Ah Fall!

I live in a part of the country that gets pretty hot in the summer and the summer seems to go on forever! So this weekend I was doubly content with the sudden drop in temperature and how it coincided with the beginning of the ‘performing arts season’.

And yes for all you domestic boys, I DID do about four hours of house cleaning before I showered and got changed!

;)

I had earlier bought a nice summer weight jacket to wear to the opening night of the symphony season, but quickly jettisoned that choice when the day made it cool enough to wear a heavier ‘fall weight’ jacket for the evening. 

Is there any reason why you WOULDN'T want to be the object of her attention and affection?

 

I have a lovely fall/winter weight charcoal tweed jacket with just hints of purple running through it. Very subtle, very rich and deep looking and stylish enough to offer some ‘pop’ as my tailor likes to say. It is my single most favorite piece of clothing and I always feel good when I wear it.

So I slipped that and a pair of charcoal wool trousers on with shiny black wing tips and a button down blue oxford shirt and a snazzy looking Jerry Garcia tie of blue, black and white which pulled everything (Shirt and jacket) together. I thought I looked good!

Her Majesty was slightly more casual than I was but certainly not inappropriately so. She wore a floral patterned purple dress with a matching shawl sweater and large purple costume jewelry that accented things quite well.

So off we went to dinner before the show (I had made reservations weeks in advance) and when we arrived we definitely got ‘checked out’ by our fellow diners (over 80% of which were on their way to symphony opening night as well). This is always a very pleasant experience for me. I know the ladies have experienced this ‘being checked out’ phenomenon since the dawn of time as men have always looked them over.

Hey, they DO check us out. Be something worthwhile to check out! And be subtle so that they are comfortable doing it!

I know that women have checked out men as well, perhaps more subtly in the past but they have always done so. Maybe it’s just that I am noticing it more now, but I sure am enjoying it! Maybe half of the ladies (of all ages) gave me the once over or maybe the twice over! Of you can see them doing it out of the corner of their eyes trying not to be seen. I think in their minds they are thinking “A lady simply does not do that!” but if their lips say “No, No.” their eyes are still saying “Yes, Yes!”

If you look back at them they will usually dart their vision away and become involved in whatever is happening at their own table. Occasionally you will catch someone’s eye looking you over. If you do it is important that you act quickly to appear both strong, and friendly! A soft returned glance with a subtle smile of acknowledgement and ‘thanks’ can often lead to ‘I think we shared a moment there’ and that can be so sweet.

Every real man's dream!

Anyway, I am just thinking out loud here and am quite happy that summer is coming to a close. Or is summer coming to a clothes? Either way, I feel quite a bit more in my element now.

I can see why this movie is called "Mr. Lucky!"

For more on "Dressing Like A Man", check out this previous entry:

http://onbecomingasurrenderedhubby.blogspot.com/2014/02/the-clothes-make-man.html

Crossing The Divide

Forgive me for having been away a bit. I came back to post two obituaries to awesome and wonderful ladies whose feet I would have LOVED to have knelt at.

Beyond that I have once again been both a little busy in reality and it seemed that although I had several ideas, none of them really gelled. So instead of waiting forever to post, I thought that I would lay out some of my ‘half formed’ ideas and see how clear they became between the time I started writing and their completion. So here goes:

I have read before in other FLR blogs that we spend our time in an insular on-line world. We go from one Female Led Relationship blog to another and read all that is happening in our completely matriarchal world only to venture outside, look around and think “Where did it all go”? Other than my own personal experiences and the writings of others who also remain anonymous, there is little sign of it in the non-virtual world in which I live.

I suppose that all depends on what you expect. If you think that when you get up from your computer and go for a walk down the street that you will hear the sounds though open windows of angry women spanking their naughty and immature husbands on the butt and yelling at them while the poor boys blubber their apologies, you may be surprised to find out that that doesn’t happen much in my neighborhood.

