Crossing The Rubicon

In 49 BC the armies of Julius Caesar marched his armies upon the city of Rome and broke an ancient Roman Law against crossing the shallow stream known as the Rubicon River. This 'Crossing of the Rubicon' was and still is considered to be crossing the 'point of no return'.

His ambitions to overthrow the Roman government was now clear to all and to retreat after crossing the point would have been disastrous. It was now 'win or die'.

In a similar fashion I think that my relationship with Her Royal Highness has reached such a point and when it did, I took the initiative and crossed my own Rubicon. Although Caesar crossed to conquer I crossed to submit more fully.

It was a recent Friday night and we were packing to head out of town right after work. It would be one of our regular romantic getaways. I was packing and I got into the task quickly. I was so task focused that I did not even notice that I had gone over to full ‘task mode’. I had written about this state earlier and it is a place the subby hubby does not want to enter when the Queen is afoot!

I was focused on doing this job and did not want any interference. About half way through packing, Her Majesty came in to get her clothes out of the closet and basically slipped into the closet right in front of me and I had to stop and wait.  I stewed and was upset. I didn’t say anything but I fumed silently and when she came out she laid her clothes on top of my garment bag and I moved them.

She picked up on my anger and frustration and now I had made her mad! She stormed out of the room until I was done.

Now it is pretty rare these days that we will actually fight, but every once in a while I forget my place and it is always when I am in a “task oriented” mood. I am in a hurry and am not in control enough to just calm down and be patient. If I just stop and realize that she wants to talk to me or wants me to do something different that I should smile and say “Yes Ma’am. Right away Ma’am” And happiness will once again reign in the Queendom.

Once I was finished packing my own stuff she confronted me in the kitchen and the whole thing turned quickly into a shouting match. She had expected me to pack her clothes in my bag and take care of everything as I had done in the past. I was not planning on taking the bigger bag I usually took but just a couple jacket bags. She was angry and I was snapping back at her about not knowing what her expectations were! Anyway she continued to yell at me and after two or three more sentences she cut me right to the bone. “I think that I am only the Queen when you feel like it!”

Never Anger The Queen!

Whoa! Even feeling all angry and macho THAT ONE REALLY HURT!

I could see how serious she was and I just stopped arguing and got sullen and quiet. In a few minutes I was opening her car door for her (as I do every single time she goes anywhere with me – the rest of you start doing this too!) and apologizing for having been so out of control. She was semi-placated but it would take something more to repair this one.

Driving there I probably apologized two or three more times and took her hand and kissed it a couple of times. She became increasing relaxed now and as she slowly realized that I was back in my place. During the trip I thought long and hard about how I had forgotten my own advice about being open and flexible to her will and showing the love and reverence that I always felt by being calm and ready to change direction when she wanted me to. I thought about how I could better prevent this type of thing from continuing to happen, and I remembered something I had read once about a marriage counselor who was not experiencing great success in her job and had a couple come in that just could not stop fighting.

The counselor decided to try a radical new approach. Her advice was for the wife to simply put a band aid on hubbie’s mouth when they fought and he would then remember to be silent. He could not speak again until she came and removed it. Everyone thought it was a crazy idea and that it wouldn’t work. Even though the counselor never let on that she had her doubts. But as their relationship was just so tattered and close to the end, and little else had worked for them or any other couples, they tried it. 

Hush Now - I Am The Woman And I Get The Last Word  - Always...

The next time they met, the couple were all smiles and the simple “Hush up hubby, your woman is speaking” advice had saved their marriage! The first time they did it, they both started laughing and the fight ended. The next couple of times the silliness had worn off a little but they were both happy and hubby obeyed the rules and the whole situation d-escalated. This silly little example of defining just who was in charge had simplified everything. When a couple fights it is often because neither knows who is supposed to win! When the rules are laid out more clearly everyone seems happier. That is all I know about the case and I wonder how they are today. But I thought “Look I am STILL doing this stuff and neither of us in happy when I do. Let’s try something radical. She doesn't feel like she is firmly on the throne at all times, so l shall place her there!”

During the drive we talked about ‘Flexibility’. Our church had promoted the idea of having each person select a character trait that they wanted to strengthen in the coming year and make it their focus. I had selected the word ‘flexibility’. Partly I do want to be more physically flexible and I do regular stretching exercises to help with my lifting and to help prevent injuries. Partly I wanted to be more open to her will and direction in my life as that too will strengthen our marriage and prevent avoidable fights and injuries to our hearts.

