Dominant Women And Bitches

Lately I have been thinking about the factor of confidence in our lives and how it makes us better people. Those with confidence do what they believe to be right and don't really care what others think. Those without confidence seem to do just about anything to cover up that fact to others and even to themselves.

In my previous posting, I talked about couples where the woman has been reduced to a screaming shrew because she feels trapped in a marriage where the man does basically nothing and expects her to do it all.


Her ineffectual attempts to get him involved lead her down a road of increasing frustration and hostility, until she is screaming at him and he has tuned her out.

At This Point, I Bet She Would Love To Do This.
Of course I bet he would love it too!
Well at least I would love it!
I think... DAMN that would hurt!

Since I started out in a place similar to this and have worked my way out of it I have learned a few things along the way. And building up her confidence is a big part of it. In fact when I set out on my journey, building up her confidence and sense of self worth were critical elements in my set of  goals. This was one of the original goals that remained and I feel that I have been successful in achieving. There is always a ways to go but progress has been made.

I will start with the caveat that everything I say about women and confidence will apply to men as well. I will discuss men and the abundance or lack of confidence in a later posting.

A woman without confidence is molded by the environment and events around her.

A woman with confidence molds the environment and events around her.

A woman without confidence tries to mold the people and the environment around her through negative and defensive behaviors. Often a person like this resorts to playing the game of 'Get the first hurt in before they hurt you.' They sometimes operate in that way in order to have any influence or power and they feel that they must act negatively and do or say things that put others in a negative light.

This is a terribly unfulfilling way to live and is often the way children in Jr. High School behave.

On the other hand a woman who has confidence generally will be the one who lifts others up instead of putting them down. These are the people we like being around. They often make us the center of attention and when they do, you feel good about yourself and you feel good in their presence. I may have quoted him before but the great showman Florence Ziegfeld was known to make everyone else 'the star' when he was with them. He would sing other people's praises in public and in so doing, these people would seek out his company without even realizing why.

The man who created the Ziegfeld Follies probably knew a thing or two about showcasing people and talent.

By making other people the stars, you become the star yourself!

Obviously the opposite is also true. If you are constantly talking about yourself and your achievements and trying to make yourself the center of attention, your audience will eventually dwindle.

A while back, I posted about a very minor incident that I really enjoyed, as I believe did the two ladies involved.

It was called "Doing Chores For Other Ladies Under Her Direction".

http://onbecomingasurrenderedhubby.blogspot.com/2014/12/doing-chores-for-other-ladies-under-her.html

In it I chronicled my impressions of an experience of being 'volunteered' to do a chore for a lady friend of the Queen's.  

She is a good lady and a strong and confident lady as well. I really enjoy her company and doing little chores for her is fun. And when I am doing them under the direction of Her Majesty, well it's just delightful! Two strong and confident women gently bossing me around! It's Like a Visit to Pussy Whipped Paradise!

It was a simple task, remove, launder, and rehang a set of flags at her small private school. The collection had grown over the years and were both getting dirty and hung a bit haphazardly. As she is a widow now having her lady friends 'ask' their husbands to do things for her seems very natural and a good idea as well.

I knelt at both of their feet (YUM unto itself!) and did my part of the tasks while they talked and caught up. (It was on a second floor landing) It was so fun and so rare an opportunity to publicly kneel at multiple women's feet while they paid me no mind. That I relish it to this day! Frankly, I think they loved it too!

Rachael (not her real name) was so sweet and thankful and at one point went off to get me a knife or some scissors or something. I got to kiss the Queen's hand from my knees while she was gone. She beamed as I blushed and knelt happily at her feet.

All in all it was a very pleasant experience Ms. Rachael praised me in excess of the value of my efforts. I felt like a good little boy in her school as she did, and only in the best and happiest sense.  And her Majesty took me home and showed me that she too had been very happy with my efforts in her own fashion!

Now switch to one week later. The flags, removed and laundered are ready to be brought back and rehung. Only this time Ms. Rachael is not there and the care taker couple will be the ones to let us in.

Let us call the care taker lady "Doris". Doris meets us at the door, and neither of us has ever seen her before. We never see her husband at all. He is watching football on TV. If this had been Rachael's recently deceased husband he would have certainly met us and seen if we needed anything. I think he and I had quite a few things in common in our relations with the Mistress Race!

I may be reading too much into this but I think that simple fact of Mr. Care Taker being absent tells me a bit about the mind set of this couple.

As I get started, and encounter my first bit of difficulty Doris looks down her nose at me and with a half smile asks "Have you ever done this before?" Soooo she's into humiliating the men that are already kneeling at her feet is she? (SOUNDS YUM!)

Go For It Lady!
Show him Who Is Boss!
Make him Cry!

"um, no." I reply.

Now she gives me the full sneering laugh: "You've never done this before?"

It's really kind of a simple thing, although like any task you are new at you may have to figure a few things out along the way. I didn't want to be a smart ass and say something like "Well you get what you pay for." or "No. Would you like to do it?" or  "I was recruited for this." Instead I just swallowed my pride (doesn't that sound tasty? If it's your woman or a woman you really like it is delicious!) and press on.

As she does not get the defensive rise she appeared to be hoping for out of me, she leaves.

The Queen seems oblivious to all this, but it did seem a rather negative encounter. I mean THEY are the caretakers. Shouldn't they 'take care' or at least offer to 'take care'. And if someone else comes and does it should you sneer at them for volunteering?

I did this out of my affection for Ms. Rachael. That and because it was my Queen and Mistress who 'asked' me to. And well doing chores at assertive ladies feet IS what guys like us live for right?

Anyway, this is really a small incident. It certainly does not reveal the full character of the individuals involved which as actual whole human beings, is always much deeper and wider than I could ever reveal here or even know myself!

