The Roller Coaster of Chastity

I have been learning, exploring, and enjoying various aspects of the Female Led/ Female Superiority lifestyle for a few years now after a life time of dreaming about it. I dreamt as most of us have about all sorts of Female Dominance and male submission and humiliation. Having rejected all of the most severe versions of this ‘fantasy lifestyle’ as unrealistic and well “bizarre”, I have however moved along in more ‘down to earth’ ways of living in a way that allows my wife to be the ‘Absolute Queen of the manor’ and I as her most happy and fulfilled personal servant.

To Serve And Revere Woman Is The Reason For man...

I have learned much along the way. Some of it I was able to read about and save myself the pain of finding things out on my own. Some of it I have had to go my own way on. I have had a few surprises along the way no doubt. 

Through all of the learning that has come my way, the part that has surprised me the most is the chastity. It is easy to read about males in chastity. There are things written about it all over the place! It seems to have taken over as the number one submissive fantasy in popularity now. But I would say that only a small percentage of what is written is true, or should I say “applies to me” or “gets the same reaction from me as discussed”.

In reading about male chastity the first two things I noticed were that it was constantly called ‘the absolute basis’ for any female led relationship AND from what I could see, I thought that the whole point was to turn the male into a whining begging pathetic slave who would do ANYTHING for his next orgasm. This process would destroy any pride the male had and turn him into a worm. He would be willing to do any chore no matter how difficult or humiliating or suffer any degradation for that single blessed release! 

Needless to say, it was not something I wanted to become. “Uh that’s just weird dude.”

Her Hapless Chastity Maid No Longer Has ANY Limits. He Is Her TOTAL Slave...

Maybe for some guys that level of kinkiness is what they actually want. Maybe for some guys that begging squirming desperate worm is what they do become when chaste for a long period of time. Maybe for some guys it’s true because they WANT it to be true and they can use it as an excuse to live out their fantasies to play the 24/7 doormat for their women. Maybe these guys are going like 6 months between releases. I don’t know. All I do know is that my experience was not really like that.

I was a changed man. Of that there could be no doubt! I found myself super eager to please the one to whom I belonged. But it was a more genuine desire to please, love, (and yes serve) than simply to have my little jerk off time. 

Oh I was tempted to shoot my load on my own numerous times. But I found that denying myself in order to keep the chastity in fact got easier the longer I went. Maybe not doing it for a long time made the thought of doing it less appealing. Maybe it was a case of counting the days and saying “Look you have already gone X number of days without doing this, you can go another day. Don’t be selfish and screw it up now.”

Maybe it is because I actually retained control of Mr. Happy and was not locked away. But what I did do was discipline myself for both the experiment and for her happiness and pleasure.

Basically I did not grant my own release for the entire summer. From the first of June until the first of September any release I had was on her time table alone. And even then, I often refused myself during those times in order to go deeper and longer into this state of heartfelt woman reverence and service.

So yes, I did have releases. No I did not do them to myself. No I did not decide when they would be (for the most part). I only released if she initiated love making and AFTER she was obviously already pleased with the result. (Ladies ALWAYS come first! ALWAYS Remember that! Hey, didn’t some smart guy write a blog entry about that?) 

Mommie's Toys Are For Mommy To Use! Not you!

She would initiate ‘activities’ with me on average about every 3 or 4 days. What momma wants, momma gets. And she gets what she wants how, when, and where she wants it! In general she would build herself up to a point of near bursting and then simply take me. She would let me know that was was time for fun. I would report to bed for her. She would take control of me, roll me over, mount me, and explode on me within just a few minutes. (Think Faye Dunaway in ‘Network’. She was always on top. Her men simply existed to serve her and She was ALL business! WHAM BAM Thank you boy toy…)

I felt and I often feel this way now, that I am there to be her ‘sex toy’. I make and keep myself available for her and let her know that I would love to experience her having me and without her having to tell me what to do I will perform the way she wants me to perform for her almost immediately. I will serve and experience the utter JOY of her pleasure in using me forcefully and fully. Then I will lie there and be thankful for having been able to facilitate that beautiful moment. I must tell you that EVERY SECOND of womanly pleasure feels like a gift from heaven to me! 

This Pretty Much Sums Up Proper Female/male Relations!

In general it was and remains 100% about her. And that’s totally cool with me. I ENJOY serving and pleasing her as my owner and my Queen. 

At times however I could tell that her pleasure meant that she wanted to either see me ‘rewarded’ or that in order for me to truly please her I needed to let her know that she was so irresistible that I could not hold back and that I would be spent because of her awesome beauty, strength, and love. It is probably impossible for me to describe it, but I knew when that was happening by the whole process and how she looked at me and reacted to me. 

I would always make sure to tell her how awesome she was afterward and how exciting and fulfilling that the experience had been. Honestly complimenting someone you love on their lovemaking can go a long way to helping to make them at ease with you and with themselves as well as boosting their ego!

Most of the time, I was simply Mr. Foreplay and she would have one, two, or possibly three releases herself! It was like heaven to this eager servant boy! Then when she was exhausted, she would lie down and I would simply lie back and wait for my erection to go down. And I did this with a deep thankfulness in my heart that I had been pleasing and of use to her! It is a humbling thing to bring a woman to pleasure and often pleasure to the point of exhaustion. And that is especially true if she is the one you are dedicating your very life to serving and pleasing! 

It Is Important That you Always Remember your Place!

In general this happened anywhere from ten to twenty days between releases for me. Although I did go for a stretch of thirty six days at one point. Yes for over a month the culmination of our lovemaking was 100% about her pleasure. There were actually numerous ‘activities’ but Majesty did not decide that my release would be part of them. It was all good, even though during that longer stretch I did more than once wonder ‘when oh when?’ But I waited. The timing of her releases as well as my own were both to be at her discretion. 

