Forgive me for having been away a
bit. I came back to post two obituaries to awesome and wonderful ladies whose
feet I would have LOVED to have knelt at.
Beyond that I have once again been
both a little busy in reality and it seemed that although I had several ideas,
none of them really gelled. So instead of waiting forever to post, I thought
that I would lay out some of my ‘half formed’ ideas and see how clear they
became between the time I started writing and their completion. So here goes:
I have read before in other FLR
blogs that we spend our time in an insular on-line world. We go from one Female
Led Relationship blog to another and read all that is happening in our
completely matriarchal world only to venture outside, look around and think
“Where did it all go”? Other than my own personal experiences and the writings
of others who also remain anonymous, there is little sign of it in the
non-virtual world in which I live.
I suppose that all depends on what
you expect. If you think that when you get up from your computer and go for a
walk down the street that you will hear the sounds though open windows of angry
women spanking their naughty and immature husbands on the butt and yelling at
them while the poor boys blubber their apologies, you may be surprised to find
out that that doesn’t happen much in my neighborhood.
If you expect to see half naked men
being led around on leashes wearing dog collars by haughty aloof, leather clad dominatrix’s
just out to pick up the mail well it may take a little while before the first
ones come out today.
But is that what it’s all about? Is
that the only model of female leadership out there? Is that real ANYWHERE? Is
it even real in the blogs that claim it
to be real?
I admit to you that my version of
paradise isn’t exactly a 24/7 Female Domination ass beating and humiliation party.
So if that is all you are interested in, you might want to just stop reading
right now and go look elsewhere. (Well I’ll give you a couple pretty pictures. But
that’s all! And maybe a couple fantasy scenarios too, but that’s really all! I
mean it this time!)
But what I do see is a world where
women have ALWAYS had their share of power in the world, and are moving into
powerful positions ever so steadily into other areas that used to be the sole
province of men as well. I see a world where the male / female dynamic is shifting
slowly but steadily and shifting away from an older model where male physical
power and daring do were the foundations of society.
I obviously see us moving forward
into an era of automation, more comprehensive health care, and information processing
and away from brute strength. I see a world where more girls than boys are
attending and graduating from college and the numbers only increase from there at
the graduate school level.
I see women’s salaries rising and I
see the percentage of households where women are the higher earner rising as
well. We are at around 30% now of such households I believe and the number is climbing.
I live in such a situation. Her Majesty has a more advanced degree than I do,
and earns more than I do. It is always unspoken, but it does lend a little more
‘umpf’ to her power base over me. If I were ever foolish enough to try and
leave her service my lifestyle would drop off more than hers. That’s not the
reason I stay, but that truth is there.
I see women moving out in confidence
and power into what was previously described as a “man’s world”. I see the
ladies taking managerial positions in business, education, and government.
I also see the “old school” women’s
power base continue on as well. It is a little different on the home front than
it used to be but I still see woman basically making the real ‘command
decisions’ on the home front as they always have. “Do we get a new car? Do we
move? Do we paint this room or get new furniture? Can we afford to have the
house painted? Where do we go on vacation? Where will the kids go to
school?”…etc. Well let me back that up a little. I see women making the
‘command decisions’ at home in every single family where harmony reigns, and
that (at least to me) has always been the case.
In the happiest, most harmonious
homes I do not see utter deference paid to the ‘patter familias’ as is the
model that we are told is the ‘traditional home’. Those homes are few in my
experience and I just do not see any joy in those homes either. Everything seems
rigid and regimented and the whole act usually seems pretty forced to me to
make it look ‘proper’. I would like to do a study on such homes and get in depth
to see where the power really lies when the family is not putting on a show for
visitors. But I digress…
No I see women in the most joyful
homes (very vanilla looking families etc...) where is it the ‘running joke’
that ‘Oh She is the boss!’ or ‘She wears the pants’! Their husbands will say
this with a big laugh out in public and then will feign mock fear of their
wives and the ‘punishments’ they will receive at home later if they disagree
with her. Everyone laughs. But in those families, I also see a lot of true
deference for her position and I see a lot of real affection between the
couples.
I certainly see more men doing more
around the house than in the past. (I see it at my house anyway!) I think it is
more expected now, although many men are still not living up to the new expectations
well. For them, life is often a ‘big hassle’ at home. They go to work. They
come home to an angry frustrated wife who tells him that she does not feel
appreciated. They rest and pretend that they are king of the castle. She forces
herself to take care of everything and often does a poor job of it because her
heart is just not in it. And, well that castle is not a happy place.
So are we moving from a patriarchal
society to a more matriarchal one? In many ways I believe that we are. I won’t
say that mainstream society today is actually matriarchal. But I would say that
the pendulum in the balance of power has swung toward the middle and maybe just
a bit toward the ladies at this time. Will this swing continue? I think that it
will. Women will have more money and power in society in the next few decades
than they do now. Men (men who want to live lives that are better than those of
lonely bitter woman hating slobs) will be picking up more and more of the
‘support spouse’ role in life as many of you already have.
