Housework – Learning to Love it!

In my last entry: “Put on those Aprons and get back to your housework boys!” I began talking about what I call “Rule #2” or “Becoming your Woman’s Domestic Servant”. In order to truly serve your woman, you must do the things that she does not enjoy doing for her. Men were put on this Earth to serve and please Women and the number one thing that women do not generally enjoy doing is cleaning the house!

Our Women Truly Are Our Reasons To Be

This means that good men, men with happy wives that is, (and is that not the very definition of what a good man is?) are men who have taken ownership of the housework instead of expecting the Lady of their life to do it. As the level of dirt and clutter starts to rise, I can always tell that my Queen’s blood pressure is rising with it. If it gets high enough, she will suddenly start to clean herself. She will not say anything but I can tell that I have screwed up and that I need to IMMEDIATELY jump in and start doing some housework! I don’t interfere with what she is doing; I simply go clean somewhere else and continue to do so until there is a semblance of order throughout the house (or I pass out!). Hopefully she will see my efforts and after she has finished her immediate task she will stop cleaning while I continue.

The 21st Century Will Be One Of Male Service To the Female

In order to avoid this situation I try to stay organized so that the house remains fairly clean all of  the time. I do a load of laundry on this night, vacuum, on that night, clean up the kitchen every night, etc. This gives a show of both cleanliness and progress toward cleanliness. But this is the minimum level of being a Surrendered hubby. And I always (and I suppose many of you do as well) want to go far beyond the minimum in order to provide peace, contentment, and joy for the Queen of the manor.

THIS look is what I LIVE for!!!!

There are daily and weekly chores that always need doing. Sweeping, vacuuming, washing the kitchen floor, cleaning the bathroom, straightening the living room, dusting, laundry, etc. These things are constant, and relieving the Queen of these chores fills me with contentment. But this is not enough to keep a clean house! These chores which are constantly in front of us are really just maintenance chores. They must be done constantly! Many men are doing these chores now (at least part of them and this is nothing new). What needs to be added to this list in order to keep a neat and pleasant home, are the deep cleaning chores.

Deep cleaning means to literally take hours of time to organize and throw out useless clutter, scrub down every surface, and clean and detail all the little nooks and crannies of a room so that it feels brand new when you are done! Every room in your house should be deep cleaned at least twice a year. This past Saturday between running different errands to help out our daughter, I spent 3 or 4 hours doing all the weekly maintenance cleaning throughout the house and it looked ‘pretty good’ by the time I was done. I got tired by mid afternoon at the end of that process and it would have been tough for me to dive into another task at that time. Besides I was going to be taking the Queen out for dinner and a show on Saturday night so it was time to quit, rest up, clean up, and dress up when I was done.

A Happy Hubby Staying Out Of Trouble By Being Useful

On Sunday afternoon I continued my weekend cleaning chores by diving into deep cleaning the bathroom. It had become the number one biggest problem in terms of cleanliness in the house and as spring approaches I thought that I would spend my afternoon scrubbing it down and making it shiny, sanitary, and inviting. I had only done a surface cleaning in there on Saturday so I got down to scrubbing the sink and counter tops, washing the mirror, scrubbing out the toilet, AND getting down on my hands and knees and cleaning down around the base of it. It had gotten nasty down there. 

I cleaned up the floor around it where the mop would not go as well. Then I took on the big job for the day, which was scrubbing the shower out. We have glass doors to the shower and the tracks get kind of gross if not cleaned regularly. So I removed the doors and scrubbed the tops and bottoms, then I got a scrub brush and some comet cleanser and scrubbed the shower floor tiles on my hands and knees. Finally I washed down the walls to remove the old soap stains and did the glass itself. This process took quite a bit of time and A LOT of rinsing to get it all right but when I was done it looked 100% better.

Ahhh.... Cleanliness!

The Queen came in just as I was finishing and said: “What are you doing?” I told her that it had gotten dirty and it was past time for me to clean this shower out. She didn’t complain, but she did give a little self satisfied smile to me that let me know that she was well pleased with my efforts. 

Wow, I LIVE for that look! I have been told by a woman whose opinion I highly regard, that a man who does both the maintenance cleaning AND the deep cleaning without having to be told, would rank very high on the scale of women's dream hubbies. Ever since hearing that and seeing the results in my own Queen's eyes and behavior I have worked hard to live up to that reputation. What could make any man feel more fulfilled than to think that his woman (and/or her friends) thinks of him as close to the perfect man? I can tell you that having a clean and comfortable house is a wonderful thing, but if you have that AND a satisfied wife well you are living pretty close to paradise!

