What's In A Name?

I have spent the first three entries defining what a “Surrendered Husband” is, and what it means. But I must tell you that the name of this blog was not an easy choice because while I have considered myself to be totally surrendered to the one who is my Queen, I seriously considered calling it "How to Become a Stepford Husband” or “How to Become a Trophy Husband” as well.

All three of these names both reflect a truth and a falsehood. I just don’t have a great name for the condition I am in and the direction in which I am moving. It does not seem to fit well in any predefined pattern yet. As I have described earlier I am not much of a hard core believer in the currently defined concept of a “Female Led Relationship” (FLR). Even though what my Queen says, goes! We rarely disagree and when we do it is up to me to find a way to swallow my pride and apologize to her and then make it up to her in some fashion and that’s fine. She is the Queen of the manor but she rarely “manages” me. She might like other wives do, tell me about some job that she would like for me to perform or some behavior that she would like for me to change. But she does not spend a lot of time ‘ruling’. It is just accepted that She is the superior creature and that I was put on the Earth to figure out how best to please and serve her.

“Surrendered Husband” – Sounds like it is all bondage and domination. While she is clearly the boss and I clearly submit myself to serving her, this is not about dog collars and fanny paddlings.

“Stepford Husband” – Now this is a concept that I have fantasized about since forever. But it is just that. If the idea of her managing me seemed a bit much in reality, imagine having her actually controlling my brain so that only happy thoughts of service and pleasure giving toward her would ever surface in it! The clean and perfect concept of being the 100% pleasing mate that does nothing but serve and please is very captivating. But again it is far from reality.

That leaves me with the concept I most identify with and that is being her “Trophy Husband”. Problems with this name are associated with the negatives one associates with “Trophy Wives” of course. Being attractively ornamental and sexually pleasing would be great! But there is also the thought that the husband of a “Trophy Wife” couldn’t care less about her as a person and the “Trophy Wife” is really just a gold digger. In fact the whole concept is rife with the thought of very shallow and materialistic people being involved. I would certainly not enjoy being married to someone who actually did treat me like a possession. Nor could I sit back and demand money or services for myself, as a gold digger.  I want to do “My Fair Share and well, HER fair share as well!”

But if we really play with the concept of a “Trophy Husband” I think that maybe we can come close to a definition of the “Ideal male mate” in a world where Women are not only respected but revered for truly being the semi-divine creatures that they are. 

I have come up with three general areas where the “Trophy Husband” could excel in being what a woman would want.

1)      He is someone that she would want to show off and brag about to her girl friends! Like a “Trophy Wife”, a “Trophy Husband” helps to glorify his wife by being in this case very manly to the outside world. Sorry FLR sissies and cross dressers, he is not one of you. At least not in public!

A ) He goes to work and has earned the respect of the community as well as the individuals he comes in contact with.

B ) He is both physically and emotionally strong, but uses his strength to protect the weak. He is ferocious when it comes to protecting women and children. He looks like a man and acts like a man. Chivalry is his code of conduct.

C ) He keeps himself well groomed and sharply dressed. It has been said that a ‘well fitted suit is to women what lingerie is to men’. I can vouch for that. When I dress well in a good quality suit or a nice sport coat and tie, I get ‘the look’. I do not generally get ‘the look’ when I am in jeans or khakis like everyone else. Yes, women look me over like I am a tasty treat, in the same way that men have always looked over women. I consider it a great honor to get ‘the look’ and usually smile softly and nod in appreciation. 

If you want to serve and please a woman, be a man!

2)      He is not a lazy gold digger. When this manly ‘hunk’ gets home from work, he almost immediately dons an apron and gets busy doing housework! He has taken ownership of this area of their lives. If she chips in and helps him out, he thanks her but tells her softly that it was not necessary. He always keeps a chipper attitude about it no matter how boring and dull it can get. As the work gets dull and dirty he keeps in mind that he is doing it so that she does not have to! Any suffering done on his part here he can count as joy in that she has this burden lifted from her.

He fills his mind with thoughts of her happiness. He cooks her dinner, serves it to her, and cleans up afterward so that she can pursue her own interests. He was born to serve and he understands that this is a small price to pay to live in the presence of and under the loving guidance of a living breathing goddess. 

Oh Honey, I simply LOVE this new apron! Wherever did you find it?

3)      He is regularly what the ladies call ‘romantic’. This can also thought of as being her 'eager bedroom slave'! On a regular basis he does his best to woo her so that he may serve and please her. He does not do this for his own pleasure. Oh No! He does it to please her! He does this while knowing that he is never to demand, and if she is not in the mood he does not whine, complain, or beg. 

He respects HER choices in these things always. He smiles and quietly takes it like a man knowing well and good that in the long run by totally committing his life to pleasing her in any way, shape, form, or frequency that he can, he will enjoy the most satisfying sexual relation that any man could ever dream of! Oh she will take him and take him plenty when SHE is in the mood. It is his job to get her in the mood without being a pest about it!

I love you. I adore you. I love for you...

He is to be basically manly arm candy in public, a happy butler at home, and an eager, loyal male nymphomaniac in bed. He is totally insatiable for the feel of HER pleasure.

I will expand on all of these areas in future posts…