But it does set my thoughts into motion. Thoughts of confidence and leadership. Thoughts of affection and I don't want to say 'repulsion' but maybe indifference. I feel great affection for Ms. Rachael, while further contact with Ms. Doris interests me very little.

One of the thoughts I had was that there are people who never leave their 'comfort zone', and for them the thought of doing such is the scariest thing there can be. They have a certain set of skills and opinions which they have fine tuned and polished to the point of being really good in performing the associated tasks and in reverberating the acceptable opinions of those in their rather limited circle of friends. They limit their circle to the point where everyone basically agrees all the time. I doubt it is conscious but when someone has a differing opinion than the group they usually find themselves ostracized pretty quickly. (I am sure everyone here has some experience like this to call upon.)

A "safe" world has been constructed for them.

Often for these people when a task needs to be done, you call an 'expert' instead of venturing into those waters yourself. And miraculously 'experts' appear. I have known women like this before. They would not attempt a minor fix to something that certainly would not be too strenuous for any average woman to accomplish, but they call on a man to do it. And they expect that man to be prima facia 'an expert' on any number of things. They expect a 'white knight' to ride to their rescue.

Don't Worry Your Pretty Little Heads Ladies!
I Will Rescue You!

Often the men they call like to act like experts in everything and are only too happy to 'poo poo' those who need their help. Even though if no one called upon them their own sense of self worth would undoubtedly plummet.

Well ladies I am sorry to tell you that I am not an 'expert' on EVERYTHING that some of you expect me to be an expert at. Most men aren't. I discussed earlier that I am no electrician and while I COULD do that kind of work at home, it would be done faster and better by someone else AND I could avoid having sleepless nights for years worrying about burning down the house!

When these expectations are not met, even in the slightest, by the person who was asked to do the job then that person is to be belittled in all things as an incompetent boob. They may not have had any more experience that the person asking but were the ones brave enough and selfless enough to try, yet they must be punished!

Being 'asked' to do something by a woman like this is usually a one time thing for me. I have no desire to attempt things I am not an expert in for someone who will treat me negatively no matter what I do.

This brings up the idea of the male archetype of a Superhero. Some women live without any personal confidence in doing things for themselves because 'real men are superheroes' 'real men can do anything'. Uh no. There are no people male or female that can do just anything like a expert.

While they would never admit it and they have expertise in certain areas, these women are basically 'clinging vines', who expect men to do everything for them. And while I am more than happy to volunteer my every waking moment to doing chores and serving a strong confident woman, I am not so willing to volunteer my time for a woman whose expectations of me are both soaring and ultimately very fragile.

If I 'Screw Up' in from of my Queen, she will probably laugh first then offer to support me in my efforts. I think the same would be true of Ms. Rachael and numerous other women I would be more than happy to dedicate my every waking moment to serving and pleasing.

However, if I 'Screw Up' in front of a woman with no self confidence, I know that she will do her best to belittle me and drive me away. Those with confidence tend to thank more, and those without tend to complain more.

I think there are lessons for all of us to take from this whether we are male or female. Firstly if someone goes out of their way to help you, treat them with a thankful spirit and if you see that they need help be brave and offer it.  Both of these behaviors will draw people towards you and you will often find a supportive response. Never belittle another's honest efforts to help you. This you will find as you look from the outside as an act of fear that will push people away from you.

Secondly, and I think this REALLY applies to us subby-hubby types, one of your main goals in life needs to be to increase your Queen's self-confidence! A confident Mistress will test you and mold you and guide you. She will be a pleasure to serve and even yes, to OBEY. She will recognize the sacrifices you make for her even if you fail, and she will love you for it. Hers will become a firm yet loving hand that can guide you all the days of your lives.

I know that we are the slaves and they are the Queens, etc. BUT, your service to her is what can bring out the true Majesty in Her! If you spend your life poo-pooing her and patting her on the head every time there is the slightest issue and through your manly weight around to constantly 'Save the Little Woman', you will even unknowingly damage her confidence and ruin the chance you both have for happiness.

If on the other hand you do all the things I've talked about in earlier entries like put everything aside to LISTEN to her, and support her in her decisions, and drop everything to do things for her, endlessly do little things to show t hat you are thinking about her, she will feel respected and her poise will slowly climb. She will feel that she can 'ask you' to do anything and that you will and that you will out of love, deference and respect.

Few women are born to be openly dominant over a man I know sad but true. But, you can help build up the woman you are already married to, and help her feel the love and self esteem to go forward and live out her natural birth right to be the head of your home. But to do so, you must support her.

Do so, and you can both live out your real dreams.

A Properly Respected Woman Feels Her Power And Confidence.
If you Treat Her Right And Build her Confidence Daily,
She Will Become The Ruling Female Force you Have Always Dreamed Of

Can A Wife Be Too Domineering?

Lady Misato asked the following question recently and answered it in her own way.

"Can A Wife Be Too Domineering?"

http://rwddh.blogspot.com/2015/03/the-domineering-wife.html

I have been thinking on this in connection with the concept of 'self confidence' for some time and I would like to finally give my definitive answer to her question: Yes and No.

Obviously the first 'No' is that so many of us WANT her to dominate and be domineering more than she is! Very few women will or even could go to the full 'level five' female domination scenario that haunts our dreams. Nor would many men anywhere but in our dreams for that matter.

Ah paradise!
This seems to be just about the right level!

Of course this may be what haunts our dreams but the reality of it might get old pretty quickly and as I have outlined in earlier articles I doubt that she would like it much at all if it were her reality. Of course she too might fantasize about it too, but...

So that leaves us with the Lady of the house attempting to be the alpha mate in more conventional ways. She decides all the important issues, when to buy something big, where to live, where the kids will go to school, how much time you will spend scrubbing her kitchen floor, doing the ironing, buying her gifts, etc... (yum! - Oh I have digressed again. It is difficult not to drift off to happy fantasy land while writing about this stuff I can assure you.)

