It’s Show Time for Subby hubby!

The posts I have made up to this point have all been in the ‘how too’ category. This one will be in the ‘this happened to me’ category.

When asked to go to a ‘function’ by our wives or girl friends that will mostly be attended by other women why do men generally resist? I know that I have frequently in the past deferred and made up some excuse. I would rather stay home and ‘watch the game’, or work on some project. Men generally prefer to do ANYTHING rather than go to a ‘Hen Party’.

Now Listen To Me You!!! You WILL Go To ThIs Party And you WILL Enjoy Yourself!

 

Why?

Why would a man who LOVES women want to avoid the opportunity to be in their company? Looking back over a few years ago I can have give you several answers. It has to do with our ‘personal freedom’ and wanting to not be ‘henpecked’ or being expected to ‘be on good behavior’. We probably won’t know anyone else there. There will be no other guys to talk to. It may have to do with knowing that you WILL get chewed out if you turn on the TV to ‘watch the game’. You will be expected to ‘Be a Real Gentleman’ at all times. Which as I outlined earlier is a woman’s positive way of describing a guy who is um: ‘pussy whipped’. A ‘Real Gentleman’ is a guy who dedicates his every breath to insuring that the ladies around him are happy and comfortable. He is chivalrous to the point of doting.

OK looking back I can understand why “other guys” might not want to do this, but what about us?

If your Significant Other has invited you to such an event recently she most likely asked in such a way as to make it easy for you to back out of it. “Honey, there is a little fund raiser/get together party for the girls at the office over at the “Ferns and Lace Curtains Wine and Cheese Bar” (not a real name OK?)  this evening and you don’t have to go but I was wondering if…

With such a set up you are most likely to knee jerk react and say “Uh the Spider Monkeys are playing the Hoot Owls tonight and I really wanted to clean the fish tank and organize my paper clip collection and...”

“OK. I didn’t THINK you wanted to go…”

And that’s it. She goes alone. She didn’t really expect you to want to go just like all the other women who went didn’t expect their males to want to go either. When she gets home she will probably tell you something about the event and at some point she will wistfully throw in the phrase “…wish you could have been there…”

In the past I would have made those excuses and avoided this event like a root canal. But that was then, this is now. Having experienced it recently and getting totally into the role of being “the good boy” aka “the supportive’ hubby” I have to say that the one I will outline here was actually one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life. And after that, I attended several others as well. There I was last winter in a room that was eighty percent female. The women were all talking to each other, listening to acoustic guitars playing softly, the room was lit by soft track lighting, and everyone was snacking on wine and cheese. I was hanging up coats, being well dressed, quiet, deferential, and polite. I deferred to my wife’s authority in all matters. I inherently understood the ground rules for such an event.  I fetched her and her friend’s drinks and snacks. I was being shown off like her prize possession. I was either being politely quiet and either speaking when spoken to or trying to draw out some lady to talk about herself or her interests that was somehow not currently engaged in another conversation. After the evening was over I realized that I WAS IN SUBBY HUBBY HEAVEN!

What follows is a slightly redacted version of what I wrote in my diary about the first night where I realized that I had been missing out and wanted more of these ‘hen parties’ in my future!

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Last night I left work quickly and slipped on my tie. (Why must we hide our good clothes when we work in offices?) I was dressed well. I already had on charcoal pants, my favorite charcoal tweed jacket, a blue oxford shirt, and a Jerry Garcia tie with a teal and blue pattern. I met Mistress at a nice Chinese restaurant for dinner. She had already ordered for me. We had a good time at dinner and then left for the Charity Christmas Benefit concert for the orphanage where the Queen and the Princess both volunteer their time. It turned out that the ‘church’ we were going to was actually a small house in Hipster-ville and almost everyone else there was a college kid. The performers were basically college musical performance majors. It was all very laid back.