If you expect to see half naked men being led around on leashes wearing dog collars by haughty aloof, leather clad dominatrix’s just out to pick up the mail well it may take a little while before the first ones come out today.

Now Put Her Shoe On With RESPECT you PIG!!!!

But is that what it’s all about? Is that the only model of female leadership out there? Is that real ANYWHERE? Is it even real in  the blogs that claim it to be real?

I admit to you that my version of paradise isn’t exactly a 24/7 Female Domination ass beating and humiliation party. So if that is all you are interested in, you might want to just stop reading right now and go look elsewhere. (Well I’ll give you a couple pretty pictures. But that’s all! And maybe a couple fantasy scenarios too, but that’s really all! I mean it this time!)

But what I do see is a world where women have ALWAYS had their share of power in the world, and are moving into powerful positions ever so steadily into other areas that used to be the sole province of men as well. I see a world where the male / female dynamic is shifting slowly but steadily and shifting away from an older model where male physical power and daring do were the foundations of society.

I obviously see us moving forward into an era of automation, more comprehensive health care, and information processing and away from brute strength. I see a world where more girls than boys are attending and graduating from college and the numbers only increase from there at the graduate school level.

I see women’s salaries rising and I see the percentage of households where women are the higher earner rising as well. We are at around 30% now of such households I believe and the number is climbing. I live in such a situation. Her Majesty has a more advanced degree than I do, and earns more than I do. It is always unspoken, but it does lend a little more ‘umpf’ to her power base over me. If I were ever foolish enough to try and leave her service my lifestyle would drop off more than hers. That’s not the reason I stay, but that truth is there.

Shake It For Momma - Sissy boy...

I see women moving out in confidence and power into what was previously described as a “man’s world”. I see the ladies taking managerial positions in business, education, and government.

I also see the “old school” women’s power base continue on as well. It is a little different on the home front than it used to be but I still see woman basically making the real ‘command decisions’ on the home front as they always have. “Do we get a new car? Do we move? Do we paint this room or get new furniture? Can we afford to have the house painted? Where do we go on vacation? Where will the kids go to school?”…etc. Well let me back that up a little. I see women making the ‘command decisions’ at home in every single family where harmony reigns, and that (at least to me) has always been the case.

In the happiest, most harmonious homes I do not see utter deference paid to the ‘patter familias’ as is the model that we are told is the ‘traditional home’. Those homes are few in my experience and I just do not see any joy in those homes either. Everything seems rigid and regimented and the whole act usually seems pretty forced to me to make it look ‘proper’. I would like to do a study on such homes and get in depth to see where the power really lies when the family is not putting on a show for visitors. But I digress…

No I see women in the most joyful homes (very vanilla looking families etc...) where is it the ‘running joke’ that ‘Oh She is the boss!’ or ‘She wears the pants’! Their husbands will say this with a big laugh out in public and then will feign mock fear of their wives and the ‘punishments’ they will receive at home later if they disagree with her. Everyone laughs. But in those families, I also see a lot of true deference for her position and I see a lot of real affection between the couples.

I certainly see more men doing more around the house than in the past. (I see it at my house anyway!) I think it is more expected now, although many men are still not living up to the new expectations well. For them, life is often a ‘big hassle’ at home. They go to work. They come home to an angry frustrated wife who tells him that she does not feel appreciated. They rest and pretend that they are king of the castle. She forces herself to take care of everything and often does a poor job of it because her heart is just not in it. And, well that castle is not a happy place.

So are we moving from a patriarchal society to a more matriarchal one? In many ways I believe that we are. I won’t say that mainstream society today is actually matriarchal. But I would say that the pendulum in the balance of power has swung toward the middle and maybe just a bit toward the ladies at this time.  Will this swing continue? I think that it will. Women will have more money and power in society in the next few decades than they do now. Men (men who want to live lives that are better than those of lonely bitter woman hating slobs) will be picking up more and more of the ‘support spouse’ role in life as many of you already have.