Sadly the reality of most 'domineering wives' is not a happy one. She feels powerless and in that powerless world she negatively tries to control what she feels that she must but can not. This woman is the negative image we all have of the nagging shrew.

Nag nag nag!
He just tunes her out and she just gets madder and more demanding.

This is the state we find MANY marriages in today. She is frustrated. She is angry. The man she married ignores her requests, so she stops requesting. She starts demanding. He ignores her demands. She explodes regularly out of anger and frustration over everything in her life.

He mostly tunes her out and slowly and coldly starts to hate her.

At this point we have reached marriage hell. Many of these couples do end in divorce.

Is there a solution?

Of course there is. But it will not be easy.

I will start with you men reading this cause well, I know our side better anyway and if you are committed to improving your marriage and making both she and yourself happy again then let me tell you there is a way to do that.

This was in many ways my situation.


If you are reading this entry as your first in this blog you may think: "Wait! Didn't you marry a whip toting leather bitch like all of us always dream about? That's what I came here to read about! What the hell kind of Female Dominance blog is this anyway!? I want my money back!"

OK for you I offer this:

There!
This is why you are here! To read about my daily ass whippings and humiliation sessions right?

As SAXXY as that scene might be it's not my reality and it's not the reality of over 99% of couples out there. If it's yours well  YOU LUCKY DOG!!! Oh wait, "Down Boy!"

But to return to reality for a moment, you are a man with a nagging angry wife. You have tuned her out because all you get is anger and negativity. And even if what she wants you to do makes sense and is fair you aren't doing it to give her the satisfaction that she has won something! She is furious with you and your marriage is heading to disaster. What can you do?

In what should came as no surprise to anyone yet is to almost everyone, start to listen to her. Usually she is angry because she feels overwhelmed and forgotten. Many women today work full time, do the cooking and cleaning and never get either any appreciation for it or any help in doing it!

If this is you and to an extent it was me, STOP DOING THAT. Yes I know she seems like 'such a  bitch'. Yes I know that everything out of her mouth is hatred for you right now. You are wondering why in the hell should I help her?

Guess what, if you want to improve your lives together it is the only way it will happen. One of you has to budge and 90% of the time or more it really is because we men have taken her for granted. If this is your situation, face it. All of her bitching and moaning and yelling is the final stage of her asking for help. If you start to just help, guess what? She will still yell and bitch and moan and still be mad as hell!

Oh well. Actually yes, from her position of powerlessness she still feels that it is important to continue to hurt you. It is a situation where the injured party is afraid to trust and has grown into a situation where their only safety is to 'Get the first hurt in' on the other party. To act vulnerable is unthinkable to them at this time.

And you know what you should do, keep pitching in. Do so without any smart mouth snapping back. Do things without her saying anything. She will wonder what is going on. Then later she will still yell at you to do something else and she will be ready for a fight and she will want to hurt you and .... Hell man this did takes years to get into this mess, but stick with it. You will be surprised. It does get better and it gets better fairly quickly. Just don't expect an overnight miracle.

Yes, you have done some chores she has always wanted you to do for her. And she is a little confused, but still mad as hell! She yells at you to do something else now. What is your response?

Well you could ignore her or yell back that "I JUST DID THAT OTHER THING YOU BITCH!!!", or you could offer no resistance to her will (OH SUBBY HUBBY LIKES THE SOUND OF THAT!) and say "OK" meekly and get up and do it.

If you simply do what she tells you to do without any resistance, how long do you think it will be before she starts to tone it down and stop yelling? It will happen in a fairly short time. No one fights forever once they realize that the other side has completely surrendered and offers no resistance. (OH BABY NOW WE ARE COOKING! TOTAL DOMESTIC SUBMISSION!!!)

The central issue about both of your behaviors at this point is her level of self-confidence. If she is doing everything like a slave and you are not supporting her, her level of confidence is zero and her level of anger and frustration is near 100%.

If she feels that she is in a partnership and that even though she sometimes does end up still being abusive (THAT'S FINE WITH ME!) that you are there to help her and support her, then the confidence starts to go up the frustration goes down and she starts to feel respected. Once the dynamic changes, the yelling ends, the affection is re-kindled (yeah you think regular make up sex is good? Try making up for years of intransigence...)

Isn't a satisfied confident woman what you always wanted to be married to?

This to me is the key for the man. If you, the man want to stop the fighting just submit! 90% of the time if a woman is mad it is because she feels unappreciated and unsupported. This leads to feeling unloved. This leads to a lack of confidence and acting shrewish and always wanted to return the hurt she feels.

If you stop offering resistance and swallow some pride, (Oh boy don't we all want to taste some yummy pride before our women?) she will stop pushing and trying to hurt you.I know there ARE draw backs.

It amazes me still that I never put the two and two together myself for so long, and it still amazes me that while 97% of men admit to female dominant fantasies, and 67% admit that female dominant fantasies are the majority of their fantasy life, that so few want to support the one woman that could make them come true (on a limited basis of course - or who knows?).

I will have more to say on this topic soon from different perspectives.

The concept of personal confidence is one I have been mulling in my mind during this long hiatus from posting, and hopefully I will have a few things to say which others will find of value...

Farewell to a true stallwart in our company

It is with great sadness I must note the passing of the great blog "Worshiping Your Wife".

Mark Redmond has announced that he will no longer be publishing any new content to the site just this week. (I know you thought I had done that already! But I'll be back. You know about life. Things come and go.)

Here is the addr:


http://worshippingyourwife.blogspot.com/


Mark's site has been a great inspiration to many of us over the years and many of the earlier entries were truly eye opening to me.