"Honey, I'll Be Home At 8 with some of the girls from the office. Could you be a lamb and clean the place nicely and make dinner for us? I knew I could count on my good boy!" |
I don’t think this ‘pendulum swing’
is through by a long shot. With women getting more advanced degrees than men,
and being more daring in their career and life choices I think that we will see
many new ‘living arrangements’ in the next few decades.
Nor do I think the ‘pendulum swing’
is an even and smooth process! As I just outlined, there are pockets of
resistance. There are unhappy men trying to ‘Be the Boss’. Often they try
because they have been told that that is what REAL men are! They often react to
what is a natural power center in their woman by attempting to suppress it.
This brings little more than friction at home and inside both partners. (Or
they are just lazy little boys at heart and their mommas didn’t raise them
right!)
I’ve said before that we “Live in a
world where men are told that they should be in charge and where women want to
be in charge!”
It’s not just men who are failing at
this, but men who act properly can make the situation better even if she
doesn’t yet understand the new dynamic. Often the women involved in these homes
are trying hard to place that man on the throne and suppress her own desire to
rule and or simply be respected. This makes these poor women frustrated as they
battle their own will and the couple tries to live up to a model that does not
really apply to them.
I meet women like this often. They
feel under-appreciated and less loved than they should be. They feel that their
life is not as it should be either. I couldn’t really tell you if the men in
their lives are really trying to ‘Be the Boss’ or if they are just blockheads
and haven’t a clue about what is going on in their woman’s heart and soul. I
really don’t.
All I do know is that when I get to
talking with them, and it’s not necessarily flirting per se, just talking, they
will get that “If only I had a man who treated me like that!” look in their
eyes. I don’t keep it a secret that I am married. I am not trying to woo these
ladies or get them to run off to a motel with me or something. Although I must
admit that I do LOVE having them treat me like they would really enjoy digging
their claws into me if I were available. What guy wouldn’t?
People are people. I don’t try to
‘act big’. I do try to meet people where they are in life. Women are people.
Treat them with the respect they deserve. Many women find themselves overcome
with emotion when you start to do that. They will begin to LIKE YOU! I have
found that getting them to do that is not that hard to do! Talk with them. Joke
with them. Make them feel safe around you. I often tell a self deprecating joke
or make light of something about myself.
When a man does that, a woman often
feels at ease around him. She will laugh and think “This is really a good guy!”
He’s not showing off. He’s not just trying to ‘nail me’. He is genuinely fun to
be around. I am stunned these days at how easy this all is compared to where I
used to be. I used to try to act big in order to impress women into liking me.
99% of them couldn’t care less and are LESS impressed with you for doing that
than if you just treat them like an equal. They have ALL seen this act a
thousand times.
Just relaxing and being your ‘woman
loving self’ will bring surprise benefits! I have been asked if I had ‘big plans
for this weekend’ before as we all are, and I I might just say something about
taking my wife out and having a little party for her. “Oh is it her birthday?”
“Well it’s her HALF birthday. She was born near Christmas Day and never got the
recognition she deserved on her birthday as a kid so I try to make it up for
her a little...” You should see the reactions I get!
Common replies are: “Awwwww! That is
about the most romantic thing I have ever heard!” or “Wow! You sound like a
real keeper!”
Women LOVE THIS KIND OF STUFF! They
want to know that they are important to you! It is SO SIMPLE TO DO and you are
guaranteed success if being loved and even “owned” more is really your goal.
I try to plan special little
holidays for my wife that I think of as “Gifting Opportunities”. It’s nothing
grossly materialistic, just thoughtful and romantic. I outlined a few of these
topics in an early post called “Gifting Her”. As well as having created an
annual “Half Birthday Holiday” for her, six months before and after her real
birthday. I have also created an anniversary of the date of our first date for
us to be together and just maybe go to dinner, get her flowers, a card, or
candy. It is nothing big, but it is just something thoughtful and a little
romantic.
I was once addressed in public at
party of people she works with for having done this. A man in her office
shouted out to me “Hey, I hear that you are putting we other husbands to shame!
What’s this about celebrating her HALF birthday?” It was all said in fun, but
said loud enough for everyone (maybe ten men and ten women) to hear. I blushed
a little, not expecting to be “outed” like that but then I gave my standard “Her
real birthday is too close to Christmas” answer and I could almost feel some of
the women’s eyes eating this moment up, and I could obviously feel my own
Queen’s “Pride in Ownership” surging. She had obviously been bragging at the
office about me, and that is not a bad thing either!
So to try and bring this back on
course I wanted to say “Yes the pendulum is swinging. It is moving toward Woman
Power and away from all male power.” But it is not a straight line for everyone
and it is not always easy. There are new female centric homes that are living
the dream! Many of us have embraced the future and we love it! There are also
homes where that is not the case and the inescapable movement of society is
seen as frightening to both sexes and they are resisting it. I don’t see them
as living as fulfilled lives as others are.
Which brings me around full circle
to the fact that these ‘imbalances’ in how we react to the march of “her-story”
open TREMENDOUS opportunities for the man who dreams of Female Domination!