When we started talking about my ‘flexibility’ she said “That really is a good word for you. It is something that you could work on.” I really do want to be more open to HER will. I want to be more flexible to doing what she wants and living as she wants me to! I want to be a more comfortable and easier to control tool in her hands. She did not say what she said in a way that meant “I want to have more control over you”, but I know that part of her sees it as my role to be the flexible one and mold myself more to her liking. She wants me to be her “good boy” at all times and to BE her tool who will live only to serve and obey her. She likes being served. She LIKES being Queen and she WANTS to be revered and obeyed more deeply and more of the time! Part of her does anyway.

I think that she is much more comfortable with my pliancy to her now than she used to be. Early on since everything we are talking about DOES touch on sexual fantasy, she was very apprehensive. “Is this just some weird sex fantasy for you?” In a way I suppose it is/was. But in other ways it is a deep heartfelt desire to love, serve, and revere her.

Over time I think she has come to accept that this new me is the real deal and well if she gets to have her own deeply held yet deeply suppressed sexual fantasies of dominance and control come true in a ‘safe and controlled environment’ then HELL YEAH she is going to simply enjoy it!

I could sense her relaxing as I drove and we talked and I could also sense a growing sense of confidence and control in her. When I first started down this path my goal was to help her become more confident and more assertive. I had crazy ideas of some kind of Female Dominant Marriage evolving out of that. But that wasn’t really what either of us wanted, all kink and forbidden sex games and whippings and contracts and such. But I have always wanted to support her emotionally and help her feel her own power and self-assertion come forward more.

On that drive I began to sense what had been brewing inside her for a long time as her confidence not only showed, but started to bubble over.

She has always been a ‘nice’ person. Never one to gossip or complain about others who were not there. She has great self-control and well yes “class” about her. But during that trip I could see how the power dynamics for her at work were beginning to really shift. She started talking about just how dumb some of the people she worked with were. These are all people with advanced degrees too! And I have to say that I have NEVER heard her talk like this before about anyone! She didn’t just hiss about them in an impotent way. She told me stuff and laughed. And the thing was that she was not nervous or apologetic about it at all. She just laid it out and sounded quite well “superior”.

When we arrived at our hotel, I was still in a fairly deeply submissive mood but I was also a bit afraid of what was to come. I had been thinking on the way down how to give more control to her. I had been thinking of how to avoid both the anger I felt when she went into the closet first and to simply BE the happy servant who waits upon his Lady Boss. At the time, I SHOULD have either gone to do something else or sat quietly with a smile waiting for her to be done. But I did not and to that failure I feel shame.

Also I NEVER should have raised my voice to her. If she is angry, it is because I have disappointed or upset her and I need to apologize and submit quickly and completely!

Hush Honey, the WOMEN Are Talking Now...

Yet I was quiet frightened of what would come next if I GAVE over control to her like this.

I decided to surrender my will in all arguments to her! I decided that she should have a signal that I would understand if she wanted me to be silent and I would obey. BOY this sure sounded pussy whipped! Downright cartoonishly Pussy Whipped and IN REAL LIFE no less!

But I did it. I surrendered my ability to argue with her or contradict her completely on that Friday night! Never again would I ‘get the last word’ or even try to. That last word would now be solely her property.

Once we got to the hotel room, I got down on both knees and kissed the backs of her hands. I apologized again. Probably the fifth time for what I had done, and she giggled a little because it was kind of over the top, but she enjoyed it too! Then I got up and hugged her and whispered in her ear that I didn’t want to ever argue with her again and that if she ever thought I was getting angry or out of control, then she should have a secret signal that she could give me to stop me. “You could put up your hand and say ‘stop’, or you could raise your finger to your lips and ‘shh’ me.

Go For It boys! Burn That Silly Old Man Card!

She seemed a little shy about the whole proposition at first but said: “I like the finger to the lips.” And right then I think I could have drawn a pretty little cartoon heart right over her now ever increasingly dominant vagina! She LOVED IT!

I think that she felt a REAL surge of power and ownership right then and even though she may have doubted it later had all really happened just like it did, she was in contented BOSS WOMAN mode from then on that night! She was satisfied that I had taken my surrender to a new level.

We went down to the hotel bar for a couple drinks before bed. The bar was named after a semi-famous athlete from that city forty years ago. I had always wanted to go there. I told her who he was and she said “I bet you $10 the average person in here does not know who he is.” She was still disgusted with the stupidity of the people she worked with.