Early on in my own journey, I read everything that site had to offer over the course of a few weeks and my own ideas morphed and changed as I absorbed the info. Some of it make perfect sense to me. Some of it just seemed to be directed toward 'kinksters', and some of it well it seemed kind of fantasy oriented.

Oh I would HATE to be treated like this!
I think....

OH PLEASE WHIP ME! LEASH ME! HUMILIATE AND MAKE ME SCRUB YOUR FLOORS 24/7!

Well I think it was fun to read and jerk off to, NOT THAT I WOULD EVER DO THAT MIND YOU!!!!.

But in the words of former President George Herbert Walker Bush concerning actually LIVING that wildly humiliating subservient lifestyle: "Na guhh happen" ('Not going to happen' for our non-American friends.



So it is with great sadness I mark the passing of the site.


On the positive side, the archives will continue to be open and I encourage anyone interested to go and read everything there. Start from the earliest entries and work forward. I think you will see what I mean.

Mark, farewell and thanks for the insights and the entertainment...

 PS. Oh Well Since I have Been Gone and this was a short article, I thought I would give you one more YUMMY fantasy picture...

"Listen mister! If you EVER want out of your chastity cage again, I SUGGEST you get this house A WHOLE LOT cleaner than it is and do your chores with a smile!"

PPS
I do have a couple ideas in the works right now.
I would like to publish something on 'Strength and Weakness' and it's probably not what you think.
Both sexes can be emotionally strong or weak, and being strong for Dominant Ladies and their Subby Hubbies can lead to a better relationship for both.

Working Overtime In Service To Her!

Lately the truth that most men need to spend more time actually SERVING Their Woman Lords and less time indulging themselves in idle time wasting has come home more to me than ever! And I think this even applies to most guys who consider themselves in a Female Led Relationship.

I don't recall where I read the following but I think it was in reply to a FLR posting. It has rattled around in my head for some time and has truly germinated lately. It, in a word "inspires" me.

"In the past, men were always required to work 12 hours a day in hard labor 6 days a week. Farmers worked in their fields and barns from early morning till late at night daily to provide for their wives and children. You have the comfort of your wife's home to continue your work before you need to go to bed. Why are men in our society reluctant to do their job?"

Now I know this sounds more like a full time 24/7 FD slave/mistress relationship than anything realistic but it still 'rings my bell'. I mean why shouldn't a man go to work for eight hours to provide for his Queen and then continue that service in more personal ways that she actually sees the results of? Why shouldn't the average man put in an hour or two each evening cooking, cleaning, repairing, maintaining, planning, straightening, etc?

There Is No 'free time'....
Now That you Are Married, There Is Service Time And Wasted Time.

(Yes Servator - This IS One Of My Favorite Captions of yours.)

My standard routine for some time now, has been to get up on Saturday and after a few minutes of checking emails and eating, I generally cleaned house until I dropped in mid afternoon! After several hours of sweeping, and laundry and dusting, and wiping, and scrubbing, and well you know (OR YOU SHOULD KNOW!) general cleaning up I would be exhausted and take a shower and a nap. 

Often I had little energy to offer on Sunday to supplement the efforts I had made on Saturday even though I always seem to plan out more cleaning than I can physically accomplish in one day and always PLAN to do the handful of final items on the next day. I began to think "If only I could do that for TWO days each weekend! Then the house would sparkle!" But I never seemed to get there except on the rare occasion.

It always amazes me how far from the level of cleanliness I had left the house on Saturday that it had naturally degraded itself to by the following Saturday. We are currently just two people living normal (whatever that is) lives. We are not by nature messy people. We pick up after ourselves. 

And yet the house just gets dirty in 6 days. There is dirt on the floor. The kitchen and bathroom counters need to be washed. There is a MOUNTAIN of laundry. Dust falls without ceasing. Etc...

Housework needs to be approached like a marathon.
Don't sprint, but don't stop moving either.

I have kind of reached the point of wondering if one person CAN keep a house clean! 

So starting earlier this week in an effort to keep things at a higher level of cleanliness for Her Royal Highness, I have re-dedicated myself to living up to that old fashioned (new sissy hubby) standard of coming straight home from work, changing my clothes and putting in a solid hour or more of service oriented work BEFORE I begin to relax!

Most of this work will be housework, although other projects can take a front seat depending upon circumstances. Paying bills, helping her with various projects she is working on, grocery shopping, etc.

It's the New  Model hubby
AKA "Mr. Sexy"

The plan for me is to do some worthwhile service work each evening for at least an hour so that the house does not run down hill all week and require a single Herculean effort on Saturday that basically makes me worthless afterward. Hopefully, this will also allow me to accomplish more over the week and have more energy to tackle longer term projects.

I was at the point of thinking that maintenance cleaning alone (coupled with a forty hour a week job) was all I could do. I WANT to keep the maintenance cleaning at a high level AND start to really do the DEEP cleaning that she deserves to have done for her.

I think that if I spread out the maintenance cleaning through the week nights, I may be able to tackle a few bigger projects on the weekends now.

Men Really Do Need To Live In Such A Way That Our Every Breathe Is Breathed To Honor Her,
The One Who Has Agreed To Love And Guide Us Forever More

Wish me luck!

SH

Viagra and Chastity

Recently Her Royal Highness and I were watching TV when a Viagra commercial came on. (it could have been a different pill but I think that it was Viagra.)

It started out by claiming that 40% of men over the age of 40 suffer from some form of Erectile Dysfunction. We were both stunned. I looked at her and said: "Sucks to be them!"

Then we both laughed.

The Queen is not worried about my being able to perform for her when she wants me to. Oh I have the occasional issue but they are rare and she knows it and she has come to expect her pleasure when she wants her pleasure! In general when I have an issue it is because she catches me unawares and I am not quite ready for it. She has however learned how to give me a little time to warm up to the idea now and 'mechanical failures' have become very rare.