I did notice that anywhere from the next few hours to the next couple of days after I had gained release that I did not have quite as much energy nor was I as eager to please Her Majesty as I had been. I often felt a certain amount of shame during this time and really doubled down on my conscious efforts to be pleasing until I could feel my attitude shifting back to what had for me become 100% ‘normal’ (whatever that means). 

When I was ‘charged up’, I would be eager to please but without being a pest about it. I knew and understood that my release was not:

A) Likely in the next encounter (although I was sometimes hopeful for it and at other times wanted to avoid my own release!) nor was it,

B) Necessarily what I wanted to do! So I did not beg or whine or pressure her for intimate time.

I began to know her cycle and if she went at it hard, she would be drained and it would take 3 or 4 days before she was ready again! If for some reason I had gotten her to agree to ‘do me’ before she was actually ready, it would have ended up being an unpleasant experience as she would not release and would not have enjoyed this time. So if she did not initiate the fun time, I would simply bide my time and wait for her. Remember if you are truly a surrendered husband or a Stepford husband, or a loving male wife, you are not the actor in sexual relations, you are now the object. 

Offer Without Ceasing, But Accept Her Decision Always! This Couple Is Off To A GOOD Start!

When and how she wants, she takes. You simply remain ready at all times for her. Remain ‘romantic’ and sweetly dispositioned. Be cute and useful around the house. Show her ‘respect’ by listening to her and not sassing her back, and when there is quiet time ‘offer yourself’ to her. Maybe just be sitting beside her and play with her hair or rub her shoulder. When she turns to look at you be ready to give soft romantic kisses. If she wants you, she’ll take you! If not she will let you know. This has been the routine in my house for some time now. Sure sometimes she would laugh at me and how pliant I was, but that mild humiliation is all part of the fun too!

There will be times when this is not easy or convenient. There will be times when she has something else in mind or is feeling sick or is worried about something else. Then you just put your ‘sexy’ on the shelf for her until she is ready. Often when the current crisis passes, she will ‘make it up to you’. “Oh honey! I feel like I have been neglecting you! So you just be ready for tonight! Momma’s going to make it all better…” OH YUM!

Now another thing that I came to realize about this whole process was that even though I had had a release, I was not in any way drained like I had been in the past! Oh my energy and lovey-dovey ‘how may I serve you?’ heart were slower and I had to watch myself for a while, I was not drained like I would have been if I had simply been that ‘average guy’ that we have talked about earlier.

Remember the average guy masturbates daily! DAILY! That’s average! And well sometimes I can be above average! That guy not only masturbates daily, he often and I mean often goes to total DRAIN level. (Just spank that monkey 3 or 4 times in one day and see how long it takes you to get your ‘eager to please’ back on!) I think this is probably the normal state for A LOT of guys. These are the surly ‘Get me a beer while I sit on my ass and not care’ kind of guys we all know and or ‘have been’ or even still are.

THAT was my old normal. That is MOST guy’s every day normal! It may well be YOUR normal. And my normal was to feel sexually drained and uncaring most of the time. I was NOT romantic. I was NOT eager to please or serve my Queen. I was a lump.

Well it may stun you to know that even I, the poster boy for being his “Woman’s 24/7 Heartfelt Slave” do in fact still go through periods like that. I think her Majesty accepts them and from time to time SHE TOO wants to serve me! Sorry if I disappoint here but we are not the FemDom Poster image of the Woman with whip and man cowering in the corner every day couple.

Oh What A Bad Bad boy!

The times when I am like this are fewer now and shorter in duration than ever before, and I do feel guilty about it even if she is eager to make me happy and goes into one of her increasingly rare domestic moods. In general I am at least up and in the kitchen ‘helping her’ if she is on one of those moods. But I do turn into a slug from time to time too. And that generally happens when I am drained! 

I don’t generally get drained just performing for her and waiting on her to grant me release. I generally get drained when I ‘take things into my own hands’ because well since I CAN go for more, why stop at one?

I know this because for much of September after a long summer of “Don’t Play with Mommies’ Toys” I decided to get some relief on my own. I had planned on going 90 days like this and I succeeded. Now I wanted to see how my attitude would change if I did as I ‘damn well felt’ from one day to the next. 

In order to quantify my results, I kept a log of the happenings in my life. It is a diary of ‘My Journey’ to becoming my woman’s’ servant. I reread what I had written back in June, July and August. WOW! I was brimming over with joy and desire! Every entry bristled with how great she was and how I felt honored to have pleased her and how I dreamt of going deeper and ever deeper into my service and submission to her. I even wrote down some of my fantasies during this time. They were intense!

Then once I started jerking off again, the entries just became fewer and further between. Things had become stale enough that I just did not care enough to write about them again. It was then that I realized that my ‘experiment’ had been a total success! My chastity had completely changed my outlook on everything! AND it had pleased her. She was one happy woman during all of this as I could attest in my log. 

Now to be fair, the last couple of weeks at home have seen her with some other issues on her mind of things at work, and a back ache and an allergy etc. So the ‘down time’ is not quite as pure an example as I would have liked it to be BUT having turned myself back into “Mr. Hands Off” about a week ago, I can attest that things are looking up again! And I don’t just mean the tent in my pants! (Oh it is kind of fun to be erect much of the time just like when I was 17! – That is another added bonus. Or Boner –us?)

I will undoubtedly have more to say about this issue in the near future as what I have been reading is not what I have been experiencing. But what I HAVE been experiencing convinces me that this is the proper way to go...