She had told me things that she had never said to anyone and her whole personality just changed. She has NEVER said anything mean or gossipy to me about anyone before. But I could just feel her grabbing the power that was always hers and starting to wave it around that night. Our argument, followed by her victory, and then my utter collapse at her feet had awakened a real tigress that night!

Tigress Tigress Burning Bright.
May I Kiss Your Toes Tonight?

Oh sure she was a little vicious and gossipy, and if she was to act like that all the time to everyone it would be a real downer. But at the same time I could just FEEL her power! I could just FEEL her strength! I could feel her enjoying her relaxing into a new level of confidence and control. Long ago when I started down this path, helping her to feel more confident and assertive was my initial goal. Now we would both reap the benefits of those efforts.

I began to feel like I had married one of the (and I say this with the UTMOST RESPECT) “Alpha Bitches” in school and it was years later and She was STILL better than anyone else and She could put them down with ease and I WAS THE LUCKIEST BOY WHO EVER BREATHED to live under HER umbrella of bitchy domination! AND I LOVED IT!!!

Oh Alpha Girls, Let Me Live As Your Personal Arm Candy And Flunky Boy Toy PLEASE!

(You DO know that the word Bitch means Being In Total Control of Hubby don’t you?)

She had talked like this all the way there in the car in a slowly increasing tempo, and now in the bar it was peaking! I simply agreed with her with all due docility and kissed her hand a few times and apologized and was sweet and quiet. I WE BOTH LIKED IT!

She bitched TOO me and not about me concerning these people and as long as I was in a mood of total submission and completely docile to her will, she treated me like I was her good and obedient pet and she was sweet to me. But toward these others I was there to listen to her bitch session and feel the release of her long bottled up wrath and well frankly to sweetly agree with her about everything.

When I sat at the basically full bar, there was an attractive your blonde in the seat next to me. I did not think she would have any interest in old married me sitting there with someone who was obviously my wife or my date. But she did! She said “Hello” and made pleasant conversation with me! It was all I could do to keep my cool and talk with her in the sweetest most basic pleasantries while I let her size me up.

She had a certain natural beauty about her. She had no makeup on and was tall and athletic looking. She had a Roman nose that added character to an already attractive face but might not be considered classically beautiful. But make no mistake, she was quite attractive. And it seemed to me that if I had been single and alone and played my cards right, I might have been able to spent a little more time with her!

Anyway I made sure that I introduced my owner to her and then the three of us talked about the city we were in and how she was a social worker who lived downtown and this was a prime local watering hole and we talked about some of the attractions in town that we should visit.  After a bit she got a text and responded and was quickly gone. I wonder if I had been alone if she would have bolted so quickly. Ah I flatter myself!

Back in the room after an hour or so in the bar with her bitching and laughing at all the people who are inferior to her, and me adoring and hoping to be worthy, we went upstairs to our room. I KNEW that my utter surrender to her and ‘our’ new plan to make certain that she not only WON EVERY ARGUMENT FROM NOW ON but that I would be silenced, and humiliated and submissive and apologetic afterward had turned HER ON! It had turned her on in a BIG way and it had released that Mighty and Sacred Bitch Beast within her! I now knew that her new level of power had gone straight to her well 'some part of her'...! 

Take him Girl!
After All he WAS Born To Be Your Property!

Over the next few minutes I got to give pleasure more than once and did not take any for myself. A "win win" situation as She has pleasure, and I stay charged up to give her more pleasure later!

But WAIT THERE’S MORE!

An hour later (and it was kind of warm in the room) she asked “How asleep are you?” I was awake enough and told her so. 

At that point she said: “Well if you don’t mind, you can massage my feet now.”

It was really a command but she had put in a 'nice way'.

O M G!!!! It’s the middle of the night and “You can massage my feet now!!!???” OK!!! SUBBY HUBBY HEAVEN HERE WE COME!!!!

I got up and went to the foot of the bed. It was dark and she reached for where I was and said: “Where are you?” I told her. She laughed and handed me a little bottle of hand cream. I knelt and kissed each toe individually. I was in PARADISE!!!! Kiss, kiss, kiss. Then I kissed the ball of each foot and did a very gentle and chaste licks of the base of each toe. 

“Well if you don’t mind, you can massage my feet now.”
WHY WOULD I MIND!?!?!?