I looked around at all of the college kids and the few other males that were there seemed to be closely escorted by at least one female. There were no ‘stray males’. Every one of us was being kept under proper supervision! (Tee hee hee!) And I started to think “This is a really nice ‘pussy whip party’. The boys are here because the girls wanted them to be here. Hmmm I could learn to LIKE this!!!”) I thought about being 20 again and finding a strong, independent girl that I could serve and adore forever. We would go out a couple times. I would come over and clean up her room some Saturday and she would fall in love with me. I would serve and adore her forever. It sounded nice. But then I have already found my Mistress whom I WILL serve, obey, and adore forever so there!

Listening To The Wisdom Of Women While Sitting At Their Feet, Paradise!!!

I took Mistresses coat and found a place to hang it. As Mistress mingled I fetched a glass of wine and a snack for her from the kitchen. Soon another lady named Elizabeth arrived. She was a few years younger than we were but Mistress knew her from various volunteer activities. Ms. Elizabeth’s son was playing in the band tonight. She is very pretty and very sweet! She is tall, slim, has an easy smile, and long curly dirty blonde hair that bounced when she moved. I was introduced and began to realize that I was there basically to be ‘shown’.   

The phrase ‘seen and not heard’ entered my mind. I decided to play along and be a ‘good boy’. I would be still after the introductions but when there was a lull in the conversation I asked Ms. Elizabeth if I could fetch a drink for her. She liked the idea and I scurried quietly off to the kitchen to perform my male duty as the ladies' butler. I returned with her drink and stood quietly beside/behind my queen as the two women chatted for a few minutes until a third lady arrived to join my Mistress and Ms Elizabeth.

Be Quiet, Be Classy And Serve Women!

Ms. Brenda arrived by herself and we soon became a group of four. Ms. Brenda has long straight blonde locks and piercing blue eyes. She is generally a very upbeat person and could almost be described as ‘perky’ but not the traditional interpretation of what ‘perky’ means as she radiates a certain amount of authority while she bubbles. I like her company, but would not want to cross her. Oh lucky, lucky, me I was now officially the ‘tag along hubby’ in a group of three lovely liberated ladies!! Both of these other ladies hubbies had stayed home instead of attending and I was left to serve and dote on them all.

For a while the ladies all chatted with each other and I was scrumptiously ignored but felt completely owned at the same time. I stood just a little back from their inner circle and quietly awaited any opportunity to fetch something or pick something up that one of them dropped. I bathed in their female power and their divine presence like it was sunshine! I think the others were a ‘little’ jealous that my Mistress had brought me out and that their pets had not come. I found that I like being in tow for her at these lady oriented events where the guys are totally outnumbered! It was scrumptious!

I fetched a drink for Ms. Brenda at this time and when I returned the ladies had all moved to the small couch in the back of the room. I was to sit on the couch with Her Majesty. My Queen would sit next to the vivacious Ms. Brenda and they would continue their conversation while the somewhat quieter Ms. Elizabeth would sit in a chair next to me at the other end of the couch.

I struck up a conversation with Ms. Elizabeth by basically asking her a few open ended questions to find out where her interests were and then encouraged her to tell me more. I gave a few head nods and only occasional questions to both her show her that I was actively listening and to encourage her to continue were all that was needed. I have found that often people who seem very quiet are only reserved because they are unsure that you have any interest in what they have to say. If you can gently and naturally encourage them to open up they will talk and be very happy to find someone who has interest in their interests. There is some truth to the saying that “A real boor is someone who talks about himself and a brilliant conversationalist is someone who talks about me and finds me fascinating!”

Simply asking someone about their interests and letting them talk, while you just actively listen is an incredibly easy way to make friends. I found that I really liked Ms. Elizabeth quite a bit. Quiet people are often very interesting once you get them to open up and I found her to be so. The other two ladies in our party were talking happily together and I was SO HAPPY that I had made this fine woman smile and open up. I could tell that she was warming to my company. What an honor it is when a good woman does that!