And for the fact that she can basically use me when, where, and how she wants well she gets no complaints from me about that! Frankly I think that this is marriage as it was always intended to be.

Before ALL Else!
While she may not actually BE God, to me at least Woman exists somewhere between man and the angels...

I don't say this to brag, but to say that I do my best to keep myself ready for her use when she wants to use me because I am dedicated to HER pleasure. If I was totally dedicated to MY OWN pleasure (as I used to be and as many men are) the odds of either A ) male organ failure and/or B ) male disinterest would be much higher.

Male failure while it can be forgiven is not a good route to go down as the man's frustration and embarrassment will only compound with one failure after the next, And HER frustration will not be going down any time soon either being married to a man who cannot perform! Since it is the woman who actually initiates play time, it is really up to the man to 'be ready'.

The sexual ego of the woman is something that should be supported and built up by the man. I mean what REAL man wouldn't want to have his woman believe and show every indication that her belief is well founded, that she is both a beautiful goddess that he can not resist AND a mighty prowling tigress who can overpower her lover at will?

What man would not want to be the play thing of such a mighty and magnificent creature? If you don't know it yet, you SHOULD know that saying: "If you want to be married to a goddess, start worshiping the one you are already married to!"

When a woman truly feels this way about herself, the confidence and good feelings she has about herself will carry over into every other part of her life. And frankly building her confidence is one of the biggest reasons that I do what I do! In order to help support this dynamic it is important for the male to always be at the ready for her.

Disinterest is not so forgivable as physical failure, and if she still has a healthy sexual drive it will certainly lead to being married to a disappointed wife who may become quite bitter and will probably lead to the two of you leading separate and unfulfilled lives under the same roof. At least at first. Worse things may follow.

His physical abilities are drained and his heart and mind are filled with fantasy images that no one could ever live up to. This man is heading for disaster, and needs to get a new reality focus for his heart.

I know about the latter state of living separate and unfulfilled lives. I used to live there.

I also know that a medical condition is nothing to laugh at and that I am not a doctor even though I do play one on the internet from time to time.

But this comment on TV about such a large portion of men over the age of forty having some degree of ED, coupled with my own experiences and the readings I have done on the experiences of other FLR bloggers has led me to wonder: "Do these guys really have a medical condition? Or are they just 'Playing With Mommies Toys' without permission?"

Are some of these guys claiming 'erectile dysfunction' really just dysfunctional around the Queen of the manor and have no trouble 'doing themselves over and over again'? Is it because they keep themselves drained all the time and do not make the sacrifices necessary to please her that they are claiming a medical condition?

Now Stop That and Be a Good boy!

As I have reported before in earlier entries the AVERAGE male 'spanks the monkey' once every day. And that is average. Some of you guys (and I know because I used to be in that club) are constantly trying to set new records!

Leaving 'Mommies Toy' alone will require some emotional adjustments for a lot of guys. Maybe it will for most guys. Again, I speak from experience. And while I remain chaste for her, it is not in a steel or plastic cage. I have just learned to leave it alone! Oh trust me I get urges, but the less you do it, the less likely you are to succumb to the urge to say "Oh what the heck! What would it hurt?"

Well that "What the heck" attitude leads from one incident to the next, to the next. Soon you find yourself totally drained and wouldn't you know it, the point of total drainage is usually when "Momma wants her some!" I've been in that boat before. You don't think she is going to be interested and you just 'go for it' and you 'go for it' multiple times over a couple of days, and then suddenly she surprises you and you are not ready.

This often happens when she has shown little interest in playing with you for anywhere from several days to several weeks and you are home alone while she is out. You say "What the heck!" and Wango-Bango! one thing leads to another and another and then you feel drained and exhausted.

She comes home in a 'friendly mood' because she has been away all day thinking of you. But you have got nothing to give!

Can you say: "Awkward!"?

If on the other hand (I meant to do that...) you didn't take things into your own hands but instead waited on her. What if you waited for her timing?

Oh it can be difficult to be all alone and feel forgotten and think about 'The good old days' when you used to keep your batteries as low as humanly possible. But if you resist that and wait on her, I think your life and hers will improve.

I can only tell you what has happened in my life by making that switch. And yes, there are times when I am convinced that it will never happen again! And almost every single time I am about to give up, I find myself flat on my back getting 'ravished' within a day or two. Almost every single time!

Selfish males Destroy Marriages.
Selfless males Keep Their Women Satisfied!

This is an interesting and motivational picture. It shows how when a man controls himself for her both of their sex lives improve vastly! Over time he becomes FILLED with desire for her. He will do ANYTHING to please her. His libido is through the roof and she, well she is suddenly having the most and the BEST sex of her life and she is LOVING him for it! She is basically having as much pleasure as her body can handle!

Now the chart above used the whole lock and key symbolism and I know some of you reading this are all locked safely and snugly away. But this does not need to be the case. A man on honor chastity who suffers and denies himself for her can get just as worked up as a 'bird in a cage' can.

Since this is about being Surrendered Husband, go ahead and surrender that part of yourself to her. Wait. Wait on her. Both wait on her timing and wait upon her needs. The deeper you surrender yourself to her, the better things will be.


PS - Sorry if you thought this was a post about some poor guy locked away in a tiny little CB3000 with his cruel wife pumping him full of Viagra and laughing at how we squirms from the pain of his erections. Well not really. I made you suffer then disappointed you and that was what you came here for anyway!

Ha ha ha!!!! - Sadistic laugh.

Crossing The Rubicon

In 49 BC the armies of Julius Caesar marched his armies upon the city of Rome and broke an ancient Roman Law against crossing the shallow stream known as the Rubicon River. This 'Crossing of the Rubicon' was and still is considered to be crossing the 'point of no return'.