"Honey, I'll Be Home At 8 with some of the girls from the office. Could you be a lamb and clean the place nicely and make dinner for us? I knew I could count on my good boy!"

I don’t think this ‘pendulum swing’ is through by a long shot. With women getting more advanced degrees than men, and being more daring in their career and life choices I think that we will see many new ‘living arrangements’ in the next few decades.

Nor do I think the ‘pendulum swing’ is an even and smooth process! As I just outlined, there are pockets of resistance. There are unhappy men trying to ‘Be the Boss’. Often they try because they have been told that that is what REAL men are! They often react to what is a natural power center in their woman by attempting to suppress it. This brings little more than friction at home and inside both partners. (Or they are just lazy little boys at heart and their mommas didn’t raise them right!)

I’ve said before that we “Live in a world where men are told that they should be in charge and where women want to be in charge!”

It’s not just men who are failing at this, but men who act properly can make the situation better even if she doesn’t yet understand the new dynamic. Often the women involved in these homes are trying hard to place that man on the throne and suppress her own desire to rule and or simply be respected. This makes these poor women frustrated as they battle their own will and the couple tries to live up to a model that does not really apply to them.

I meet women like this often. They feel under-appreciated and less loved than they should be. They feel that their life is not as it should be either. I couldn’t really tell you if the men in their lives are really trying to ‘Be the Boss’ or if they are just blockheads and haven’t a clue about what is going on in their woman’s heart and soul. I really don’t.

All I do know is that when I get to talking with them, and it’s not necessarily flirting per se, just talking, they will get that “If only I had a man who treated me like that!” look in their eyes. I don’t keep it a secret that I am married. I am not trying to woo these ladies or get them to run off to a motel with me or something. Although I must admit that I do LOVE having them treat me like they would really enjoy digging their claws into me if I were available. What guy wouldn’t?

People are people. I don’t try to ‘act big’. I do try to meet people where they are in life. Women are people. Treat them with the respect they deserve. Many women find themselves overcome with emotion when you start to do that. They will begin to LIKE YOU! I have found that getting them to do that is not that hard to do! Talk with them. Joke with them. Make them feel safe around you. I often tell a self deprecating joke or make light of something about myself.

Heaven is being surrounded by women that are happy with you!

When a man does that, a woman often feels at ease around him. She will laugh and think “This is really a good guy!” He’s not showing off. He’s not just trying to ‘nail me’. He is genuinely fun to be around. I am stunned these days at how easy this all is compared to where I used to be. I used to try to act big in order to impress women into liking me. 99% of them couldn’t care less and are LESS impressed with you for doing that than if you just treat them like an equal. They have ALL seen this act a thousand times.

Just relaxing and being your ‘woman loving self’ will bring surprise benefits! I have been asked if I had ‘big plans for this weekend’ before as we all are, and I I might just say something about taking my wife out and having a little party for her. “Oh is it her birthday?” “Well it’s her HALF birthday. She was born near Christmas Day and never got the recognition she deserved on her birthday as a kid so I try to make it up for her a little...” You should see the reactions I get!

Common replies are: “Awwwww! That is about the most romantic thing I have ever heard!” or “Wow! You sound like a real keeper!”

Women LOVE THIS KIND OF STUFF! They want to know that they are important to you! It is SO SIMPLE TO DO and you are guaranteed success if being loved and even “owned” more is really your goal.

Hmmm, what I wouldn't like to do with him!

I try to plan special little holidays for my wife that I think of as “Gifting Opportunities”. It’s nothing grossly materialistic, just thoughtful and romantic. I outlined a few of these topics in an early post called “Gifting Her”. As well as having created an annual “Half Birthday Holiday” for her, six months before and after her real birthday. I have also created an anniversary of the date of our first date for us to be together and just maybe go to dinner, get her flowers, a card, or candy. It is nothing big, but it is just something thoughtful and a little romantic.