Your Service Has Been Found Pleasing To The Queen

So is it a lot of work? Yes.
Does it take a lot of time? Yes.

Is it worth it? Well I would answer that question by asking how important is your Ladies happiness to you? For me, it is definitely ‘worth it’ and I only wish that I could do more.

What are some lessons that I have learned along the way of keeping house for the Queen? 

1)      Men are not naturals at housework at first. I had to learn how to do things one step at a time. I did what I could and I spent some time online learning how to do it better.

Here are a few links to help you do it better and more efficiently:

http://www.home-ec101.com/

http://orgjunkie.com/

http://domesticservitude.blogspot.com/

One of the great things on the Domestic Servitude website is the list of Spring and Fall deep cleaning articles:

http://domesticservitude.blogspot.com/2012/03/spring-cleaning.html

Do everything on these lists and your house will sparkle and your lady will smile!

2)      Doing chores is not the end in and of itself.

This was a bit harder to learn because as a guy I am focused on tasks. I worked hard to have a clean home and good food on the table, but at some point I had lost my rational for doing this and I had become an annoying task driven Felix Unger! I was being a jerk about it. I got right to my chores and seemed annoyed if anyone, even the Queen Herself interrupted me!

This was NOT the way to do it.

I was supposed to be doing this for HER, but I had forgotten her in the equation and I needed to change my attitude.

After a while I learned to be more flexible and happier in my work. I learned to cook and clean with a smile on my face and an open heart, and an open time schedule.

If her ladyship wanted to talk to me, I would put the vacuum away and I listened to her. 

If the work didn’t all get done, it was OK because it was HER schedule and HER pleasure that I was serving. As soon as she had told me about her day at work or whatever other thing she wanted to tell me about (and I had dutifully listened with interest) I quietly returned to my chores.

One of the wonderful side effects of learning to be happier and more flexible was that her ‘interruptions’ sometimes were of a more ‘personal’ nature. I have not really discussed “Rule #3” yet but pleasing her is the motto and I have found that pleasing her is the most pleasant thing on Earth for me. So always remember to be flexible!

3)      Do your chores with a smile! Just like I talked about in earlier posts, smiling will lift your spirits, lift the spirits of those around you, and make you more attractive and fun to be around.

Now Act As if you Like It!

I love this cartoon! In a lighthearted way it encapsulates all of this philosophy. He is doing the housework. He is sacrificing his time, his energy, and any macho delusion he (or society) might have  that he is the one to be served and obeyed in order to be serving and pleasing her. But she wants more. She wants him to smile and enjoy sacrificing and serving her. She is even treating him like her own personal sex object! What man wouldn't want that?

Haven’t women been told to smile and ‘enjoy’ serving men for thousands of years? Well boys, the apron is on the other fanny now! So smile, be cute, do your housework, and live to please your Woman! And frankly, if you do it with a smile and behave as if you love it, she will feel more loved than ever. Oh she will laugh at times at how silly or cute you are being for her, but she will also enjoy the freedom, the power, and the adoration she now feels from you and she will look at you as a lot 'sexier'  too...

Until next time, Carry yourself well, dress well, and find ways to do your chores eagerly with a smile to please your Woman!

Put on those Aprons boys, and get back to your housework!

In the last installments I talked about what I call Rule #1, and that is to be a “Manly Man”. Women like having men that can give them a sense of safety and security. They like having a guy around that they can show off to their friends and maybe make them just a little jealous. They also like having a ‘sexy beast’ for later under the sheets too!

Some of the basics of this were covered in the articles on “The Man’s Hour”, “Clothes Make the Man”, and “Being a Classy Guy”. Well your work outside the home job is over for the day, your evening out with your One True Queen has come to a close and it’s time for you to head straight home, put on your apron, and start doing your chores! Well I don’t always wear an apron. I do if I am in a rush to make dinner and still have my good clothes on from work. I often get home and change my clothes if there is time, but OK I DO wear an apron and frankly I think we both enjoy it when I do! 

Home Life As it Should Be!

So in today's entry I am embarking on a description of what I call Rule #2 – “Becoming Her Domestic Servant”. Yes, take ownership of all the little things that most women have felt overwhelmed with since time began. Make what might be traditionally thought of as “Her” chores, into “Your” chores. Cook, Clean, Do the Laundry, etc. 

Facing the facts, times have changed guys. I will talk more about the march of history and the changing sex roles in society later but in the past forty years the percentage of two income families has gone from around 50% to pretty close to 100%. And she isn’t just making minimum wage working part time either now. About 30% of all households in post industrial Western countries have the woman as the primary wage earner, and that number is still rising. This long grinding recession has made those numbers even stronger in her favor. Women get more undergraduate degrees and they continue to move forward in the arena of graduate degrees as well. Long gone are the days when Ward Clever could work 40 hours and expect his stay at home wife to have a spotless and tidy home and a delicious dinner on the table for him.