His ambitions to overthrow the Roman government was now clear to all and to retreat after crossing the point would have been disastrous. It was now 'win or die'.

In a similar fashion I think that my relationship with Her Royal Highness has reached such a point and when it did, I took the initiative and crossed my own Rubicon. Although Caesar crossed to conquer I crossed to submit more fully.

It was a recent Friday night and we were packing to head out of town right after work. It would be one of our regular romantic getaways. I was packing and I got into the task quickly. I was so task focused that I did not even notice that I had gone over to full ‘task mode’. I had written about this state earlier and it is a place the subby hubby does not want to enter when the Queen is afoot!

I was focused on doing this job and did not want any interference. About half way through packing, Her Majesty came in to get her clothes out of the closet and basically slipped into the closet right in front of me and I had to stop and wait.  I stewed and was upset. I didn’t say anything but I fumed silently and when she came out she laid her clothes on top of my garment bag and I moved them.

She picked up on my anger and frustration and now I had made her mad! She stormed out of the room until I was done.

Now it is pretty rare these days that we will actually fight, but every once in a while I forget my place and it is always when I am in a “task oriented” mood. I am in a hurry and am not in control enough to just calm down and be patient. If I just stop and realize that she wants to talk to me or wants me to do something different that I should smile and say “Yes Ma’am. Right away Ma’am” And happiness will once again reign in the Queendom.

Once I was finished packing my own stuff she confronted me in the kitchen and the whole thing turned quickly into a shouting match. She had expected me to pack her clothes in my bag and take care of everything as I had done in the past. I was not planning on taking the bigger bag I usually took but just a couple jacket bags. She was angry and I was snapping back at her about not knowing what her expectations were! Anyway she continued to yell at me and after two or three more sentences she cut me right to the bone. “I think that I am only the Queen when you feel like it!”

Never Anger The Queen!

Whoa! Even feeling all angry and macho THAT ONE REALLY HURT!

I could see how serious she was and I just stopped arguing and got sullen and quiet. In a few minutes I was opening her car door for her (as I do every single time she goes anywhere with me – the rest of you start doing this too!) and apologizing for having been so out of control. She was semi-placated but it would take something more to repair this one.

Driving there I probably apologized two or three more times and took her hand and kissed it a couple of times. She became increasing relaxed now and as she slowly realized that I was back in my place. During the trip I thought long and hard about how I had forgotten my own advice about being open and flexible to her will and showing the love and reverence that I always felt by being calm and ready to change direction when she wanted me to. I thought about how I could better prevent this type of thing from continuing to happen, and I remembered something I had read once about a marriage counselor who was not experiencing great success in her job and had a couple come in that just could not stop fighting.

The counselor decided to try a radical new approach. Her advice was for the wife to simply put a band aid on hubbie’s mouth when they fought and he would then remember to be silent. He could not speak again until she came and removed it. Everyone thought it was a crazy idea and that it wouldn’t work. Even though the counselor never let on that she had her doubts. But as their relationship was just so tattered and close to the end, and little else had worked for them or any other couples, they tried it. 

Hush Now - I Am The Woman And I Get The Last Word  - Always...

The next time they met, the couple were all smiles and the simple “Hush up hubby, your woman is speaking” advice had saved their marriage! The first time they did it, they both started laughing and the fight ended. The next couple of times the silliness had worn off a little but they were both happy and hubby obeyed the rules and the whole situation d-escalated. This silly little example of defining just who was in charge had simplified everything. When a couple fights it is often because neither knows who is supposed to win! When the rules are laid out more clearly everyone seems happier. That is all I know about the case and I wonder how they are today. But I thought “Look I am STILL doing this stuff and neither of us in happy when I do. Let’s try something radical. She doesn't feel like she is firmly on the throne at all times, so l shall place her there!”

During the drive we talked about ‘Flexibility’. Our church had promoted the idea of having each person select a character trait that they wanted to strengthen in the coming year and make it their focus. I had selected the word ‘flexibility’. Partly I do want to be more physically flexible and I do regular stretching exercises to help with my lifting and to help prevent injuries. Partly I wanted to be more open to her will and direction in my life as that too will strengthen our marriage and prevent avoidable fights and injuries to our hearts.

When we started talking about my ‘flexibility’ she said “That really is a good word for you. It is something that you could work on.” I really do want to be more open to HER will. I want to be more flexible to doing what she wants and living as she wants me to! I want to be a more comfortable and easier to control tool in her hands. She did not say what she said in a way that meant “I want to have more control over you”, but I know that part of her sees it as my role to be the flexible one and mold myself more to her liking. She wants me to be her “good boy” at all times and to BE her tool who will live only to serve and obey her. She likes being served. She LIKES being Queen and she WANTS to be revered and obeyed more deeply and more of the time! Part of her does anyway.

I think that she is much more comfortable with my pliancy to her now than she used to be. Early on since everything we are talking about DOES touch on sexual fantasy, she was very apprehensive. “Is this just some weird sex fantasy for you?” In a way I suppose it is/was. But in other ways it is a deep heartfelt desire to love, serve, and revere her.

Over time I think she has come to accept that this new me is the real deal and well if she gets to have her own deeply held yet deeply suppressed sexual fantasies of dominance and control come true in a ‘safe and controlled environment’ then HELL YEAH she is going to simply enjoy it!

I could sense her relaxing as I drove and we talked and I could also sense a growing sense of confidence and control in her. When I first started down this path my goal was to help her become more confident and more assertive. I had crazy ideas of some kind of Female Dominant Marriage evolving out of that. But that wasn’t really what either of us wanted, all kink and forbidden sex games and whippings and contracts and such. But I have always wanted to support her emotionally and help her feel her own power and self-assertion come forward more.

On that drive I began to sense what had been brewing inside her for a long time as her confidence not only showed, but started to bubble over.