To listen and engage a lady in this fashion is a true act of Woman Worship. In my everyday life I try my very best to build the confidence of any woman I am in contact with. To look at her not in a lustful, controlling, and selfish way but in a way that admires her physical, her intellectual, and her emotional selves in such a way that she begins to see herself in the same semi-divine way that I see her. I always smile and make eye contact with any lady that I know and am trying to honor. The look on my face always says: “Oh good! You are here! I LIKE you! Seeing you makes me happy!” Most people have a way of reacting right along with whatever signals you send to them!

At one point I asked if anyone would like a drink or a snack and returned to my servant duty to step and fetch for the ladies. While I was gone the other two ladies switched seats and I got to sit next to Ms. Brenda when I returned. She was easy to draw out and she has a daughter who is a very accomplished softball player and it was easy to talk about her talent and all the ins and outs of having an athletic child who is in demand at various universities. Have I told you that I LOVE BEING AROUND softball girls, and their moms? YUM!!! They all same so strong and confident! This is the kind of future I would like to see!

The Future Belongs To Strong Confident Girls!

What I would have thought a year or two ago would have been a dreadful night had turned into a truly great night. While I sat there and listened to her, for the first time the following thought went through my own head about my own life and it filled me with an unspeakable joy: “A truly pussy whipped man will never lack for female companionship.” All I could think was “OH LET THAT BE ME FOREVER!!!” May I live in a totally female run world! Let me be cute, pleasant, and docile and let me be endlessly serving ladies! Let me fetch them drinks and snacks and clean their houses and wash their dishes and tell them in words or simply with my eyes and actions that I consider them to be completely DIVINE, totally superior, and let them know that I need to worship and adore them!

Anyway I was blessed with a number of smiles and lots of stories from Ms. Brenda. When it was time to leave (Mistress declared it to me) Ms. Brenda even patted my knee and grabbed my hand that was on top of it firmly and said: “Oh I am SO Glad that you decided to come tonight! I wish I could get my hubby to come to some of these things!” I was in orbit. Ms. Brenda had said it and Ms. Elizabeth said so herself in her quieter fashion as well. I landed back on earth and fetched coats. Mistress took me home.

I had done well. I did not go nuts. I made pleasant conversation. I did not interrupt. I certainly did not disagree. I spoke when spoken to. Then when the ladies had another Woman to speak with, I sat quietly with a pretty smile and was pleasantly docile and sweet while they spoke of important things. I REALLY WANT MORE ENCOUNTERS LIKE THIS!!!!

SO TRUE! AND I LOVE IT!!!

 

We drove home and I fed the cat and dog, and cleaned up the kitchen a little. Then I changed and went to bed. Mistress said: “I’ll be there soon!” in that teasing way that says: “When I arrive I will expect you to be wearing only a smile and some of your best ‘boy perfume’.”

So I sprayed myself with the strongest cologne I owned and got into bed. She arrived 45 minutes later! Waiting on your woman sometimes means waiting for your woman. You do what she wants when she wants you to! Never forget that, and never complain about it and DON’T GET CARRIED AWAY WHILE WAITING! That thing belongs to HER!

She came in, cleaned herself up, and came to bed.

We kissed. She told me that she was “So Happy” that I had gone with her tonight. I want to know if it is because she got to show me off as her property in front of her friends or what the reason was. And I want to know BECAUSE I want to duplicate what it is that she likes about it. But I SURE want to go to more of these “Lady Parties”! Or better “Pussy Whip Parties!” The Women are in their own element and they are all actually SO STRONG! The men there are all so cute, docile, and obedient.

She told me that I was “The Best Hubby!” and kissed me more and more. I differed and said it was because she was the best Queen, but she insisted. (What had turned her on so much? I think it WAS being able to drag me around and show me off, and having me perform submissively for her as her ‘sweet obedient boy’ at the party.

Whatever the reason was, SHE was happy! And she wanted me and she mounted me and took me! And she took me HARD! Afterward we were both spent. But I felt like my whole life had been transfigured by this Sacred Woman Worshiping experience, as simple as it would appear on the surface. I had spent the entire evening serving women in the way they liked to be served. I had shown my ‘supportive’ nature. I had shown my nature as a ‘True Gentleman’. I had been able to facilitate three different women spending the evening feeling better about themselves than they had when the evening started. This was a Divine blessing!