I was once addressed in public at party of people she works with for having done this. A man in her office shouted out to me “Hey, I hear that you are putting we other husbands to shame! What’s this about celebrating her HALF birthday?” It was all said in fun, but said loud enough for everyone (maybe ten men and ten women) to hear. I blushed a little, not expecting to be “outed” like that but then I gave my standard “Her real birthday is too close to Christmas” answer and I could almost feel some of the women’s eyes eating this moment up, and I could obviously feel my own Queen’s “Pride in Ownership” surging. She had obviously been bragging at the office about me, and that is not a bad thing either!

"Oh Yeah! That cute little pussy whipped hunk over there belongs to me! Oh Yeah!!"

So to try and bring this back on course I wanted to say “Yes the pendulum is swinging. It is moving toward Woman Power and away from all male power.” But it is not a straight line for everyone and it is not always easy. There are new female centric homes that are living the dream! Many of us have embraced the future and we love it! There are also homes where that is not the case and the inescapable movement of society is seen as frightening to both sexes and they are resisting it. I don’t see them as living as fulfilled lives as others are.

Which brings me around full circle to the fact that these ‘imbalances’ in how we react to the march of “her-story” open TREMENDOUS opportunities for the man who dreams of Female Domination! There are LOTS of women out there who WANT a sweet, supportive, housework ready, loving, romantic, underfoot MAN that they can own and play with! THEY ARE HUNGRY FOR US OUT THERE!!! 

The winds of history are at your back! Stop resisting them! Stop wasting your life jerking off to spanking videos! There are LOTS of women out there who are FAMISHED to find a romantic (sometimes spelled 'pussy whipped') man out there whose only thought is her happiness! Help her to rope you, brand you, and put you permanently into her corral and under her thumb! Just Do It!

Brother if you just relax a bit and start to understand and ACCEPT your own dreams and desires and simply be yourself around these magnificent creatures, you can either find that assertive dream woman or help to release the inner Tigress in the woman that you are already married too! A female centered life is not far from where you are right now...

I have seen the future, and it is run by Women!

I talk to women all the time. I didn’t used to be able to, but I do now. And I LOVE IT! And many of them show a certain level of love in return that I am MOST humbled by and honored by. I chit chat with women and touch around the concept of them being in charge and MANY of them just take that little opening and if played right will at first blush at the concept and then playfully joke around it, and sometimes if I am open, tender, and trust worthy with them they will start talking about dominating men in their dreams to me. It’s just SO beautiful! YES, Women have opened up to me and told me about THEIR female dominance fantasies! They feel frustrated that they don't have a man to conquer in bed! I feel like I am here at the cusp of the future and I some small way I am helping to birth this beautiful new world.

I am or course very happy to give myself over to the use of my Queen. I am also very happy to dedicate myself to being the ‘support spouse’ in a loving relationship and I would love to see this become the norm. Living in a world where: “Women rule and men serve.” Would be lovely! I hope that many men will find the joy I have in doing the little tasks that a woman likes to have done for her and being appreciated for it. Being a male wife for a good woman is a pretty nice life really. It is the combination of both of our dreams and best of all it makes her really happy.

You want me to make you wear a dog collar then spank you? Really? You are REALLY weird...

For a long time when I was just living in fantasy land and seeking a part time dominatrix, women would play along for a while and then seeing how excited I got about it, they would get kind of 'creeped out' about it, then dump me and move on. But NOW that I live in a world of reverence for all things female and I actually DO happily perform the chores that will free her from drudgery and live to please her and do all the little things that I can think of to actually please her and make her feel loved and content, I can just FEEL almost all of the women around me enjoying it!

No longer am I the disgusting pervert that women shun. I am now “the keeper”. I have moved to the point where women seek me out for council about their men. (I understand them better than the ladies do generally but still, I really don’t understand most other men…) I am looked upon as I always dreamed of being looked upon, as a male that women (if he were available) would want to have for their own. It really is a dream come true and frankly I think that if any other guy wants to live it he can. Just think about what SHE might want. Then become that. 

True joy is often found simply sitting at her feet if done right...