She has always been a ‘nice’ person. Never one to gossip or complain about others who were not there. She has great self-control and well yes “class” about her. But during that trip I could see how the power dynamics for her at work were beginning to really shift. She started talking about just how dumb some of the people she worked with were. These are all people with advanced degrees too! And I have to say that I have NEVER heard her talk like this before about anyone! She didn’t just hiss about them in an impotent way. She told me stuff and laughed. And the thing was that she was not nervous or apologetic about it at all. She just laid it out and sounded quite well “superior”.

When we arrived at our hotel, I was still in a fairly deeply submissive mood but I was also a bit afraid of what was to come. I had been thinking on the way down how to give more control to her. I had been thinking of how to avoid both the anger I felt when she went into the closet first and to simply BE the happy servant who waits upon his Lady Boss. At the time, I SHOULD have either gone to do something else or sat quietly with a smile waiting for her to be done. But I did not and to that failure I feel shame.

Also I NEVER should have raised my voice to her. If she is angry, it is because I have disappointed or upset her and I need to apologize and submit quickly and completely!

Hush Honey, the WOMEN Are Talking Now...

Yet I was quiet frightened of what would come next if I GAVE over control to her like this.

I decided to surrender my will in all arguments to her! I decided that she should have a signal that I would understand if she wanted me to be silent and I would obey. BOY this sure sounded pussy whipped! Downright cartoonishly Pussy Whipped and IN REAL LIFE no less!

But I did it. I surrendered my ability to argue with her or contradict her completely on that Friday night! Never again would I ‘get the last word’ or even try to. That last word would now be solely her property.

Once we got to the hotel room, I got down on both knees and kissed the backs of her hands. I apologized again. Probably the fifth time for what I had done, and she giggled a little because it was kind of over the top, but she enjoyed it too! Then I got up and hugged her and whispered in her ear that I didn’t want to ever argue with her again and that if she ever thought I was getting angry or out of control, then she should have a secret signal that she could give me to stop me. “You could put up your hand and say ‘stop’, or you could raise your finger to your lips and ‘shh’ me.

Go For It boys! Burn That Silly Old Man Card!

She seemed a little shy about the whole proposition at first but said: “I like the finger to the lips.” And right then I think I could have drawn a pretty little cartoon heart right over her now ever increasingly dominant vagina! She LOVED IT!

I think that she felt a REAL surge of power and ownership right then and even though she may have doubted it later had all really happened just like it did, she was in contented BOSS WOMAN mode from then on that night! She was satisfied that I had taken my surrender to a new level.

We went down to the hotel bar for a couple drinks before bed. The bar was named after a semi-famous athlete from that city forty years ago. I had always wanted to go there. I told her who he was and she said “I bet you $10 the average person in here does not know who he is.” She was still disgusted with the stupidity of the people she worked with.

She had told me things that she had never said to anyone and her whole personality just changed. She has NEVER said anything mean or gossipy to me about anyone before. But I could just feel her grabbing the power that was always hers and starting to wave it around that night. Our argument, followed by her victory, and then my utter collapse at her feet had awakened a real tigress that night!

Tigress Tigress Burning Bright.
May I Kiss Your Toes Tonight?

Oh sure she was a little vicious and gossipy, and if she was to act like that all the time to everyone it would be a real downer. But at the same time I could just FEEL her power! I could just FEEL her strength! I could feel her enjoying her relaxing into a new level of confidence and control. Long ago when I started down this path, helping her to feel more confident and assertive was my initial goal. Now we would both reap the benefits of those efforts.

I began to feel like I had married one of the (and I say this with the UTMOST RESPECT) “Alpha Bitches” in school and it was years later and She was STILL better than anyone else and She could put them down with ease and I WAS THE LUCKIEST BOY WHO EVER BREATHED to live under HER umbrella of bitchy domination! AND I LOVED IT!!!

Oh Alpha Girls, Let Me Live As Your Personal Arm Candy And Flunky Boy Toy PLEASE!

(You DO know that the word Bitch means Being In Total Control of Hubby don’t you?)

She had talked like this all the way there in the car in a slowly increasing tempo, and now in the bar it was peaking! I simply agreed with her with all due docility and kissed her hand a few times and apologized and was sweet and quiet. I WE BOTH LIKED IT!

She bitched TOO me and not about me concerning these people and as long as I was in a mood of total submission and completely docile to her will, she treated me like I was her good and obedient pet and she was sweet to me. But toward these others I was there to listen to her bitch session and feel the release of her long bottled up wrath and well frankly to sweetly agree with her about everything.

When I sat at the basically full bar, there was an attractive your blonde in the seat next to me. I did not think she would have any interest in old married me sitting there with someone who was obviously my wife or my date. But she did! She said “Hello” and made pleasant conversation with me! It was all I could do to keep my cool and talk with her in the sweetest most basic pleasantries while I let her size me up.

She had a certain natural beauty about her. She had no makeup on and was tall and athletic looking. She had a Roman nose that added character to an already attractive face but might not be considered classically beautiful. But make no mistake, she was quite attractive. And it seemed to me that if I had been single and alone and played my cards right, I might have been able to spent a little more time with her!

Anyway I made sure that I introduced my owner to her and then the three of us talked about the city we were in and how she was a social worker who lived downtown and this was a prime local watering hole and we talked about some of the attractions in town that we should visit.  After a bit she got a text and responded and was quickly gone. I wonder if I had been alone if she would have bolted so quickly. Ah I flatter myself!

Back in the room after an hour or so in the bar with her bitching and laughing at all the people who are inferior to her, and me adoring and hoping to be worthy, we went upstairs to our room. I KNEW that my utter surrender to her and ‘our’ new plan to make certain that she not only WON EVERY ARGUMENT FROM NOW ON but that I would be silenced, and humiliated and submissive and apologetic afterward had turned HER ON! It had turned her on in a BIG way and it had released that Mighty and Sacred Bitch Beast within her! I now knew that her new level of power had gone straight to her well 'some part of her'...! 