I had introduced myself to MAJESTY!!! Now I got to work and worked the cream into her right foot all around and worked her muscles. Mostly it was massage and a very occasional and chaste kiss! I worked her foot for about 15 minutes. Then she complained about the heat in the room. I got up and fiddled with the thermostat. I set the temp lower but it never got cooler. (The hotel fixed it the next day and cut $30 off our stay for the inconvenience! nice...)

When I returned her right foot was gone (all tucked up under her other knee) and only her one left remained. I worshiped and adored and massaged and kissed it for about 15 minutes also. At that time I asked where her right foot had gone. “You’ve already done that one. You can come back to bed now.” I did as I was told and got to sleep in the most delightfully Pussy Whipped state I have been in, in a long time! I slept nude and was still chaste for a few days since last she had ‘encouraged’ my release.

Fantasy Alert!

Anyway late at night after what I think of as ‘Toe Time’, I had a dream that we were all back in that bar just as before, only now I was wearing a very pretty pink and black velvet collar and Her Majesty held a dainty silver leash in her hand that was attached to me.

After I sat down, Blondie turned and started to flirt with me until she saw my collar. Then her eyes really lit up and she began to inspect that collar closely and saw Mistress holding my leash. She told Mistress how ‘pretty’ my collar looked and how she had seen several couples lately that had gone to a fully collared lifestyle, and how she thought it was just “So Romantic!” for the man to show how totally committed he was! 

She told us that she was thinking about only going out with guys who would consider it now because all the collared husbands she had met seemed to be “So Sweet and So Very Well Behaved!” Mistress said: “Oh he USUALLY behaves! DON’T YOU HONEY!?” then she gave my leash a tug and acted a bit menacing toward me. I flinched and said a soft “Yes Ma'am...”. They both laughed powerfully and in a state of overwhelming control. I smiled and laughed too. But my laugh was a nervous chuckle designed only to placate them.

"I think that couples who collar are just SO romantic!"

It seemed that ALL the women were starting to love us ‘collared boys’ and thought we were SO SWEET and Well Behaved! And the other women were all a little jealous of the relationships the Alpha Women had over their male slaves.

Yes that dream was awesome but the reality is starting to look just about as good now!

End Fantasy Alert

The rest of the weekend was lots of fun although the true mountain top experience happened over Friday night and into Saturday morning, Her Majesty was a most happy and satisfied Queen and seemed to glow with new found energy and passion for days afterward. 

I took her to a fun touristy event on the afternoon and then out to a Broadway style musical that night. I had brought a bottle of champagne and we drank that after the play and well, yes she wanted to 'play' a little more. "Ah subby hubby paradise!"

By Sunday morning all that had happened had my er, um 'loins burning' shall we say. No release for a few weeks and all of the Woman oriented fun and the purely reverent exchange of power into her hands had left me on FIYAH! 

We went to an opera matinee and I always enjoy doing that! The crowd is so, so, well so FEMALE! Yes there are men there but mostly we are there are escorts and arm candy and I love it! The men to me look kind of nondescript while the ladies dress and hold themselves as the divine rulers of the universe that they truly are! To look around the hall at the couples there is to see many female power dynamic pairings and it's beautiful! Not every couple looks like that but there seems to be a higher percentage there than anywhere else I know of.

Afterward we drove home and again around bedtime the excitement of the whole weekend coupled with my extended chastity had me auditioning for the role of the 'very good boy' for her! It had been a couple of days since my pledge of surrender had been spoken and it had not yet had to be used, but her ability to "shush" me whenever she wanted had been handed over to her from my knees and I am sure that she was starting to think "Did that really happen? Will he really obey when I first want to use it?"

I was just as determined at that point as I had been two days earlier to cede all argumentative powers to her and to BEHAVE for her at all the times. In close quarters I re-iterated my pledge. I openly promised to be 'her good boy' from now on. There will be no more arguments. I will simply submit. Just remember to "shoosh" me my Queen and I will surrender’! She LOVED IT!!! She started to feel a new surge of warm power and superiority all over AGAIN! 

I think that she was a bit spent physically but she could see how eager I was to please and she decided to give boy his 'little treat'. I fought to deny myself but it was to no avail and I also realized that it was her wish that I be released so I surrendered once more.

We have yet to openly argue since, and it is rare when we do. But when we do I hope that she will remember to simply use her power and silence me. I hope that I will be man enough to swallow my pride immediately and be quiet no matter what and to help her to reign in comfort and confidence forever more...

All Hail Her Majesty!
May She Reign Forever!