Is it all true about Pussy Whipped men? Are we all REALLY the happiest of all creatures? Oh there is a little humiliation and a lot of dull housework to it but the ABSOLUTE JOY of UTTER SURRENDER TO YOUR WOMAN IS HEAVEN!!!

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I have since had a few more opportunities to be brought out and shown off since that night. I have enjoyed them all but none stick out in my mind like this evening of revelation did...

Say it loud! “I’m Pussy Whipped and I’m Proud!!!”

Imagine a parade of attractive, well built, well dressed men marching down the street smiling. They are carrying signs, waving feather dusters and brand new toilet brushes in the air while wearing big ruffled aprons. They are all chanting in unison: “Say it loud! I’m Pussy Whipped and I’m proud!”! Their wives and girlfriends watch proudly and maybe more than a bit smugly as their males proclaim the unbounded joy they feel in serving and obeying them!

OK, back from fantasy land. Sounds kind of fun but, that is not going to happen. What does this phrase really mean, to be “Pussy Whipped”?

Here is the ultimate 'Pussy Whipped" image today:

Humiliating? Yes, but it also kind of turns me on...

Why do these images strike a positive chord with so many of us? Surely they are only for fantasy land. If we lived them out in our real lives they would be humiliating to say the least! Yet there is that strong pull to live under the complete and absolute rule of a good woman! If it were not so, would the internet still be filled with images of female dominance?

There is a real dichotomy between our fantasy lives and our real lives. If we are too stoic and stern demanding respect and obedience from our women it will basically drive almost all of them away and we will be alone. We will find ourselves ‘alone with our principals’! Ha! No thanks. Besides I would never enjoy living that lie of complete patriarchy and I don’t know if anyone who does still practice it enjoys it either, from either side.

But if we are too pliant and too eager to please our females, other males will put us down and make fun of us for the doormats we have become, The women we are courting will often lose interest in us and we will be left alone again. Or will they? I think it depends on how we approach this biggest of issues for us.

Are we looking to be humiliated and punished and controlled? Or are we actually looking to please and serve a woman or women in general?  I think that if you pursue that first option, your needs can only be met by a professional dominatrix, and not a wife. Well not a wife who actually cares about you and wants to stay with you.

But if we approach this issue from what SHE wants and needs, I think that we will find a) that it takes a lot of patience and understanding on our parts and that we generally will have a lot to learn in doing it right! We will also find b) that our needs in serving her needs will be far closer to being met than we could imagine it any other way.

A truly Pussy Whipped man is NEVER left wanting for Female Company...

I think that this saying sums up a lot of my philosophy. “A truly pussy whipped man is never left wanting for female company...” In other words, if you dedicate your life to actually serving and pleasing women, then women who want to be served and pleased will find you and even fight over possession of you! Oh yum! And again I am not talking about begging to be beaten or ill treated here. I mean that you fulfill her actual wants and needs. 

In order to do that I need to go back over some of the other lessons talked about earlier. Few women want a total doormat for a man. They might LOVE having an attentive man who romances her without ceasing and simply does the housework without comment, but they don’t really want a sissy or a slave. 

Happiness is knowing your place!

They want someone who can be strong for them when they need that. And this is an important point. We all need a certain amount of security in our lives and women often look for physical, emotional, and financial ‘protection’ if you will from their man. If you can figure out what her real needs are, fulfill them for her. Then if you can figure out what her wants are, do them for her! Some women want financial and/or physical security. Some women want emotional security. Everyone wants SOMETHING out of their biggest relationship. Find out what she wants and provide it! Or if that need of hers is not something you want to spend your life fulfilling, maybe you should honestly assess your relationship and find someone who needs what you are happy to provide.

Men need to spend the early part of their lives finding out who they are and what they can offer. They also need to find a woman they can connect with and this is a big point, and one that that they can trust! Giving EVERYTHING to another person is a pretty big gift and it’s a bit of a gamble. If you find the right person, then you can both be very happy. If you find the wrong person she may not give a damn about you and just see you as a fool to drain dry and discard. It has happened to more than one eager to please male! In fact it has probably happened to most of us who are reading this at some point.