Take him Girl!
After All he WAS Born To Be Your Property!

Over the next few minutes I got to give pleasure more than once and did not take any for myself. A "win win" situation as She has pleasure, and I stay charged up to give her more pleasure later!

But WAIT THERE’S MORE!

An hour later (and it was kind of warm in the room) she asked “How asleep are you?” I was awake enough and told her so. 

At that point she said: “Well if you don’t mind, you can massage my feet now.”

It was really a command but she had put in a 'nice way'.

O M G!!!! It’s the middle of the night and “You can massage my feet now!!!???” OK!!! SUBBY HUBBY HEAVEN HERE WE COME!!!!

I got up and went to the foot of the bed. It was dark and she reached for where I was and said: “Where are you?” I told her. She laughed and handed me a little bottle of hand cream. I knelt and kissed each toe individually. I was in PARADISE!!!! Kiss, kiss, kiss. Then I kissed the ball of each foot and did a very gentle and chaste licks of the base of each toe. 

“Well if you don’t mind, you can massage my feet now.”
WHY WOULD I MIND!?!?!?

I had introduced myself to MAJESTY!!! Now I got to work and worked the cream into her right foot all around and worked her muscles. Mostly it was massage and a very occasional and chaste kiss! I worked her foot for about 15 minutes. Then she complained about the heat in the room. I got up and fiddled with the thermostat. I set the temp lower but it never got cooler. (The hotel fixed it the next day and cut $30 off our stay for the inconvenience! nice...)

When I returned her right foot was gone (all tucked up under her other knee) and only her one left remained. I worshiped and adored and massaged and kissed it for about 15 minutes also. At that time I asked where her right foot had gone. “You’ve already done that one. You can come back to bed now.” I did as I was told and got to sleep in the most delightfully Pussy Whipped state I have been in, in a long time! I slept nude and was still chaste for a few days since last she had ‘encouraged’ my release.

Fantasy Alert!

Anyway late at night after what I think of as ‘Toe Time’, I had a dream that we were all back in that bar just as before, only now I was wearing a very pretty pink and black velvet collar and Her Majesty held a dainty silver leash in her hand that was attached to me.

After I sat down, Blondie turned and started to flirt with me until she saw my collar. Then her eyes really lit up and she began to inspect that collar closely and saw Mistress holding my leash. She told Mistress how ‘pretty’ my collar looked and how she had seen several couples lately that had gone to a fully collared lifestyle, and how she thought it was just “So Romantic!” for the man to show how totally committed he was! 

She told us that she was thinking about only going out with guys who would consider it now because all the collared husbands she had met seemed to be “So Sweet and So Very Well Behaved!” Mistress said: “Oh he USUALLY behaves! DON’T YOU HONEY!?” then she gave my leash a tug and acted a bit menacing toward me. I flinched and said a soft “Yes Ma'am...”. They both laughed powerfully and in a state of overwhelming control. I smiled and laughed too. But my laugh was a nervous chuckle designed only to placate them.

"I think that couples who collar are just SO romantic!"

It seemed that ALL the women were starting to love us ‘collared boys’ and thought we were SO SWEET and Well Behaved! And the other women were all a little jealous of the relationships the Alpha Women had over their male slaves.

Yes that dream was awesome but the reality is starting to look just about as good now!

End Fantasy Alert

The rest of the weekend was lots of fun although the true mountain top experience happened over Friday night and into Saturday morning, Her Majesty was a most happy and satisfied Queen and seemed to glow with new found energy and passion for days afterward. 

I took her to a fun touristy event on the afternoon and then out to a Broadway style musical that night. I had brought a bottle of champagne and we drank that after the play and well, yes she wanted to 'play' a little more. "Ah subby hubby paradise!"

By Sunday morning all that had happened had my er, um 'loins burning' shall we say. No release for a few weeks and all of the Woman oriented fun and the purely reverent exchange of power into her hands had left me on FIYAH! 

We went to an opera matinee and I always enjoy doing that! The crowd is so, so, well so FEMALE! Yes there are men there but mostly we are there are escorts and arm candy and I love it! The men to me look kind of nondescript while the ladies dress and hold themselves as the divine rulers of the universe that they truly are! To look around the hall at the couples there is to see many female power dynamic pairings and it's beautiful! Not every couple looks like that but there seems to be a higher percentage there than anywhere else I know of.

Afterward we drove home and again around bedtime the excitement of the whole weekend coupled with my extended chastity had me auditioning for the role of the 'very good boy' for her! It had been a couple of days since my pledge of surrender had been spoken and it had not yet had to be used, but her ability to "shush" me whenever she wanted had been handed over to her from my knees and I am sure that she was starting to think "Did that really happen? Will he really obey when I first want to use it?"

I was just as determined at that point as I had been two days earlier to cede all argumentative powers to her and to BEHAVE for her at all the times. In close quarters I re-iterated my pledge. I openly promised to be 'her good boy' from now on. There will be no more arguments. I will simply submit. Just remember to "shoosh" me my Queen and I will surrender’! She LOVED IT!!! She started to feel a new surge of warm power and superiority all over AGAIN! 

I think that she was a bit spent physically but she could see how eager I was to please and she decided to give boy his 'little treat'. I fought to deny myself but it was to no avail and I also realized that it was her wish that I be released so I surrendered once more.

We have yet to openly argue since, and it is rare when we do. But when we do I hope that she will remember to simply use her power and silence me. I hope that I will be man enough to swallow my pride immediately and be quiet no matter what and to help her to reign in comfort and confidence forever more...

All Hail Her Majesty!
May She Reign Forever!