A Chastity Update

Earlier I posted a piece on my thoughts about ‘male chastity’. You can read about them by going here:

http://onbecomingasurrenderedhubby.blogspot.com/2014/02/some-thoughts-on-male-chastity.html

In it I talked about the difference between voluntary and involuntary chastity. The involuntary type would involve the man’s private parts being locked into a male chastity device which he did not have the key to. In general his wife takes control of his orgasms and only allows him out of that device of hers when she decides to. This is a way to enforce ‘good behavior’ and utter obedience to her on his part.

This is something that some of you readers have opted for and you live under your Queen’s lock and key. If that makes your lives better, then more power to you.

I found a drawing of you wearing your device with pride.

You all look so ‘Cute’!!!

For me the idea of actually locking up my cock just seems a bit too radical so I have opted for the less radical option of voluntary chastity. And I doubt that my Queen would like that other option much anyway. Also being voluntary, I can ‘enjoy’ denying myself over and over for her pleasure and that sacrifice feels good!

Although she might not like the kinky aspects of actually locking me up, something that she does seem to like is the way I behave toward her when I am ‘fully charged’. After a week or so of chastity on my part I can FEEL the difference in my own behavior toward her. I am EAGER to please her. Not just ‘eager for release’ and in fact I often resist release because I WANT to have that eager to please attitude and don’t want it to fade, especially when SHE is enjoying it.

In that spirit, I have taken the responsibility to control myself for her sake. When I have the option to be naughty and ‘cheat on her’ and yet I resist, I feel that I have in a way suffered for her sake and that is a good thing. When a man gets married he swears to ‘forsake all others’. That even means to 'forsake your fantasies' and even to ‘forsake yourself’! Don’t rob the intimacy you can build with your partner by playing with yourself and fantasizing about other women! Men need to save ALL of their maleness as a gift to lie at the altar of one true Queen!

Now be a good boy for mommy!

Well it being voluntary and a TREMENDOUS temptation means that we (er I mean “I”) slip every so often. As I said before, the AVERAGE male masturbates DAILY! (You dear read know what I am talking about…) So when you are getting on to more than a week, there is a very strong urge to give in.

When I do resist the urge I feel very good about it. I feel like I have sacrificed my own wishes in order to serve, please, and obey the true desires of my Queen. It is in a way a religious experience unto itself.

My DREAM Woman!
 

I don’t know about you but I LOVE this picture! This wonderful woman is so strong, and so loving! She guides her male through life and she remakes him into something better than what she found!

She is simply a no nonsense WOMAN! No time wasting activities!  No naughty language! AND NO masturbating! She only permits the good and proper things that a lady SHOULD expect in HER home from HER spouse!I think this is my fantasy lifestyle right here…

OK enough fantasy time. (I try to lay out a little in each entry. To keep you interested maybe?!)

When I wrote that previous piece I was doing my best to remain totally hers. I would go for a week and then if she did not ‘release me’ or if I felt that she had no interest in me for several days on end, then I would lose my focus and basically steal what belonged to her and use it for myself.

I could go for a week or two and when things were not going as I would want them too, I would declare to myself that this is my own ‘bad boy week’ and I would sneak away and drain myself over and over. These times were just like life used to be ‘before’. Just like before I had totally re-committed myself to serving and pleasing my Queen.

I drifted from week to week and wondered “Where has that ‘spark’ gone that made our lives so great for so long? Is this experiment in Wife Worship at an end like so many other things that work well but only for a while?”

I have kept a very private diary that includes my thoughts on these types of issues form day to day. Over recent weeks I went back and re-read some of the passages when I had mentioned how long it had been for me since my last release and when I was focused on having my sexuality belonging totally to serving her.

Oh the LOVE that was poured out onto those pages! Oh the devotion and thankfulness that I felt were amazing! And those pages were also filled with incidents about her loving return. She would plan romantic events and we made love frequently. (These events were always initiated by her of course! And each was pure heaven!)

I felt a little frustrated at times but if I sacrificed my own wants, my joy rose exponentially and so did hers. So I decided to ‘try again’ and to do a better job of it this time.

