an unqualified ‘yes’. In one way it goes way beyond the concept of ‘pussy whipped’ and in another it goes more completely into the arena of selfless eternal love.

As I have learned to keep myself intellectually calm, and quietly open minded I have found a deep inner peace. I do not bother getting all wound up in things that I probably couldn’t have any effect over anyway. I do not ‘have to hear’ the next stupid line on a TV show. I do not ‘have to finish’ this chapter of the book I am reading. I do not ‘have to finish’ this or that chore. I no longer want to have her hurry up and finish her thought so that I can get back to what I was doing before.

When she speaks, I basically drop everything else and listen. Women LOVE to have us listen to them! Yes, they speak more than we do and it is natural. And if you want to love and serve her this is a very natural way to do so that will REALLY please her. I mean REALLY please her!

Smart modern man listens submissively to his Queen

When I am about to enter her presence, I now make a conscious effort to see that my mind is calm and that my number one priority is to serve and please her. When I do that instead of making my number one priority to ‘get something done to please and serve her’ it makes us both happier. I may not get as much work done, but doing things was always secondary anyway. Making it about her and not about doing for her has made our lives better. 

 

Nowadays if I come home ready to clean the bathroom and she wants me to work in the garden, I say “Yes Dear” and go change my clothes to work in the garden and I do it with a contented smile. 

 

If I am watching some fascinating documentary and the final summation is being made and she starts telling me about her day at work, I tune the TV out of my mind and realize the blessing that it is to have a fine woman like her that would care enough about me to tell me all about her day. That show will be on again.

For a guy who has fantasized his entire life about being owned and controlled by a strong woman, I now get the feeling that I actually am her instrument. My mind has now made itself over to the point of being available for her to pour her thoughts, dreams, and aspirations into.

Want to submit to her and please her? Then do what SHE wants! She wants you to listen to her.

Snapping out of this submissive landscape for just a second, I must explain that this does not mean that I am her robot and have no will at all. I sometimes do disagree with her. But I always do it in a quiet and respectful manner now. I no longer interrupt her. This was a huge thing for her in the past. I listen with docility for long periods of time. Being able to talk at length and have me quietly listen has given her even more confidence and it’s great!

We long longer argue. We do discuss. Of course her word is basically law but it is rare that she needs to impose it on me. We talk and generally agree. If we don’t I obey and we move on. It’s all pretty nice, and gets better all the time. I really am living out my lifelong dreams of service and submission. They aren’t as kinky as dreams usually are, but they are deeper and more complete in the scope.