There are LOTS of women out there who WANT a sweet, supportive, housework ready,
loving, romantic, underfoot MAN that they can own and play with! THEY ARE
HUNGRY FOR US OUT THERE!!!
The winds of history are at your back! Stop resisting them! Stop wasting your life jerking off to spanking videos! There are LOTS of women out there who are FAMISHED to find a romantic (sometimes spelled 'pussy whipped') man out there whose only thought is her happiness! Help her to rope you, brand you, and put you permanently into her corral and under her thumb! Just Do It!
Brother if you just relax a bit and start to understand and ACCEPT your own dreams and desires and simply be yourself around these magnificent creatures, you can either find that assertive dream woman or help to release the inner Tigress in the woman that you are already married too! A female centered life is not far from where you are right now...
The winds of history are at your back! Stop resisting them! Stop wasting your life jerking off to spanking videos! There are LOTS of women out there who are FAMISHED to find a romantic (sometimes spelled 'pussy whipped') man out there whose only thought is her happiness! Help her to rope you, brand you, and put you permanently into her corral and under her thumb! Just Do It!
Brother if you just relax a bit and start to understand and ACCEPT your own dreams and desires and simply be yourself around these magnificent creatures, you can either find that assertive dream woman or help to release the inner Tigress in the woman that you are already married too! A female centered life is not far from where you are right now...
I have seen the future, and it is run by Women! |
I talk to women all the time. I
didn’t used to be able to, but I do now. And I LOVE IT! And many of them show a
certain level of love in return that I am MOST humbled by and honored by. I
chit chat with women and touch around the concept of them being in charge and
MANY of them just take that little opening and if played right will at first
blush at the concept and then playfully joke around it, and sometimes if I am
open, tender, and trust worthy with them they will start talking about dominating men in their
dreams to me. It’s just SO beautiful! YES, Women have opened up to me and told me about THEIR female dominance fantasies! They feel frustrated that they don't have a man to conquer in bed! I feel like I am here at the cusp of the
future and I some small way I am helping to birth this beautiful new world.
I am or course very happy to give myself over to the use of my Queen. I am also very happy to
dedicate myself to being the ‘support spouse’ in a loving relationship and I
would love to see this become the norm. Living in a world where: “Women rule
and men serve.” Would be lovely! I hope that many men will find the joy I have
in doing the little tasks that a woman likes to have done for her and being
appreciated for it. Being a male wife for a good woman is a pretty nice life really.
It is the combination of both of our dreams and best of all it makes her really happy.
You want me to make you wear a dog collar then spank you? Really? You are REALLY weird... |
For a long time when I was just
living in fantasy land and seeking a part time dominatrix, women would play
along for a while and then seeing how excited I got about it, they would get kind of 'creeped out' about it, then dump me and move
on. But NOW that I live in a world of reverence for all things female and I
actually DO happily perform the chores that will free her from drudgery and
live to please her and do all the little things that I can think of to actually
please her and make her feel loved and content, I can just FEEL almost all of the women around me
enjoying it!
No longer am I the disgusting
pervert that women shun. I am now “the keeper”. I have moved to the point where
women seek me out for council about their men. (I understand them better than
the ladies do generally but still, I really don’t understand most other men…) I am
looked upon as I always dreamed of being looked upon, as a male that women (if
he were available) would want to have for their own. It really is a dream come
true and frankly I think that if any other guy wants to live it he can. Just
think about what SHE might want. Then become that.
True joy is often found simply sitting at her feet if done right... |
Great post SH. More than most you are able to see things from the woman's point of view and then act accordingly instead of always having her tell you what to do. I'm sure that didn't come easily. It takes lot of discipline and commitment. I think you are right that women want to have this kind of man as a mate.
ReplyDeleteI still think you should write a column for some men's internet magazine. Or alternatively, a woman's mag, where you might be more support.
LS
Thank you ls,
DeleteIt's pretty tough to have a happy life as a subordinate to someone that you do not understand, and are trying yourself to control!
Every man needs to spend some time just thinking about female psychology and simply watching the woman you are with and noting what makes her happy and what does not.
If you have any connections to any magazines that you think I should submit some writing to, let me know.
I'd love to make a little coin 'spreading the message'.
SH
Yes, great post. It makes so much sense to me that women should control the relationship, but maybe I have my own bias.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read blogs written by submissive women, I could never imagine them having a female led relationship.
I find so much joy in those aspects of my relationship with my wife that are wife led, that I think everyone should be that way! And I hope that she becomes even more dominant. But the important thing is that I do all I can to make her happy and let her find her own way of leading. When she appreciates what I am doing for her, she reciprocates and I get more of what makes me happy too.
I think that we are moving in the direction of every home having more female influence over affairs. And i think that society in general is becoming more feminine all the time.
DeleteBut that doesn't mean that the change is all even or without a few bumps in the road. There certainly are a number of male run homes and areas of society, and they may always be there.
But I think the general direction of society is more in line with women becoming more of the 'decision maker'.