June Cleaver Was The Best! Ward Should Have Thanked Her Without Ceasing!

So if having a good looking man on her arm who protects her and provides for her and dotes on her are things that make a woman feel good about herself and loved, what things upset her and rob from her spirit? If you asked most women they would say that the endless drudgery of cooking and cleaning would be very high on her list of life sapping events. The never ending battle to clean the house and feed everyone can be pretty tough if it is just assumed that you will do it forever and never be recognized for it. If you want to serve your Queen as Her loving and eager to please knight, you need to slay those domestic dragons for her! If you do, she WILL finally begin to feel like the Queen that she was born to be.

Heading Off To Slay Dragons For Her Majesty

We need to AT LEAST take our share of the housework and make it our own. But that would be just doing the minimum, and on this blog I talk about going further. Not just begrudgingly doing around half of the housework, but enthusiastically taking as much of it as you can. Taking ownership of keeping her house clean and doing it enthusiastically with a smile will make her feel like the luckiest girl in the world! No longer will she feel burdened and shackled to these endless chores. 

Re-leaving Her Of Housework Is Your Role Now And She LOVES IT!

One could do the absolute minimum and do maybe 30 to 40% of the housework and do it grudgingly. But what kind of a life is that? Once it is established that a job must be done, why not do it well? Why not do it with enthusiasm. I am sure that you have experienced both ways of doing a job in the past and frankly I find that putting in far more than the minimum and working hard at it and taking pride in it leaves me feeling much better about myself. I feel ‘fulfilled’.

Our women feel burdened by housework. Let’s liberate them from it! In fact I recall that very word being applied to me once when I had scrubbed the entire kitchen from top to bottom. I had spent days scrubbing every nook and cranny! My Queen looked it over when I was done and said with a smile “I feel LIBERATED!” That freedom to not be responsible for cooking and cleaning can make a woman feel free. Seeing the man in her life take ownership of these chores can let her know that she is loved, AND yes, she can feel like a Modern ‘Liberated Lady’ with pride, power, and the respect that women deserve. I am really happy to be able to provide all these aspects to her life now and that one comment made it more than worth all the time and energy I had put into that task.

All Men Need to Learn How To Serve Women From Now On

I have talked about the five languages of love before, and how I instinctively knew when the time came that my lady would be most attuned to a man who would love her through ‘Acts of Service’. Before I changed my life and dedicated myself to serving her and pleasing her, she was an angry and frustrated woman. The house was a mess and she felt overwhelmed with all the endless work that needed to be done. She would yell at me about the condition of the house and I would shrug, get angry and leave. Ours was not a happy marriage.

Since I decided to turn things around and take ownership of the things that she hates doing she has time to enjoy her pursuits and I have found joy and fulfillment in serving her and in seeing her be happy.

The Bible teaches us to ‘serve one another’ and Christ showed us the way through acts of service and caring for people. “Husbands serve your wives as Christ served the Church.” Is a motto I try to live by. If He would die for us, as well as performing numerous miracles and acts of kindness, and you know that your wife WANTS scratch that NEEDS you to take care of her house for her, what sacrifice is a little house work?

I will probably do a posting on male/female relations in the Bible later, and NO I do not think  that women should be seen as subservient to men nor do I think God sees things this way either.

The important thing is that as soon as you get home (after greeting your beloved of course and letting her know how happy that you are to be there with her) that you dive right in and do some cooking or cleaning. Women really do LOVE that! Mine does anyway. I take care of a couple small things and start cleaning up the kitchen. The counters always need a wipe down from breakfast and the dishwasher usually needs to be unloaded, the floor may need sweeping. Trust me, the more that you take responsibility for the housework the more easily you will simply know what the highest priority item is for you to do first.

Happily Busy 21st Century Hubby!

Does all of this mean that I live as her live in slave doing nothing but housework twelve hours a day and she simply bosses me around? (Hmmm… Hot Fantasy, but no.) I work a few hours each weekend and she ‘helps out’ as she see fit. I put in some time each night when I come home. If I do not need to cook something new that night (sometimes we have leftovers and sometimes she is already cooking when I arrive) I go do 30 to 60 minutes of cleaning of some area of the house I know needs it most. If I need to cook, I cook, and usually clean up afterward too.

She is a good woman and does not abuse her freedom and control, although we are both often happiest when I am cleaning house and she is relaxing at the same time. She feels powerful, and free. I feel useful and fulfilled.

Sign Me Up!

More on this housework topic coming…