It did not take long before things started to improve at home! My attitude toward serving her improved. My level of service both in terms of domestic chores AND equally importantly in terms of deference when she spoke began to improve.

This is a topic I need to address separately but women want men to LISTEN to them. DO NOT interrupt her! Listen and agree! She is the Queen! When you do this, and when you learn patience your relationship will begin to blossom. She will feel VERY comfortable with you and when she is at ease, her confidence and her assertiveness will both blossom as well.

Hush Up and LISTEN to your WOMAN!

So now, basically she talks, I listen. I only interject an occasional “Yes Ma’am”. I get up immediately and do the things she ‘asks’ me to do. She smiles and feels content, powerful, and loved! She showers me with affection when I am like this and I attribute much of it to my own level of chastity.  It has built a new level of desire to please her. If you have not tried it and if you are going around sexually drained all of the time because you are ‘doing yourself’ constantly try this. You could be amazed at the result.

So now I am embarking on this new level of chastity. I intend to make sure that she has control of my sexuality. I will as I have been doing, give her as much pleasure as she wants in any way, shape, or form, and at any time she wants it!

I have told her that I am there to serve her wants and needs, and while it has taken time for her to really accept that, she has begun to enjoy the power and control that this gives to her. If she feels in the least bit randy, she lets me know and I perform. She has no fear of rejection which can be such a big issue for a woman.

I do not beg or whine. But I do hug and hold and always act gently and in a romantic fashion toward her. This lets her know that I am ready for the taking. Although she can basically ‘have me when she wants me’ and she now knows that, it is good for her to feel wanted and not just that I am some sort of breathing sex toy.

Being ‘fully charged’ keeps me on edge and even at times when I am tired or have given up on the idea for the time being, if she lets me know that she is in the mood I can switch it back on at any time. And this has really gotten her excited.

I only release when I know that she wants me too. This usually happens when she is totally satisfied and sexually exhausted. At those times she may choose to mount me and in her own subtle way let me know that she is ‘giving me my little treat’ as she will not be requiring my services for a couple of days afterward.

Generally, we live with a four or five to one ratio of her pleasure to mine. I stay on edge and she stays satisfied almost all the time.

There are difficult times, and I know that I will slip up again. But I think part of the problem is when you are not totally committed to your regimen then you can make up excuses to be selfish. I know when I was doing this earlier and I felt that she had no interest in me at the time that I felt free to think “Damn it! Why should I wait? Nothing will happen!” Then that excuse would lead to indulgence and that indulgence would lead to draining me of the energy that could have turned the situation around. A vicious cycle had begun.

Now I identify the long term nature of my denial and think on the long term benefits of it.

With that in mind I identify the ‘trouble times’ and do my best to be steeled for the temptation. Being in bed alone is the big one! Since I usually go to bed before her this is when trouble makes itself available. There is also the shower. Years ago I used to hear about guys doing it in the shower but I never understood until now. When I was basically self –drained all the time well I was not so excited while washing. But now, after 10 to 15 days of no release if I am washing myself OH MY that soap and shampoo are seductive! And after that amount of time your fantasy life jumps up into your mind so quickly and so vividly too! So be careful there.

Do not play with the Queen’s toys without the Queen's permission!

The other most troubling time is when she simply ‘leaves you home alone’. You get bored, you surf the internet for porn (mostly Femdom porn. I know you. You know me.) Or you decide to ‘take a nap’. Don’t do it! Keep yourself busy or constantly remind yourself of the real benefits. Have you ever ‘done yourself’ while she was out only to have her come home in a romantic mood, and there you are spent and can do nothing for her? That can be SO embarrassing and so disappointing for everyone. You making excuses about being tired or busy or something and SHE feeling rejected, because you DID reject her and dreamed of someone or something else while she was gone.

So realize when a tempting time is coming and resolve to see it through before you enter it. That will help you to stay focused!

In conclusion I have to say that to me as a man who has always dreamed of serving and pleasing a woman, this is paradise! I suffer FOR her. Then I please her. She feels confident and powerful, and I feel loved and guided. I feel so blessed in my current situation that it is hard to describe.