So don’t rush into the big commitment. Learn about her. Let her learn about you. Practice serving her and giving to her. Give her your time and attention. Help out around her place. Give her little gifts, etc. When the time comes, and you beg her to marry you and take you forever make sure that you are both ready. Then dive in.

For me, the fine line that I walk is that I am 100% masculine in public and I romance my wife. I take care of things. I go to work. I step between her and any possible trouble to always be sure that I am the one closer to harm than she is. I take care of all the little details that I can to insure that she does not have to. But on the other side of the coin, I simply handle the housework and I do it with a smile. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I polish her shoes and make certain that everything is in good order without comment. And I always (often jokingly) defer to her authority. When the opportunity comes up I will say something like “Oh I would never question you! You are the Woman in this house!” or “You are the Queen! Your word is law!” I keep it light with a small chuckle but she usually responds with a wry smile that says both “You are so funny pretending to be afraid of little old me.” But also “Hey you are pretty smart for a guy! We women ARE in charge and I’m glad that you acknowledge it!”

So what about this phrase “Pussy Whipped”? First off, I wish there were a gentler and more positive term for this state. I have heard the term ‘uxorious’ in connection with a man who is totally dedicated to serving and pleasing his woman. But even that one is defined as ‘a man who loves his wife too much’. Is that possible? We have no terms for a women who loves her man too much!

I have also heard the phrase “He is a real gentleman.” I kind of like that and I suppose that it does speak more to where we are today. A gentleman certainly puts ladies first and is very chivalrous and in today’s climate I think it DOES show a certain amount of him being enthralled to the marvelous creatures that we know as women.

But if anyone out there has a better term let me know.

The PW term is generally used only by guys to put other guys down. “Oh Ted’s so Pussy Whipped that he won’t go hangout with the guys on the weekend. He’d rather go shopping with that new bitch of his!” I really hate this pejorative use. (And I sure hate that nasty fake macho term for women!)  Both are usually used by guys who have no clue of what makes a woman tick and probably live by themselves under a mountain of empty beer cans and old pizza boxes. No Thanks.

To me this ill defined state of being ‘pussy whipped’ is one of the most wonderful and complete states a man can enter! It is total love and devotion! You are with her and she is happy! Of course there is the other side of the coin if you picked badly or have no idea how to make a woman happy. One of these greedy self centered women may in fact be using you like the fool you are and giving nothing in return. We should expect nothing when we give, but if it is a one way street and she is constantly wounding your heart, then move on. This is not working.

If however you are simply doing for her and she is giving affection and devotion in return, then the ‘pussy whipped’ condition is like heaven on earth! You give and give and she smiles and enjoys! She usually finds ways to express her happiness with you and you just know.

Don't listen to losers. Be who you were meant to be! Serve and Adore your Woman!

Last Valentine’s Day a couple of divorced guys in our department were trying to act tough with the rest of us who are all married. “You want to know what I am going to do tonight? Whatever I want!” then they laughed.  I just smiled and nodded. “OK!” While I knew that I had already bought two dozen red roses to be delivered to her office. Oh how women love to be able to show off like that in front of other women! I was going to go home and give her a gift that I had bought her then dress up and go out to dinner in a nice restaurant. After that I would take the woman whom I have dedicated my life to serving and pleasing out to see a live play. I would end up spending quite a bit of money on her. I would do things most "guys" wouldn't choose to do on their own, and it would make her happy and content that I loved her. Whatever happened after that she would decide and I would accept happily even thankfully and it was EXACTLY what I wanted to do.

So if you have found the woman you will serve and you are both enjoying your relationship then enjoy it. Be proud of it. If some knucklehead wants to make you feel bad that you have found what makes you happy, just laugh it off and keep going. Frankly I wouldn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day, and I sure wouldn’t want to give up on a lifestyle that makes my Queen happy for anything!